The only lyric I don't like in the song is "my life would be purposeless without you."


Eveything else is fine.

The difference between this song and the 1950's oppressive male-centered atmosphere is that these women have choices and don't have to cook, clean, and care for their men unless they want too.

And because they love these men, they understand that intimacy is in small gestures.

Ever had a lover brush your hair?, not because you couldn't do it, but because grooming is such a very personal gesture that conveys a lot of sweetness. Relationships are made rock solid on such sweetness (I used to watch my uncle come home from a hard day at work and collapse on the floor at my aunts knees. She would take his shirt off and rub his shoulders. Then fix him dinner. That image can still bring a tear to my eyes. Seeing that definitely affected how I comfort a man. I've had one man tell me as he lay in my lap and I carresed his chest with one hand and rubbed his hair with the other "You sure know how to make a man feel good." )



We're talking not about how men and women should in general behave toward one another -- this song is not a footnote to the struggle between the sexes -- it's about a woman intimately catering to her one lover.


I like the lines about rolling over when the man comes home and keeping the figure right. This is how a man gets P-whipped so he won't be putting his nose (and his dick) elsewhere.

I think I'll make my future husband profess to keep his figure right. People gotta keep their shit together and not get all lax. Nothing wrong with that.


And, DC has said the album is like a story of love. Over the course of the songs, we see the women flirting, finding, and getting to know a man (Lose My Breath, Soldier), falling in love, becoming sprung (Cater to Me, T-Shirt), then realizing they are in too deep and making bad decisions for a no-good man (Is She the Reason, Girl), then they have to pry themselves away from the relationship (Bad Habit, If) and find themselves again (Free, Through With Love) and then engage in a healthier relationship (Love).


If you consider the entire story that's told over the album I don't think it contradicts their independent woman image at all. And I don't think girls will be negatively affected. The album clearly teaches girls to give your all in love if a guy is worthy, but if he isn't fall back on your girls, find your strength, and move on.

I love it.

An intense love requires some catering... keep in mind she screams at the end of Cater that the man is "such a good man." So, I'm sure he deserves whatever he's getting.


Women who don't want to do small gestures like fix dinner for their mates or put their do rags on ... will eventually be left to wonder where the intimacy went and why their guy if fucking someone else who's catering to him.


Neo-feminism is surging right now. Women have seen society change underthe pioneer feminists and know there is not now as GREAT a war between the sexes as there was before. So, modern women interpret the gender equality struggle differently.

Don't get me wrong... there is still war (I mean just look at the misogyny in hiphop) but that war doesnt' have to be fought in the bedrooms ... I mean unless you want your man to leave...
[Edited 7/24/05 13:42pm]

Young women singing that their lives would be utterly purposeless without their men, and basically presenting themselves as having no needs of their own, is damaging to young girls.

I work with teenage girls, and I die inside a little bit every time one of them starts singing or listening to this song.

FunkMistress said:

The saddest part of all of this are young folks (male or female) that have "Pop Songs" as their only frame of reference for how to live their lives in the first place.


tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm

SynthiaRose said:

What he gonna do for me?

Stymie said:

A lot. Or else you'll walk out. If he's not a good man, he doesn't deserve catering.


And I'll tell you guys something else ... with so many people laboring under the FALLACY That black women aren't supportive to their men in relationships and don't know how to comfort a man witohout being bitchy and prickly... I'm glad they did this song.