What did the woman on the beach say to MJ??? Stay out of my sun???

I can see this thread being around for a looooong time

oh lord....did you make that one up?

This was big back in 1995. After the recording session for "You Are Not Alone," do you know what MJ and R. Kelly did? R. Kelly asked MJ if he wanted to go pick up some hotties. MJ said, "Sure," so they hung out at the kiddie playground. R. Kelly hit on all the little girls, and MJ hit on all the little boys.

how did MJ get food poisoning????? from eating a 9 year old wiener....

I love Michael Jackson, his family got class, i was hooping and hollowing when i seen all them come out of courtroom even for latoya. Prince and MJ are masters at what they doing. All u people making jokes, i bet when he go on tour u would be the first in line trying to get tickets.
[Edited 6/14/05 7:38am]

saintsation said:

"Maybe he should move to Belgium."

saintsation said:

Not unless someone pays me. But here's another...

Why did MJ go the department store?
He heard boys pants were half off.

"Hey, Mike! Now that you've been acquited, whattya gonna do?"

"I'm going to Disneyland!"

From something called pasteeaters.com

Michael Jackson Jokes
Q. Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over a balcony?
A. Because he overheard his wife asking someone to drop the children off a few
stories.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing”.

Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers have in common?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!

Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A. Michael Jackson has had more noses.

Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson’s house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!

Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.

Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little
friends leaves?
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.

Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you’re in my son.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry groceries.

Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop!

Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand!

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!

Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing coke.

Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor started?
A: The Ignited Negro College Fund!

Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!

Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.

Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up
to become a rich white woman in Europe.

Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"

Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing -- no kids!"

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.

Q. What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
A. "Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own."

Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug
rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!

Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.

Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A. Boys 'R Us.

Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
A. He can lick any kid on the block.

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Little boy blue!
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!

Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg and
started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "Screw the children!"
Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?"

A little boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God a male or a female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both a male and
a female."
This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks,
"Is Michael Jackson God?"

Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have
sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years
old.

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more
allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make
him a priest.

Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
People get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson

Ooo a sour grapes thread.

Ha!

Marrk said:

For others, maybe. I'm glad he got off. Never thought he was guilty in this case. The mother was a proven liar, and the kid's testimony contradicted itself.

On the other hand, I simply like jokes, and this guy's "lifestyle" is ripe for them.

Let the MJ jokes end.

eugnj420 said:

Carry on. doesn't bother me. Heard 'em all before.

feeling kinda bulletproof for some reason or other. Bring it!
[Edited 6/14/05 11:53am]

Marrk said:

Than you must have Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon.

eugnj420 said:

I don't like u people who talking about Michael Jackson like this but i think the jokes funny though.

BOO BOO BOO

I am a fan of MJ,but I still have a sense of humor.

This joke is from Conan O'brien.

"Michael Jackson is starting a new children's clothing line..if he is successful with girl's dresses[I can't remember if it was that] then he'll go into boys' pants"

eugnj420 said:

My fave MJ joke is by the english comedian Jimmy Carr, which went something like this:

'I don't know if Michael Jackson's guilty or not, but if I was a billionaire paedophile, I'd build a funfair in my back garden.'