10:33 est 12Dec. 2005

I get the call from command central, RS Mag, "Dee, listen, we got the green light for the Interview with the V.H. Bros., what with all this Roth & Sammy's Cabo Wabo press Ed really wants to talk, but listen, watch your ass because He sounded lit when We spoke, so.... I interrupt" I know, I know how He can get don't worry I know how to handle this I'm your Man, trust me!" Now my mind is reeling, My hero Eddie wants to talk with me exclusively, but this can be a tricky one if not handled properly.

The brothers V.H. can be a handful especially if Ed is drinking again. The last time I walked out of Val's house Ed was saying with much glee "Hey Man, One Day at a time while smiling like the Devil and looking at Val and then bursting in a fit of laughter, looks at Me and says "Fuckin ironic huh" to which Val leaps at Him and proceeds to punch Him right in the mouth! I knew the marriage was way on the rocks. Now, I arrive at Lax at 2:13 am PST, I fumble around getting my luggage and hustle to the gate, walk out into the crisp L.A. air when out of the corner of my eye I see Ed leaning on his burgundy 911 Turbo all the while yelling at a security guy at the door "Yeah, right at least I have a gun puss-bag" Ed shouts.

One thing about Ed, He is a true R&R rebel, with this hatred toward any authority figure, even a airport security type. Again my mind reels. Now he is without Val and who knows where His head could be at this point in His Life, after all, it had been many years since I last hung out with Ed and a lot has happened. But I'm going head first into what could be a storm of stellar proportions!" Hey Ed, how are ya, long time" I utter. I see He is still pissed about what ever went down with the security guy. "Fuckin’ dildo”, He thinks He's a cop, and tells me not to park there, I shoulda kicked Him in the nuts" says our hero! "Good to see you too ,Man" Ed says Don't mind me I've got a lot on my head man....sorry. No problem I retort. We proceed to drive to Villa La Val up the through the winding drive We go, while Ed is Hitting speeds of light & scaring my bladder, I think again here I go, part elated to do the interview, another part of Me scared of the V.H. Boys, Ed has already started His crap & reeks of liquor, Al on the other hand is always nuts...period!

As alot runs through my head, I don't realize We are in the living room of the house. Ed turns to me "Dee, ya wanna drink" I reply "after that ride, yeah make it 2 or 3 He laughs wildly, picks up the phone and calls someone and is speaking in a different language "Das veen der bla bla bla" is what it sounds like to Me, O-no it's Dutch! which means one thing only...AL! Next thing I hear is a scream of tires outside like a plane landing. It's Al in His Ferrari F-40, which is this close to a plane! Now I sit While Al & Ed Speak loudly in their native Dutch tongue which is never-ever a good sign in this place! Their cadence varies from what sounds like anger to joy and all points in between. It is getting spooky, I'm outnumbered by two wild angry Dutchies, and I don't know what lies around the corner! Al walks up to me extends His hand and gives my hand a squeeze , and you could hear the ligaments & bone cracking in my hand, must be the strength from the sticks I think." Al How you doing? I say" Same @!#$ different singer' He bursts, laughing. I said" what you guy's get another singer?" With this He runs toward Ed who is mixing a drink and replies" Yeah, right here! I'm gonna squeeze Ed's balls so hard and long He'll be singing all night"! They laugh together. I'm not amused but chuckle.

Ed walks back in with a pitcher full of Vodka & something I couldn't quite make out. Al say's "ever play Quaters Dee? I said yes, wrong answer I learned later. Ed chimes in " Every 15 minutes you down this - holding up a 16oz glass of Vodka & whatever, get it Man Quaters of an hour" I said yes I got it and said what about the interview? "@!#$ it, Ed says. "Like a whore, it will come" We laugh, but inside I'm freaked because when it comes to drinking they're serious as hell and they really want me to drink 16ozs of liquor every 15 minutes, I might not wake from this! Well, we start drinking and 2 hours in I'm whacked drunk and the Brothers are still chatting about this and that jumping from English to Dutch so frequently it feels like I'm on drugs not alcohol and I tell Ed this and He and Al bust into guffs of insane Demonic sounding laughter." Nothing like a peyote tea and vodka huh?" Oh no, did He say friggin' peyote? Now I'm trippin' drunk. And they cackle over there about things like "that Bitch" and" high jumpin'-hair weave talk-shows hosts" a lot I cannot piece together, as I am lit up from the spiked cocktails. At one point I see a picture of Val with a target on her head with real bullet holes in it. I think maybe I saw that, possibly not as my eyes feel like their bleeding! Ed & Al begin to look real freakish, like I can't explain.

Next thing I believe, they are rolling on the ground screaming things so foul and twisted that I cannot even dream of repeating! They were like pirates with a land pass...crazy! I found myself waking up to a staggering Ed hovering over me with a cigarette hanging from his lip , but it was one long ash and still burning and he mutters "fucking hammer on and pull it off" I sit up and say "Yo Ed I don't go that way man" shaking in my seat. "No, No, He says I'm taking the tap @!#$ here, you know hammerin' on" I sat back and exhaled Whew! He was talking guitar tapping! Ok I said you know Ed there was a guy in Pasadena that was supposedly doing that back in67, that's what Blackmore said "What black whore, who what?" He shot back "Richie Blackmore...you know Purple?" Oh, @!#$ that voodoo limey fuckhead" He's got a hair up His ass...always had one for Me, jealous douche, yeah Him and Joe Perry...hate me more than Bonnie Hunt - that other one!" Oh I tapped a vein here I thought. "One day at a time...Hah...@!#$ me!" He snaps. Well this was going just peachy, I think he’s right where we left off from years before, was I dreaming or what? Pt.2 coming soon... "Stay tuned"as Ed would later

prndc33 said:

damn. how "out there" is that? Who spikes drinks with peyote?

Heard a drunken radio interview with EVH (one of my geetar heroes) last year. It was sad - even sadder that the hosts were laughing at him, not with him...I wish him well.

Crazy.

Sad actually.


I had no idea that they still spoke Dutch though.