The first corny song lyric that comes to mind, for me, is the line, "She's as heavy as a chevy", from the song "Mislead" by Kool and the Gang. Heavy as a chevy? WTF? Need to come up with some more after some further thought. What are some corny lyrics that come to mind for you? Feel free to post them here.

My all time so-bad-they're-good lyrics: 'That was then but this is now' by ABC.



I was going to post just the 'apple crumble' line (you have to hear the way it's sung to really appreciate it), but the whole song's so corny... I just hope they were trying to be ironic.
[Edited 6/21/05 8:07am]

ABC - is that the group from the 80's?

Lionel Richie - "dancing on the ceiling"

What is happening here?
Something is going on
That’s not quite clear
Somebody turn on the light
We’re gonna have a party
It’s starting tonight

Oh, what a feeling!
When we’re dancing on the ceiling
The room is hot...that’s good
Some of my friends came
By from the neighbourhood
People were starting
To climb the walls
Ooh, it looks like everybody
Is having a ball

Everybody starts to lose control
When the music is right
If you see somebody hanging around
Don’t get up right
The only thing we wanna do tonight
Is go round and round
And turn upside down
Come on, let’s get down

So come on, let’s get loose
Don’t hold back
Because it ain’t no use
Hard to keep your feet on the ground
Because when we like to ball it
We only want to get down
What? you say what?
It’s love now...
Just get started
Everybody clap your hands, come on
Everybody have sense...




in fact, MANY of Lionel's post-Commodores lyrics are CRAP.
not to mention the cheesy, CROSSOVER music..

Hey mltijchr, how are ya (besides hating Lionel Ritchie's post-Commodore songs)? Just teasing.

hey delicide..
I'm cool, trying to keep my head above water
& when I get a LITTLE
time, I come over & hang out on the org for a minute..!

you cool these days?
your work situation?
(dare I ask??)

i like Dancing on The Cieling

mltijchr said:

Glad to hear you're doing well. Finally working again, found a job after being out of work for like 9 months.

yonipuja said:

Hey, you leave ABC alone! They fucking RULE!

Xavier23 said:

Video is funny as fuck. The bit when Lional goes "say what?" like a hoochie is fucking hilairious.


Tommy page "i'll be your everything" proberly is one of the corniest lyrcially and production wise

"So long that I've waited for a girl
To come into my life
And in my world
I can't explain my feelings for you
I guess you're just all my dreams come true
And I'll be your lover (Your lover)
And I'll be your best friend (Ooh, I'll be your friend)
I'll be there when you're needing me (When you need me)
I'll be your everything
You're everything

Chorus:
I'll be your everything
I'll be all that you want
And all that you need
I'll be your everything
I'll give you all that I have
My love, my life, and me
I'll be your everything

Now that we're together at last
We shouldn't think about our
Problems in the past
'Cause true love takes a miracle to find
I guess that I've been blessed
'Cause I've got you by my side
And I'll be your lover (Your lover)
And I'll be your best friend (Ooh, I'll be your friend)
I'll be there when you're needing me (When you need me)
I'll be your everything
Your everything

When you're lost and you're down
And you're seeing darkness
And there's no one there that can be found
Just turn around
I'll be there holding out my arms for you
Just reach for me
I'll be the one to set you free

I'll lift you up when you're feeling down
I'll make your whole world turn around
I'll give my heart and soul to you
To let you know this love is true"

Also Stevie B "because I love you"

The Night by The Jam:

Travel the night, thousands of lights to show us the way,
Me and my mates will have a good time in the amusement arcade.

BTW, ABC's apple crumble lyric IS one of the worst ever! LOL

pacey68 said:

Never heard that Jam song.


And what did I say about dissing ABC?

Oooh, gold lamé and a floppy fringe... must have been a hit with the ladies.

And here's some of the other ABC boys


Mr. Sax doesn't look too happy with the costume.

[Edited 6/23/05 0:54am]

"tasted your teardrop stains...yeah"---from "Fire and Desire" by Rick James and Teena Marie (1981)

"though your girlfriend is a friend of mine,here's my number and a dime,call me anytime"---from "Call Me" by Skyy (1981)


Never mind the fact that she is shamelessly dogging her own friend...lol...but why does she have to give him a dime?? Is he that cheap?!

The first one that comes to mind is a country song from the early 1980s. I don't know who sings it but it is called "Swinging".....

Little Charlotte, she's as purty as the angels when they sang, I'd like to see her on the front porch in a swang.....just 'a swangin'.....swangin'.....she was just a swangin'.....swangin'.....

Davideye!
I get your point on "call me"..
but my guess is that
it rhymes better with "dime" & "time"
that it would with.. I don't know..


"here's my number & a dollar
I can make you holler.."
(actually, this 1 isn't THAT bad..)

or

"here's my number & a quarter
call me when you're shorter"

or

"here's my number & a nickel
call me when you're in a pickle" or "call me when your girl gets fickle"

or

"here's my number & a penny
call if if you want 'any' "
(though of course here, it would be better to say "if you want 'some'..")

or

"here's my number & a 50-cent piece
call ME, not my 16-year old niece"


well.. you get my point, Davideye!

The reason for using the word "dime" instead of "dollar", "quarter", or even "nickel" is because the man would have to get in touch with her. If he's going to cheat on his girlfriend, he couldn't call the other woman from his home phone so he would have to go to a pay phone. Pay phones costed a dime back then.

I think David is laughing at the fact that the man should have his own dime.

DavidEye said:

Lyrics like that were scandalous and classic and the same time.

yonipuja said:

I remember those suits from the Shoot The Poison Arrow video. Lawd, the lyrics were just as corny.

"Who Broke My Heart? You Did. You Did. Straight From The Start. Cupid Cupid. Shoot That Poison Arrow To My Heart."
[Edited 6/23/05 7:58am]

hm, interesting how some of y'all here are "critical" of some/all of ABC's lyrics.. maybe some of their lyrics are "cheesy" or "corny"
(I've only really heard 2 or 3 of their albums)
but I think they've written several clever lyrics. to wit :


Date Stamp

This hearts up for sale
Yeah, this hearts on the stand
Mix and match and melt in my mouth
Nothing ever goes quite as planned
You fly north and Ill sail south


So redevelop product
Redesign this package
Still refuse to reach in your pocket
Everything is temporary written on that sand
Looking for the girl that meets supply with demand


chorus:
Love has no guarantee
(yes Im date stamped)
Promise me eternity
(guess Ill fade away)
Even with a pedigree
(yes Im date stamped)
Love has no guarantee


That hearts on display, yes, that hearts off the rails
A ship in the harbour with wind in its sails
Chain up love inside the chain-store girl
Chain up love and exchange it


Is monsieur a connoisseur or just short-changed?
Off the rack or custom-fit it all seems the same
Look but dont touch in paradise
Dont let them catch you damaging the merchandise


chorus


I get sales talk from sales assistants
When all I want to do girl, is lower your resistance
Everything is temporary, written in the sand
Looking for the girl that meets supply with demand


Love has no guarantee
Brings out the woman in me
Even with a pedigree
Love has no guarantee


No chance of subtlety
No promise of eternity
Even with a pedigree
Love has no guarantee




that "sales talk from sales assistants" is my favorite line in the song.
they could have written about "frustrating love" or "unrequitted love" using any other of the hundreds of clichés that exist, but they put a little "twist" on it by using some retail/marketing expressions.. that do eventually.. get "stuck" in your head..

PLUS this song has a FUNKY bassline in it!

then for the GOLD SUITS..
I
would wear 1 of those.. ANY DAY.

DavidEye said:

Hotlegs said:

Actually, I like that song. Not so much the words, but the melody. Used to have that song on a 45 back in the day.

"Got me hoping you page me right now..."
-Beyonce Knowles

"this shit is bananas... b-a-n-a-n-a-s"


Pop music is taking its last gasp of breathe.. what next..

NWF said:

Ha ha! I actually like ABC. Lexicon Of Love is a classic but come on you gotta admit those lyrics are terrible!
The Night was B side of Down In The Tube Station At Midnight and written by Bruce Foxton. Shame on you Bruce!

pacey68 said:

Hey, you won't get an argument there. These guys were part of the catchy 80's Pop movement.

here ya go....

"Two scoops of sugar,baby
Sugar and spice everything nice
SQUASH IS DEFIED-make up your mind
To find what the chef's been cookin."


can someone PLEASE tell me how in the hell you defy squash?