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Hilarious review of R. Kelly's newest turd. TP.3 RELOADED BY R. KELLY / JIVE
by Nekesa Mumbi Moody Associated Press On R. Kelly's last album, "Happy People/U Saved Me," which was released after he was hit with child pornography charges, R. Kelly chose a family-friendly, spiritual vibe — praising the joys of God instead of his usual wild sexual shenanigans. With his new disc, Kelly will have plenty to repent for. If you thought the man who came up with such freaky songs as "Bump 'N Grind" or "Ignition" (on which he compared lovemaking to driving a car) couldn't come up with anything wilder, listen to "Sex In the Kitchen." "Remote Control" continues his penchant for comparing sex to machinery — "baby push enter, then fast forward," he croons on one delightfully naughty track. "Put My T-Shirt On" sounds like a reply to Destiny's Child's pillow-talk slow jam "T-Shirt," but of course Kelly ratchets up the foreplay and a whole lot more (take that, Jay-Z!) — never has a white T sounded so erotic. The disc is weakest when Kelly tries to appeal to the fellas with thug anthems like "Players Only" with The Game. But for all the sex talk, Kelly's best effort is the five-part serial drama "Trapped in the Closet" (a bonus DVD includes the music video). The songs tell a dramatic story about an episode of infidelity that has a ricochet effect, touching several different people and leading to dramatic confrontations that are hilarious and riveting at the same time. Even after hearing the "Trapped" songs a dozen times, they're still stirring, demonstrating Kelly's amazing ability to draw in listeners with either raw sex grooves or musical cliffhangers. It's hard to imagine any other artist, in any genre, with such a gift. 
I cannot believe this shit. MsLegs should have written this review, I tell ya. | |
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VoicesCarry said: Even after hearing the "Trapped" songs a dozen times, they're still stirring, demonstrating Kelly's amazing ability to draw in listeners with either raw sex grooves or musical cliffhangers.
It's hard to imagine any other artist, in any genre, with such a gift. Single(s) of the year! | |
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VoicesCarry said: TP.3 RELOADED BY R. KELLY / JIVE
by Nekesa Mumbi Moody Associated Press On R. Kelly's last album, "Happy People/U Saved Me," which was released after he was hit with child pornography charges, R. Kelly chose a family-friendly, spiritual vibe — praising the joys of God instead of his usual wild sexual shenanigans. With his new disc, Kelly will have plenty to repent for. If you thought the man who came up with such freaky songs as "Bump 'N Grind" or "Ignition" (on which he compared lovemaking to driving a car) couldn't come up with anything wilder, listen to "Sex In the Kitchen." "Remote Control" continues his penchant for comparing sex to machinery — "baby push enter, then fast forward," he croons on one delightfully naughty track. "Put My T-Shirt On" sounds like a reply to Destiny's Child's pillow-talk slow jam "T-Shirt," but of course Kelly ratchets up the foreplay and a whole lot more (take that, Jay-Z!) — never has a white T sounded so erotic. The disc is weakest when Kelly tries to appeal to the fellas with thug anthems like "Players Only" with The Game. But for all the sex talk, Kelly's best effort is the five-part serial drama "Trapped in the Closet" (a bonus DVD includes the music video). The songs tell a dramatic story about an episode of infidelity that has a ricochet effect, touching several different people and leading to dramatic confrontations that are hilarious and riveting at the same time. Even after hearing the "Trapped" songs a dozen times, they're still stirring, demonstrating Kelly's amazing ability to draw in listeners with either raw sex grooves or musical cliffhangers. It's hard to imagine any other artist, in any genre, with such a gift.
I cannot believe this shit. MsLegs should have written this review, I tell ya.  VC, you got that right. Lord knows, if they'd let me review Chester The Molester, I wouldn't have held nothing back and told it like it is and been more raw instead sugar coating things like this broad did thats for sure.[Edited 7/16/05 10:53am] | |
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| @ the thread title!
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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