SHIT..can't believe I forgot about THE D!!


TENACIOUS D:

Tribute
Explosivo
Fuck her gently

"All The Way Lover" by Millie Jackson (1977)


those of you who are familiar with her work,you will understand


"your man be layin' up there with two strokes going for him
Up...and down....ain't never heard of a curve unless it was on a ballfield"

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because...

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!



and...

Homer:
"Around the house I never lift a finger!
As a husband and father i'm sub-par.
I'd rather drink a beer
than win 'father of the year' -
I'm happy with things the way they are."

Lisa:
"I'm getting used to never getting noticed."

Bart:
"I'm stuck here 'till I can steal a car."

Marge:
"The house is still a mess,
And I'm going bald from stress"

Bart, Marge, & Lisa:
"But we're happy, just the way we are."

Ned:
"They're not perfect,
But the Lord says "Love thy neighbour.""

Homer:
"Shut up, Flanders."

Ned:
"Okely-dokely-do."

Bobbins:
"Don't think it's sour grapes,
But you're all a bunch of apes,
And so I must be leaving you..."

TheFrog said:

TheFrog said:

Wrong forum:


Mods, please move to "Politics and Religion"

Hell yeah! Millie loves to talk shit. My favorite is "Give It Up".

"Ladies, if you don't give it up, what you gonna do with it....let it dry rot? Well I understand that this is Hollywoood and women's lib is in....well, women's lib and the gay movement. Woaah! I need to be trying to talk to y'all. Y'all want a little peter this morning. This is your turn to sing....sing it....(a gay man in the audience sings...."Give it up right now, give it up, goddamn, give it up"). Ladies, looks like y'all done lost again."

In another part of the song, she looks at a lady in the audience and says "Looks like you're holding on to him kind of tight. Shit, I might have to ask him for some myself".

sit on my face and tell me that you love me

prinssi said:

Aah, you beat me to Monty Python.

So let's add The Lumberjack Song...

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars?????

CHORUS

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

CHORUS

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaayyy.....




tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm

theAudience said:

Okay, this one definitely is not my favorite, but does anyone remember "Fly Tetas" by Jose Chinga? Finess and Miguel might be the only ones.

vainandy said:

Millie is my girl for sure.

sextonseven said:

Holy Crap!!! I think his name is Johnny Chingas (a play on words Ya Ni Chingas, which means basically "someone that bugs the shit out of you")

He also had a song called SE ME PARO. Funny as hell. I was in junior high when it came out. I'm going to have to look for these.


M

The Walk by Morris Day & The Time

"Everybody Walk Ya Body. Everybody Walk."

vainandy said:

"You're gonna have yourself a case, I'm gonna break your face".

I love that crazy ass woman. She's like our local answer to Millie Jackson. I saw a Denise LaSalle DVD last weekend. I've got to pick this one up.[/quote]

Vain, when you mentioned Denise LaSalle, I thought about another one of her classic hilarious jams. One of my favorites is "Your Husband Is Cheating On Us."

Your Husband Is Cheating On Us By Denise LaSalle

"Hey Lady. Your Husband Is Cheating Us. I know you thought you hand a good man. A man that you could trust."
[Edited 6/21/05 11:10am]

Oh I have to add "Moviestar" as well.

"Are you wearing that Paco Rabbane or whatever you call it?!"

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

"The worst tetas are the ones with hair on them." My friend had the 12" which definitely said Jose Chinga on it so I don't know if it's the same person. This was around 1988.

minneapolisgenius said:

Nice assist...soulmate.


tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm

sextonseven said:

it was on "Bassment" records.. and "Chocha Beach"
[Edited 6/21/05 11:51am]

Another Man by Barbara Mason is another good one. Not straight out comic, I guess, but the subject matter and her approach to it is hilarious.

theAudience said:

Thanks.

TheRealFiness said:

My bad. The song I mentioned, Se Me Paro is Johnny Chingas he's on a Oldies compliation.
http://www.softforall.com...0I0RY.html

It's weird that he's on this album though because it is funny and very explicit.

M
[Edited 6/21/05 13:20pm]
[Edited 6/21/05 13:20pm]

vainandy said:

Millie is outrageous! I love her

I love that one! It has kinda the same subject matter as Millie Jackson's "Fighting Chance".

Another good one by Denise LaSalle is "Don't Mess With My Man". In this song, she is married and has a man on the side. She's telling all the women to leave her man on the the side alone.....

You can have that no good husband of mine, but please don't mess with my man.

David Geddes, "The Last Game of the Season (A Blind Man in the Bleachers"
David Geddes, "Run, Joey, Run"
Cam'ron, "Hey Ma"
LaToya Jackson, "Heart Don't Lie"

Who's Making Love By Johnnie Taylor


"Who's Making Love To Your Old Lady While You Were Out Making Love?"
[Edited 6/22/05 12:01pm]