"Who the hell does Justin Timberlake think he is? I've only just heard his recent single (several weeks after every idiot in the world ran out and bought it, it seems), and according to the lyrics, he's bringing sexy back. That's what he says, bold as brass. "I'm bringing sexy back," he moans, with a meerkat grin on his fizzog, like he's in charge of the world's sexy resources, the cheeky bastard.

I mean Jesus Christ, Timberlake: sexy isn't something you can withdraw from the market then subsequently revive, like Texan bars or Prime Suspect. No. It's an amorphous concept which means different things to different people. There's no regulatory body monitoring its supply, Opec-style - and even if there was, no one would put you in charge of it anyway, you snide, self-satisfied, stinkarsed, jiggling little stoat.

How Dare he? Genuinely - HOW DARE HE? How DARE this dot-eyed, crop-haired, fun-sized, guff-tongued, pirouetting waif-boy scamper on to the world's airwaves and loudly proclaim to be the sole global administrator of all things sexy? You'd think it takes massive balls to do something like that, but given the shrill, squeaking vocals cheeping through his ghastly little gobhole, it's safe to assume he's got testes the size of capers. He's practically a human dog-whistle, the shreiking, high-pitched, mosquito-lunged ponce.

And wait, it gets worse. Having declared himself the Lord of All Sexy, the lyric goes on to decry the rest of us mere mortals as being somehow not up to scratch. And he calls us bad names while he's doing it! First he says "them other fuckers don't know how to act" - which translates as "everyone in the world, with the sole exception of myself, is a clueless fornicator". Then he threatens us, using language so offensive it pains me to reproduce it here (and
while I apologize for any offence it may cause, I think it's important to quote him in full, if only to bring home the full import of his disgusting slurs). "You motherfuckers watch how I attack," he says. Out loud, right there, on the record.

Yeah, that's right: Justin Timberlake just called EVERYONE LISTENING TO HIS SONG a motherfucker!

It could be you, it could be me, it could be your four-year-old nephew - he treats us all with the same high-handed revulsion. Can you believe the nerve?

Incredibly, he's not through with us yet. In the very next line, he clearly states his intention to meddle in the private affairs of others. "If that's your girl you'd better watch your back," he tweets. Why Justin? What are you going to do? Knife me in the spine and rip her dress off in front of me? I wouldn't put anything past you by now, you hateful, preeping maniac. Sod
putting out a single - our mere existence evidently sickens you to the bone, so why don't you just kick our doors in. burn down our homes, blast us with a shotgun as we crawl pathetically from the flames, and have done with it?

He should be jailed for saying stuff like this. Gagged and manacled and hurled into the deepest darkest dungeon imaginable. A cell so small they have to snap his skeleton in half in order to fit him in. And the moment the door slams shut, the whole thing should be soundproofed, sealed and bombed into a million bits.

Justin Timberlake? Justin Piss, more like."

(As written by not Prince and not me...)

but I can't figure out how this is "P's sexyback putdown part II"
[Edited 9/15/06 14:05pm]

mrsquirrel said:

I have NOT laughed this hard in quite a while. THANKS.

Shorty said:

Prince, in a rare break from his usual media indifference, took a couple of minutes to speak to our 'E!' reporter, and this is what he had to say...
[Edited 9/15/06 14:32pm]

mrsquirrel said:

ahh..nice connection.
hey..I feel too!

Prince didn't say that though.

PS, Justin sure brings sexy back (at least to the TOP charts, a place Prince can only reach by tricking the charts) and has a GREAT live band.

~grin~

HamsterHuey said:

Well it ought to be, he hired two or three of P's old band members

Prince is a bitch...he may be a musical genius but hes a whinny little bitch too.
who cares if just has a song called sexyback. chill the fuck out and make music better than 3121 dude, lol

mrsquirrel said:

What an accurate physical description.

I want to refer to him as The Lord of All Sexy from now on.

all i have to say is that his new album is great!!!!! but one song is totally an homage to Prince

hmmm.. what a stupid topic.


i'm fucking serious

HamsterHuey said:

It's a temporary fling , just as so many artists have peaked @ # 1 .
Prince has been musically @ places where Justin can only reach by tricking his crotch .

Whateverthestoopidcomparisonsfuckever

TheBoyfromtheBand said:

Yeah , the everlasting & pathetic curse an artist has to live with ... judged for one's last creation only .

Sdldawn said:

I am fucking loving you.

100MPH said:

Sure, Prince still lights up the world with big massive hits. Common, Prince has been there, give the youngsters some of the spotlight.

I actually do not like the entire new Timberlake album, but the good songs are amazing.

Which is not something I can say of Prince's latest. I actually do not like the entire new Prince album, but the good songs are fun.

HamsterHuey said:

No problem with that ... only with irrelvant comparisons

HamsterHuey said:

I personally always take one's artists' overall career in retrospective than judging on their last creation only
Hits & misses are human .
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[Edited 9/16/06 2:44am]

100MPH said:

sure, only Prince's last real hit takes us a long time back!

abierman said:

The Most Beautiful Girl In The World.

The Last Big Prince Hit Of Last Century.

HamsterHuey said:

how old was JT back then???

HamsterHuey said:

Yeah , but hit's & misses are just one side of the story (imo ).
By his retrospective i mean how has experienced by taking ( commercially ) risky paths ( The Rainbow Children ) .
Apart from the subjectiveness if people like it or not , he took that road by doing what he felt to do personally , which speaks more volumes to me than chart-statistics only .
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[Edited 9/16/06 3:24am]

Just know I myself do not care about charts, I always think it funny that people judge a person's musical worth by their ability to be in the charts.

Most of the artists I love will never be on those charts and maybe that is why I like them so. But I am not blaming people to be sell outs if they DO rock those charts.

I sure do love my pop songs, from the first Sugababes hit to Justin TImberlake's stuff. I just hate it when people slag him off for being succesful, then comparing him to Prince, wtf?

I blame people's need to put everything in nice corners to make info easier to process. But the truth is that Justin did not call himself a MJ or Prince wannabe; he is just inspired by these people's music.

We kinda forget Prince was labeled a young Stevie Wonder with his first two albums and a new Rick James with his third. I hope the record co's give TImberlake some time and space to grow.

HamsterHuey said:

Indeed it's a same ol' same ol' issue that will grow back as a parasite from time to time .

I kind of understand people needing to label everything in life, but I just do not understand their need to crucify others by those standards.

Its all a load of

HamsterHuey said:

I don't crucify them , just think in my own right that they have a narrowminded view .

I have a feeling if Justin was selling less, getting no airplay, and had nothing to do with Janet Jackson a lot of people would be kinder to him on this forum

His new album is great for what it is. I don't think he's procclaming himself as the new MJ/Prince musically. Though image wise, his MJ schlick with Like I Love You on his last album was fucking annoying.

The one thing that Justin said that was annoying to me though was his statement, "if i don't help move pop music forward than who will?" Well for starters Nelly Furtado just released a decent pop album also using Timbaland as key producer. I'm sure the mainstream wouldn't suffer without Justin.

That being said we can't put Prince and Justin in the same package obviously. Prince is at the point in his career where he doesn't need any hits or radio play to prove anything. Not that he ever did, he was always a brilliant musician with or without his success.
But Justin's very livelyhood in the music industry relies on whether his song goes to #1 and his album sells 700k opening week.

jayaredee said:

But Prince was in that position too at more than one point in his career. But he got big in the time when artists were pushed onto the market differently by TOTALLY different media.

I think it is doubly unfair to youngsters these days becuz they do nopt get the chance to develop. They are pushed to score and when they do not, they are unceremoniously dropped.

At least Prince was dropped after MANY struggles, not just ONE.

Too funny!!

I don't get it.

minneapolisgenius said:

I guess it's a sarcastic reaction on all the numerous P/JT-comparison threads .
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[Edited 9/16/06 6:28am]