50-40
http://music.aol.com/home...der/rock-6

http://music.aol.com/home...der/rock-5
39-30

29-19
http://music.aol.com/home...der/rock-4


18-10
http://music.aol.com/home...der/rock-3

09-03
http://music.aol.com/home...der/rock-2 <----Prince mention at #7

02 & 01
http://music.aol.com/home...der/rock-1

1. - really this should be SAMPLING, but lack of knowledge is up there, too. However, the reasons they cite for "kids today" are completely moronic - it should be THEY DON'T KNOW THEIR SHIT.

9. - at first I thought this said WHITNEY, and I was wondering if vainandy compiled this list. But then I realized that if he had, she'd be #1

And what about "DRUM MACHINES THAT SOUND LIKE A PLASTIC CAFETERIA FORK SLAPPING COLD OATMEAL"
[Edited 5/3/06 8:35am]

#41: MELISMA

It's a fact: Words like "girl" and "baby" do not have 25 syllables. But thanks to that R&B-spawned, 'Idol'-promulgated school of vocal histrionics -- wherein one overdoes gospel ululations like Whitney Houston with a noseful -- neither the shortest word nor sweetest melody can go unmolested by a uvula-spazzing "showstopper."


THANK YOU.

Anx said:

Co-sign .... Most of the things on this list are SO true but one feature I especially liked: Scott Stapp's Top Meltdowns..... Sample meltdown: Punches a Florida nightclubber who told him he “should have stuck with Pearl Jam”

AIDS
Although it was responsible for many deaths (Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E among them) and inspired one of the most insipid hits of the past three decades ('That's What Friends Are For'), the most significant musical damage done by the AIDS virus came with the subsequent demonization of sex and drugs, two ingredients without which rock & roll becomes practically pointless -- if not impossible.
WOODSTOCK 99
The lineup was bad enough -- a lame attempt at multi-culti harmony mixing patchouli-soaked pied pipers (RUSTED ROOT) with brain-dead alpha males (INSANE CLOWN POSSE). When the event got going, the second sequel to the Summer of Love quickly degenerated into an ugly free-for-all of sexual assault, arson, ODs -- and $6 pizza slices. No wonder those ATMs were looted.
HIP HOP VIDEOS
We get it.

Your ride is pimped, your crib is a castle and at the drop of an ice-encrusted hat, you can have tons of scantily clad ho's pouring bottles of Cristal down your gullet while you kick it in the hot tub. Congratulations to a generation of hip-hop video directors for making decadence seem so … boring.
LIGHT AIRCRAFT
The first day the music died, it took BUDDY HOLLY, RITCHIE VALENS and The BIG BOPPER with it. The next day it took country star PATSY CLINE. And then JIM CROCE, half of LYNYRD SKYNYRD, STEVIE RAY VAUGHAN, JOHN DENVER and AALIYAH. There is, it seems, a good reason the tour bus is such a popular transportation option.
KEVIN FEDERLINE
Golfing and wifebeaters? Whatever. Multiple baby mamas? Hey, do your thing. Even the rapping isn't that bad. But snatching away our favorite pop star -- that cannot be forgiven. Two years ago, BRITNEY SPEARS was America's sexy sweetheart, then the ex-backup-dancer pounced, and it was bye-bye 'Toxic,' hello diapers and Cheetos.
THE AGE OF 27
For most of us, the Bermuda Triangle of morbidity lies between the ages of 50 and 53, after which, if you dodge cancer, heart disease and other bullets, you'll probably live for decades. For rock stars, the year to fear is 27 -- the checkout date for JANIS JOPLIN, JIMI HENDRIX, JIM MORRISON, KURT COBAIN, BRIAN JONES and blues legend ROBERT JOHNSON among others.

Honorable mentions to NICK DRAKE (at a wizened 26) and TIM BUCKLEY (at a boyish 28) -- who were, after all, eccentric.
FINDING GOD
Once the Big Guy gets under an artist's skin, the work tends to suffer. AL GREEN went from making the sexiest music known to man to making gospel albums known to nobody. MASE quit hip-hop for the ministry, and when he returned, his skills didn't come with him. The less said about BOB DYLAN's born-again albums the better, but the idea of Jehovah's Witness PRINCE proselytizing door-to-door in purple pumps still brings a smile. Esther, née MADONNA, caused quite the mishegas by hopping aboard Kabbalah's Judaism-meets-New-Age-hooey bandwagon. And CAT STEVENS loved Islam so much, he named himself after it when he converted and then quit the music biz in 1979.

Silly rock stars -- you're supposed to be the ones being slavishly worshipped!



SO SO SO SO TRUE!!!

Anx said:

Oh c'mon. You gotta loves dem R&B crooners keeping the Gregorian chant tradition in at least that sense alive. Keeping it real 4 mah monks.

Novabreaker said:

when i can't listen to one of their albums, i just go set off a car alarm.

#31-Jazz Fusion?!! GET THE F**K OUT OF HERE!!!
[Edited 5/3/06 10:30am]
[Edited 5/3/06 10:35am]

I thought lising Kevin Federline was pretty fun. They should give the man a chance before they slag him off that way.

Kevin Federline should be a hero to music lovers everywhere. If he's keeping that talentless, empty, checkout girl in superstar's clothing frump away from her "music" then he is nothing short of a saviour. All hail Kevin!

Co-sign

whoknows said:

Wow, I never thought it that!!

All hail Kevin indeed

Actually the number one worst thing that happened to music? Prince got older.....

Graycap23 said:

damn, are you saying he aint got it no more?

kisscamille said:

you guys are cold...what if he's a musical genius? better than the purple one?
[Edited 5/3/06 15:10pm]

VoicesCarry said:

I refer to snares like that as baby beach sandpail taps.

JazzyJ said:

haha I know. But the entry is so ridiculous it made me laugh. I love jazz-rap, jazz-funk, etc!

Actually, that's very close to what I used to call her before I started calling her "Shitney". Yeah, she's always been and always will be at the top of my list.....that little #%&^^% @#$%& *&%$#@!!!!!

VoicesCarry said:

This part however, is dead on...

When we wanted to steal the new URIAH HEEP album, we couldn't just troll the Internet for it, we had to do it the old-fashioned way -- by hiking to the store (uphill, both ways) and shoving 12" of vinyl under our sweaters...

...Don't ask me how I know.


tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431

dancerella said:

Ha...Prince will ALWAYS have "it".

I had to shoplift LL Cool J cassingles

we had a guy at school who would barter with us for shoplifted cassettes. he offered to give me a copy of that aerosmith album with the trucks having sex on the cover if i drew him a picture of that iron maiden monster. i politely declined.