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Thread started 07/06/05 9:30pm

isthisdadawn

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Luther, weight, and sexuality

With Luther's passing, I have recently been thinkin' about the man and his life...

Over the past few days I have seen and read numerous interviews & the pieces of who he was seem to be fittin' 2getha.

Having heard that Luther lost and gained in excess of 100 pounds, eleven times..I see now there is more to the weight then just a love of food.

The life long bachelor is what one journalist had to say about Lutha..This man whom sang thru. two decades of baby making..a life long bachelor? Ironic yes, but also deeply saddening. Could it be that Cupid himself was loveless?

In all my deep pondering, I now come to understand that Luther's sexuality may have been his downfall. Countless yrs. of rumours regarding his love life may now prove to be true. After all, this is the same man whom sung "Our secret...why can't we tell somebody..a secret love never lasts as long honey" (with a video to accompany..portraying two men in tuxedo's.. holding hands in hiding) How could this crooner, a legand come out to his heterosexual, largely african-american audience w/o alienating everything he ever sung. I mean, all this shame, hiding..it had to somehow surface..and for Luther I believe it came across in weight.

In the end, I hope that Mr Vandross had the love that he so often sang about. A love so amazing. As he was an amazing human being.

[Edited 7/6/05 22:49pm]
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Reply #1 posted 07/06/05 10:19pm

paisleypark4

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isthisdadawn said:

With Luther's passing, I have recently been thinkin' about the man and his life...

Over the past few days I have seen and read numerous interviews & the pieces of who he was seem to be fittin' 2getha.

Having heard that Luther lost and gained in excess of 100 pounds, eleven times..I see now there is more to the weight then just a love of food.

The life long bachelor is what one journalist had to say about Lutha..This man whom sang thru. two decades of baby making..a life long bachelor? Ironic yes, but it also saddens me. Could it be that Cupid himself was loveless?

In all my deep pondering, I now come to understand that Luther's sexuality may have been his downfall. Countless yrs. of rumours regarding his love life may now prove to be true. After all, this is the same man whom sung "Our secret...why can't tell somebody..a secret love never lasts as long honey" (with a video to accompany..portraying two men in tuxedo's.. holding hands in hiding) How could this crooner, a legand come out to his heterosexual, largely african-american audience w/o alienating everything he ever sung. I mean, all this shame, hiding..it had to somehow surface..and for Luther I believe it came across in weight.

In the end, I hope that Mr Vandross had the love that he so often sang about. A love so amazing. As he was an amazing human being.

[Edited 7/6/05 21:33pm]


Woah omg


Wow man, that was pure! Yeah Luther had a beautiful voice. I wish i knew all the uptempo music he has nod he preoduced Aretha's "Get It Right" album, which was good...I heard he gave her a hard time, or she gave him a hard time making it.


On the sexuality part, yeah I believe he was gay, I don't think it would have fitm well with the lady fans, because that was most his fan base. He could'nt possibly do anything like that, nor would even eye had wanted him to come out like that.

But that doesnt matter 2 me. He was / is a legend.
Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records.
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Reply #2 posted 07/06/05 10:31pm

purplecam

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isthisdadawn said:

With Luther's passing, I have recently been thinkin' about the man and his life...

Over the past few days I have seen and read numerous interviews & the pieces of who he was seem to be fittin' 2getha.

Having heard that Luther lost and gained in excess of 100 pounds, eleven times..I see now there is more to the weight then just a love of food.

The life long bachelor is what one journalist had to say about Lutha..This man whom sang thru. two decades of baby making..a life long bachelor? Ironic yes, but it also saddens me. Could it be that Cupid himself was loveless?

In all my deep pondering, I now come to understand that Luther's sexuality may have been his downfall. Countless yrs. of rumours regarding his love life may now prove to be true. After all, this is the same man whom sung "Our secret...why can't tell somebody..a secret love never lasts as long honey" (with a video to accompany..portraying two men in tuxedo's.. holding hands in hiding) How could this crooner, a legand come out to his heterosexual, largely african-american audience w/o alienating everything he ever sung. I mean, all this shame, hiding..it had to somehow surface..and for Luther I believe it came across in weight.

In the end, I hope that Mr Vandross had the love that he so often sang about. A love so amazing. As he was an amazing human being.

[Edited 7/6/05 21:33pm]

Wow, that was deep but I don't doubt any of this. I do believe he was gay and because of the society we live in, there would have been a backlash, especially in the African American community and that's disgraceful IMHO. I wish that if that was who he was, he could have come out but it was his choice not to and that was fine as long as he decided that and it wasn't outside of his control.

Food can be used to fill a void in one's life and I could see Luther possibly using food as a way to have the love that he wanted for himself. Like was isthisdadawn said, I too hope that in the end, Luther got the love he most definetly deserved to have. He certainly gave us love with the music he shared with us. God Bless Luther Vandross.
I'm not a fan of "old Prince". I'm not a fan of "new Prince". I'm just a fan of Prince. Simple as that
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Reply #3 posted 07/06/05 10:41pm

GangstaFam

Beautiful post.
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Reply #4 posted 07/06/05 10:47pm

isthisdadawn

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GangstaFam said:

Beautiful post.


Thank U wink
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Reply #5 posted 07/06/05 10:49pm

paisleypark4

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isthisdadawn said:

GangstaFam said:

Beautiful post.


Thank U wink

wit cho handsome self, come 'ere u! hug
Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records.
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Reply #6 posted 07/06/05 10:50pm

purplecam

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GangstaFam said:

Beautiful post.

I agree. Thanks for writing this.
I'm not a fan of "old Prince". I'm not a fan of "new Prince". I'm just a fan of Prince. Simple as that
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Reply #7 posted 07/06/05 10:52pm

squiddyren

Very nice post. R.I.P., Lutha'. pray
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Reply #8 posted 07/06/05 11:11pm

GangstaFam

Mods, please let this thread stay open.
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Reply #9 posted 07/06/05 11:18pm

Anxiety

GangstaFam said:

Mods, please let this thread stay open.


no worries. i think it was a really touching thought.
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Reply #10 posted 07/06/05 11:34pm

isthisdadawn

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Thank u for your comments y'all..keep'em coming..

Luther a.k.a. Ronzi's death has really affected me and I just had to speak on him. The person.

[Edited 7/6/05 23:34pm]
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Reply #11 posted 07/07/05 12:28am

UncleGrandpa

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The up and down weight issue was to me one of the worst issues he had to suffer during his career, and looking back on it now, it sometimes took attention away from his music. To my knowledge, Luther was one of the most well known male celebrities to go through the weight gain/loss dilemma ( I'm not saying he was bulimic ), and when he was seriously thin, that led to those terrible AIDS rumors about him in the 80's.

I don't want to make any comments about his sexuality, since he can't defend himself anymore. Even if all of his tendencies led one believe he was gay, unless there was actual proof, I don't think it's fair to speculate that he was. I don't believe that his female fans would have been negative or abandoned him were he to come out during his life, his music was good enough to overcome the bias against homosexuality. It would not have bothered me at any point of his career, all I would have to do is listen to Superstar, Any Love, Creepin' and Always & Forever , and everything would be OK.

Unless I am not paying close attention, I don't see enough dedications to him on TV nor have I heard ( at least in my area ) many radio programs that played him continuously after his death. Of all the music greats that have passed in this time ( Rick, Ray ), I am really missing Luther the most. I'll say this again, May GOD be with his mother and family during this time. He will be missed.
Jeux Sans Frontiers
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Reply #12 posted 07/07/05 6:51am

OdysseyMiles

I honestly never cared about his weight or his sexuality. There were times when I actually thought he'd gone overboard and was a little too thin, but for the most part I was happy for him whenever he appeared to be healthy and happy.
One of my favorite Luther periods was when "Power of Love" came out. He was looking good and sounding amazing (as always). He was performing on television a lot, and winning all kinds of awards. I finally felt like Luther was getting some well-overdue props. He seemed really happy during that time and I was happy for him.
My brother used to rag on me sometimes, like; "you know your boy is gay" but I didn't care. My boy was the best at what he did, and his impression on me as an artist and a songwriter helped me to continue to grow and progress in my own art. I'll always love Luther for that.
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Reply #13 posted 07/07/05 6:55am

GangstaFam

Anxiety said:

no worries. i think it was a really touching thought.

thumbs up!
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Reply #14 posted 07/07/05 7:04am

paisleypark4

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UncleGrandpa said:

The up and down weight issue was to me one of the worst issues he had to suffer during his career, and looking back on it now, it sometimes took attention away from his music. To my knowledge, Luther was one of the most well known male celebrities to go through the weight gain/loss dilemma ( I'm not saying he was bulimic ), and when he was seriously thin, that led to those terrible AIDS rumors about him in the 80's.

I don't want to make any comments about his sexuality, since he can't defend himself anymore. Even if all of his tendencies led one believe he was gay, unless there was actual proof, I don't think it's fair to speculate that he was. I don't believe that his female fans would have been negative or abandoned him were he to come out during his life, his music was good enough to overcome the bias against homosexuality. It would not have bothered me at any point of his career, all I would have to do is listen to Superstar, Any Love, Creepin' and Always & Forever , and everything would be OK.

Unless I am not paying close attention, I don't see enough dedications to him on TV nor have I heard ( at least in my area ) many radio programs that played him continuously after his death. Of all the music greats that have passed in this time ( Rick, Ray ), I am really missing Luther the most. I'll say this again, May GOD be with his mother and family during this time. He will be missed.

BET showed his last interview with them, his Walk of fame and a video collection. No other channel has yet 2 care enough.

i wish I saw that oprah interview.
Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records.
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Reply #15 posted 07/07/05 5:10pm

Nick715

That was a very touching post.

Love you Luther.
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Reply #16 posted 07/07/05 7:41pm

sosgemini

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i think the media (and most of the public) accepted his fate a long time ago..he recieved a lot of attention right after his stroke....


and he just seemed to fade away.....


so long ole man. thanks for the memories.
Space for sale...
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Reply #17 posted 07/07/05 9:20pm

PleasurePrinci
ple

great post.i do believe he was gay 2.i saw an interview on BET w/him talkin about his weight issue and it was sad how ashamed he would get neutral
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Reply #18 posted 07/07/05 9:43pm

sthom146

His weight was indeed a struggle. And in our society there is so much focus on every pound gained or loss. I even remember back in the day people claiming that the "fat" Luther sounded better than the "thin" Luther. WTF?!?!?!? Anyway, I'm sure he was under tremendous pressure. As for his sexuality, I personally believed he was gay, and so did many of my friends, who were also huge Luther fans. But he seemed to have a sort of "asexual" quality also. I mean, I never heard anyone say "Ooh, Luther's so cute...or so fine, even after he lost a great deal of weight. He seemed to be like everybody's friendly big brother who happened to sing extremely well. Folks got off on his "baby-makin'" music, but the man himself seemed sort of invisible. He is a great talent who will certainly be missed.
Damn this kooky love affair....
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Reply #19 posted 07/11/05 11:47am

isthisdadawn

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sthom146 said:

His weight was indeed a struggle. And in our society there is so much focus on every pound gained or loss. I even remember back in the day people claiming that the "fat" Luther sounded better than the "thin" Luther. WTF?!?!?!? Anyway, I'm sure he was under tremendous pressure. As for his sexuality, I personally believed he was gay, and so did many of my friends, who were also huge Luther fans. But he seemed to have a sort of "asexual" quality also. I mean, I never heard anyone say "Ooh, Luther's so cute...or so fine, even after he lost a great deal of weight. He seemed to be like everybody's friendly big brother who happened to sing extremely well. Folks got off on his "baby-makin'" music, but the man himself seemed sort of invisible. He is a great talent who will certainly be missed.


I totally agree.. he did seem like everybody's big brother..

He also mentioned in a interview that you could tell how his personal life was going by his weight...

Lutha man, I miss u
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Reply #20 posted 07/11/05 1:30pm

jjhunsecker

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UncleGrandpa said:



I don't want to make any comments about his sexuality, since he can't defend himself anymore. Even if all of his tendencies led one believe he was gay, unless there was actual proof, I don't think it's fair to speculate that he was. I don't believe that his female fans would have been negative or abandoned him were he to come out during his life, his music was good enough to overcome the bias against homosexuality. It would not have bothered me at any point of his career, all I would have to do is listen to Superstar, Any Love, Creepin' and Always & Forever , and everything would be OK.


I'm not sure that I agree with this. Because Luther's audience was primarily female, and his forte was romantic ballads, I'm sure many of his listeners felt that he was "singing just to them". Even though they knew there was no real chance of ever hooking up with him, he was the romantic ideal to his fans This type of bond goes beyond merely appreciating the quality of his voice. That's why he probably felt he could never "come out". I remember when Johnny Mathis announced he was gay, several of my mother's friends were disillusioned, because they felt while he was supposedly singing to a woman in the lyrics of his songs, he probably was thinking of a man.

This is why most Hollywood leading men who are gay do not come out . Several of them have gotten married to preserve the charade . The female fans want to maintain that illusion .
#SOCIETYDEFINESU
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Reply #21 posted 07/11/05 10:07pm

isthisdadawn

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jjhunsecker said:

UncleGrandpa said:



I don't want to make any comments about his sexuality, since he can't defend himself anymore. Even if all of his tendencies led one believe he was gay, unless there was actual proof, I don't think it's fair to speculate that he was. I don't believe that his female fans would have been negative or abandoned him were he to come out during his life, his music was good enough to overcome the bias against homosexuality. It would not have bothered me at any point of his career, all I would have to do is listen to Superstar, Any Love, Creepin' and Always & Forever , and everything would be OK.


I'm not sure that I agree with this. Because Luther's audience was primarily female, and his forte was romantic ballads, I'm sure many of his listeners felt that he was "singing just to them". Even though they knew there was no real chance of ever hooking up with him, he was the romantic ideal to his fans This type of bond goes beyond merely appreciating the quality of his voice. That's why he probably felt he could never "come out". I remember when Johnny Mathis announced he was gay, several of my mother's friends were disillusioned, because they felt while he was supposedly singing to a woman in the lyrics of his songs, he probably was thinking of a man.

This is why most Hollywood leading men who are gay do not come out . Several of them have gotten married to preserve the charade . The female fans want to maintain that illusion .


I agree.. Luther's main audience was the women he crooned too...

If he had come out, they would have all thought it was an act.

Even thou'.. I think most suspect him..they would rather be in denial.

In the end..it doesnt matter..but he wouldnt have been the legend he is if he spoke about his personal life in detail.
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Reply #22 posted 07/11/05 10:22pm

purplecam

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This is what made Luther da man. He knew how to keep his personal life personal and how to be professional at all times. I think that if he wanted to come "out" he would have done so but he chose not to do so and there was nothing wrong with that as long as there was no pressure from outside sources making him say nothing.

Another thing about Luther is that he had a mystique about him that is still going on after death and when I look at it, it's actually great. That why I love Prince so much, he still has the mystique around him. No one out there today has that because they expose so much about themselves and as a result they get boring very quickly. Luther never bored me and this is more proof that there will never be another Luther Vandross. Never.
I'm not a fan of "old Prince". I'm not a fan of "new Prince". I'm just a fan of Prince. Simple as that
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Reply #23 posted 07/12/05 5:03am

NPD313

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I believe Luther was gay...After reading interviews and watching them on T/V.
It seemed very true that he was indeed gay.

I enjoyed ur post "isthisdadawn".
As a gay man...I'm not sure how it would have affected an entire community who loved a man who was so legendary in r&b music.

Luther could sing his heart out!
I do believe he had his secret love...and no matter what Luther will be missed.
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Reply #24 posted 07/12/05 5:07am

Cloudbuster

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rose
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Reply #25 posted 07/12/05 9:25am

Harlepolis

I remember a BET interview with him in the mid-90's I think where he was asked about him being "in the closet".

He gave the camera this str8 up sharp direct DEAD look and said "my sexuality is my life and my life is my own. There's no 1, 2 matter in this subject".

He seemed pretty fed up in that interview as a whole.
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Reply #26 posted 07/12/05 10:22am

muttley

Has anyone here ever heard of Fonzi Thornton?

It seems that Mr. Thornton, was one of his closest friends and confidant, and was by his bedside when he passed. At the DetroitYes.com website, there is a long discussion on how Fonzi will cope with the loss..... eyepop hmmm


Mutts
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Reply #27 posted 07/12/05 10:59am

uPtoWnNY

muttley said:

Has anyone here ever heard of Fonzi Thornton?

It seems that Mr. Thornton, was one of his closest friends and confidant, and was by his bedside when he passed. At the DetroitYes.com website, there is a long discussion on how Fonzi will cope with the loss..... eyepop hmmm


Mutts


Wasn't Fonzi Thorton involved with the group Chic? I knew Luther sang background for Chic, maybe that's when they met.

As for Luther's sexuality - don't know don't care. It doesn't diminish my respect for the brotha.
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Reply #28 posted 07/12/05 12:48pm

VelvetJ

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isthisdadawn said:

With Luther's passing, I have recently been thinkin' about the man and his life...

Over the past few days I have seen and read numerous interviews & the pieces of who he was seem to be fittin' 2getha.

Having heard that Luther lost and gained in excess of 100 pounds, eleven times..I see now there is more to the weight then just a love of food.

The life long bachelor is what one journalist had to say about Lutha..This man whom sang thru. two decades of baby making..a life long bachelor? Ironic yes, but also deeply saddening. Could it be that Cupid himself was loveless?

In all my deep pondering, I now come to understand that Luther's sexuality may have been his downfall. Countless yrs. of rumours regarding his love life may now prove to be true. After all, this is the same man whom sung "Our secret...why can't we tell somebody..a secret love never lasts as long honey" (with a video to accompany..portraying two men in tuxedo's.. holding hands in hiding) How could this crooner, a legand come out to his heterosexual, largely african-american audience w/o alienating everything he ever sung. I mean, all this shame, hiding..it had to somehow surface..and for Luther I believe it came across in weight.

In the end, I hope that Mr Vandross had the love that he so often sang about. A love so amazing. As he was an amazing human being.

[Edited 7/6/05 22:49pm]


In all that has been said about Luther over the past week on different outlets, I think this was the most moving and probably the most true. isthisdadawn, thanks so much for posting.

In most cases, excessive weight has little to do with actual food, and in Luther's case, I'm almost sure it may have been from a combination of lonliness, sadness, insecurity, and fear.....all somehow connected to his sexuality. If Luther was indeed gay, think about the pressure on him. He was in the public eye, his mother is an evangalist, he knew that the African-American Community as a whole do not sit very well with homosexuality, and he couldn't openly date, or hold someone's hand without the media finding out and possibly ruining his career. I don't think our society and especially our black community is as accepting of gay black men as most would like to think. There is a attitude of "Luther can be gay but he better not admit it".

There are a number of black celebrities that I think everyone really know are gay but are cool with it as long as they don't say they are. A few RnB crooners from the 80's, a couple of female rappers, a few actors, and a few athletes here and there, I think are all accepted as gay, when it's not actually said. I also think those celebrities know being quiet about it is probably the wisest thing to do, so they will deny it, or play word games when asked the question, or worse, have to get married to try to squash the questions about their sexuality.

I also have seen interviews with Luther and knew he was very insecure about his weight and would act in extreme measures from time to time to avoid dealing with it. That's why I think Luther was sad when he was overweight. With so much pressure, food is almost a guaranteed pleasure one can escape to. That pleasure can temporarily distract from reality or reward you for having to deal with such a challenging life.

Anyway, like it was said before, I hope Luther was able to enjoy the type of Love he sang so well and passionately about.

Long Live Luther Vandross.
I am convinced Beyonce's career would not be where it is, if she had dark skin.
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Reply #29 posted 07/12/05 3:06pm

PrettyMan72

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VelvetJ said:

isthisdadawn said:

With Luther's passing, I have recently been thinkin' about the man and his life...

Over the past few days I have seen and read numerous interviews & the pieces of who he was seem to be fittin' 2getha.

Having heard that Luther lost and gained in excess of 100 pounds, eleven times..I see now there is more to the weight then just a love of food.

The life long bachelor is what one journalist had to say about Lutha..This man whom sang thru. two decades of baby making..a life long bachelor? Ironic yes, but also deeply saddening. Could it be that Cupid himself was loveless?

In all my deep pondering, I now come to understand that Luther's sexuality may have been his downfall. Countless yrs. of rumours regarding his love life may now prove to be true. After all, this is the same man whom sung "Our secret...why can't we tell somebody..a secret love never lasts as long honey" (with a video to accompany..portraying two men in tuxedo's.. holding hands in hiding) How could this crooner, a legand come out to his heterosexual, largely african-american audience w/o alienating everything he ever sung. I mean, all this shame, hiding..it had to somehow surface..and for Luther I believe it came across in weight.

In the end, I hope that Mr Vandross had the love that he so often sang about. A love so amazing. As he was an amazing human being.

[Edited 7/6/05 22:49pm]


In all that has been said about Luther over the past week on different outlets, I think this was the most moving and probably the most true. isthisdadawn, thanks so much for posting.

In most cases, excessive weight has little to do with actual food, and in Luther's case, I'm almost sure it may have been from a combination of lonliness, sadness, insecurity, and fear.....all somehow connected to his sexuality. If Luther was indeed gay, think about the pressure on him. He was in the public eye, his mother is an evangalist, he knew that the African-American Community as a whole do not sit very well with homosexuality, and he couldn't openly date, or hold someone's hand without the media finding out and possibly ruining his career. I don't think our society and especially our black community is as accepting of gay black men as most would like to think. There is a attitude of "Luther can be gay but he better not admit it".

There are a number of black celebrities that I think everyone really know are gay but are cool with it as long as they don't say they are. A few RnB crooners from the 80's, a couple of female rappers, a few actors, and a few athletes here and there, I think are all accepted as gay, when it's not actually said. I also think those celebrities know being quiet about it is probably the wisest thing to do, so they will deny it, or play word games when asked the question, or worse, have to get married to try to squash the questions about their sexuality.

I also have seen interviews with Luther and knew he was very insecure about his weight and would act in extreme measures from time to time to avoid dealing with it. That's why I think Luther was sad when he was overweight. With so much pressure, food is almost a guaranteed pleasure one can escape to. That pleasure can temporarily distract from reality or reward you for having to deal with such a challenging life.

Anyway, like it was said before, I hope Luther was able to enjoy the type of Love he sang so well and passionately about.

Long Live Luther Vandross.


Excellent Post. thumbs up!
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