never take life for granted.


By NEKESA MUMBI MOODY
ASSOCIATED PRESS
2/19/2007

R&B crooner Gerald Levert died three months ago "In My Songs," released last week, is a collection of ballads he was working on at the time of his death.


Associated Press

"You don't always have tomorrow, you don't always have the next five minutes."Eddie Levert


NEW YORK - Eddie Levert no longer breaks into uncontrollable tears over the loss of his son, R&B crooner Gerald Levert. But the tears still flow, and the pain still remains.

It's been three months since Gerald Levert, just 40 years old, the fiery singer, best known for passionate love songs.

Levert's death not only silenced one of soul music's richest voices, it also ended the powerful relationship the younger Levert shared with his father. More best buddies than father and son, the duo recorded an album together, toured together, and even wrote a book together, due out later this year.

Levert's dedication to his son, however, remains, and he's working now to make sure Gerald's final project is heard. "In My Songs," was released last week, and it's a collection of ballads that Gerald Levert was working on at the time of his death.

In an interview with The Associated Press, through laughter and tears, Eddie Levert talked about losing his son - and friend.

• • •

"We had just came back from doing three dates in South Africa. It was a great trip for both of us, which was really the last time he was on stage. We were getting home, he was trying to make sure he put the finishing touches on this album and also we were working on a new album I was doing. Me and him had been working on this album for the last eight years. So we were working on that, we were working on a new father and son album; he was constantly in the studio.

His last few days were really hectic. While we were in South Africa he had gotten bitten by something on his back and while we were there we had gone to the hospital to get it checked out, and to see if it was anything there. About three days before he passed, he was complaining about he was wheezing, and he went to the doctor, and the doctor took blood and they said (he was) fine, they sent him home, and he was at home and he had called me and we had talked on the phone.

He was upset a few things that had went down with one of our relatives, so he was ranting. And my son was very emotional, he would rant and rave and then I'd say, "OK, I'm not going to talk to him for a couple of days, and he'll be all right," so when I call him back he would have calmed down, and we can talk about this rationally.

I waited the couple of days and they called me ... and told me that they were unable to wake him up and they were rushing him to the hospital to try and revive him. The next call that I got, they told me they couldn't wake him up and he had passed.

It's like putting off some things. You say well, "I've always got tomorrow." You don't always have tomorrow, you don't always have the next five minutes. I still remember his last words to me, when I talked to him after he had went to the doctor, he says, "Dad, I'm going to go to the doctor and I want you to call me when I get back home this evening. You're gonna call me, right?" I said, "Yeah, I'm gonna call you this evening." (But) I said I'm gonna give him a few days to calm down because I don't like talking to him when he was that upset, and I didn't call him, and I never talked to him again after that. And I have to live with that, and I live with that every day, that I didn't call him, and I hurt because of that. I just want to say to people no matter what's going on, no matter how hard it is for you, you should communicate with the people that you love every day that you possibly can, if it's no more than hello, if it's no more than to just to say goodnight. I wish I would have called.

We talked everyday. We laughed, we joked with one another, we were friends, we were comrades, we were business partners; he was a soldier, he was my friend. [b]Gerald was a very sensitive, very emotional kind of person, and when you challenged his thinking and his ability, he had a tendency to go over the edge a little bit. Then he'd calm down and ask you your opinion.

We have a book coming out on Father's Day. The book is really about family values and how we've dealt with adversity, how we've dealt with celebrity ... just being in the music business and all the trials and tribulations that you have to go through. It's called "I Got Your Back." Ironically that title for me, at the moment, I think that I should have had his back, I should called him. I think that that's one time that I slipped up and I didn't really have his back when I should have.

I miss just laughing with him. We would laugh at one another, and just say silly things to one another. We would just laugh until it hurt, and he would finally say to me, "I'm not talking to you anymore because you are a silly man and I am hanging up on you!" I miss those conversations. I miss those kind of things.

He never knew just how much he meant to the music business and the fans, he never knew how big he was because he wanted to be the Justin Timberlakes ... the Ushers ... and he never felt like he was being accepted in that form. But I used to tell him, "G, what you are doing is not a flavor of the month, you're not just going to be passing through here, you're living in these people's homes, you are living in their everyday life ... you are forever." The outpouring of love that all of these people gave him on the day of his memorial, it was truly gratifying to see all of that, and it just let me know that he didn't live his life in vain. They truly loved him, and they still truly love him.
There's not a day that goes by that I find that it's so unreal that I can't get up and pick up the phone and call him and talk to him, to me that's just so unbelievable, that he's someplace now that the trials can't call him, the troubles can't find him. I just pray that I'll get a chance to see him again, and see that great big smile, and be able to laugh with him again, and be able to get that great big hug. I truly miss him, and that's no joke. He was my heart. I have a big hole in my heart, and it's going to be a long time to close it up."

I so feel for his dad and I can understand when you didn't carry out something that you felt may have made a difference. Like that phone call, or sending a letter, or saying something little like "I love you" and then the next minute you no longer have that opportunity.

I wasn't a big fan of Gerald's but I did know he had a great voice and some powerful songs. RIP

LQ