hey

one more post today:
I always like an artist who can add a joke or a funny comment to a performance or an interview, etc...What are the funniest remarks you heard some performers make? here r a few I remember:

1. from the Cash/nelson vh1 storyteller cd

Willie is talking about the song familie bible
Willie: It starts like this (plays guitar)
Cash: Then what happens?
Willie: It goes into an F-minor
Cash: I figured it would...I'll just look at my watch during that segment.

2. from the same cd:
Cash: Can I have some water?
Willie: Sure...we got water,...coffee and hot chocolat...What is gonna happen to our image!?
Cash:...as long as we keep wearing black i think we'll be alright

3. From a marilyn manson interview disc:
Reporter: "...halfway through the show you pick up your microphonestand and throw it at you drummer?"
Manson: I was trying to hit Courtney Love who was standing backstage

My signature.

When Whitney Houston was on an awards show a few years ago and she introduced her husband, Bobby Brown, as "the greatest R&B singer of all time".

vainandy said:

I loved when she announced TLC as the winner of some award for Waterfalls, "WAHFOW! WAHFOW!"

"Thank you for honoring me with the MTV Artist of the Millenium-Award"

Michael Jackson - waving a birthday cake-ornament.

When Michael Jackson said that he and Lisa Marie actually did sleep together.

On Mariah's Cribs when she's on her fainting couch and said, "I have a rule against sitting up straight. I prefer to lounge."

These may be scripted or ripped off, but some of the funniest ones have come from an unlikely source...



...David Lee Roth


"I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money."

"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass."

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it."

"People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the audience to the stage."

"An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance"

"It don't matter WHAT you're doin', just as long as you LOOK GOOD doin' it."

"It wouldn't be fair to compare my band of the future with something that belongs in the pasture."

"A lot of bands mature, which means they get square; they start delivering messages. Hey, you got a message, use Western Union."

"Audience participation should extend from on-stage to backstage to under the stage"

"People think I have this strange concept of women, but they're wrong. I'm a family-oriented kind of guy. I've personally started four or five this year already”

"I say to the guys in the band: "You know what Voltaire said?" They think Voltaire is an air conditioning company."

"A lot of people think that a VH tour is just one long orgy with a few stops on stage in between. Well, let me tell you - they're right."

"The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!"

"My visions and fantasies are pretty standard. The only difference is I got to do it, while most of us haven’t. Beyond that, I'm a pretty standard guy. Give me a gal with a sense of humor, acidic wit, who’s read a few books and has a body like a Swedish speed skater, and I'm quite content."

"After you take out the managers' percentage, the agents' percentage, the money for the roadies, the lighting, the trucks, the buses, the sound and everything, the most I'll probably see as far as money goes after it's all said and done, is...an island."

"There's nobody who can take my place in that band. There may be one or two who will try and make the effort. Just as there will always be champions there will always only be one ALI. I'm the front in Van Halen and I always will be the front in Van Halen."


My DLR favorite...

"The reason most music critics love Elvis Costello and hate Van Halen is because most music critics look like Elvis costello."



And the funniest one about DLR?...

"Right now, David Lee Roth is trying to convince some chick that he used to be the lead singer of Van Halen".
~~Butthead


tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm
[Edited 12/19/04 15:44pm]

Cher, on the subject of her plastic surgery: "If I want to sew my tits to my back, it's none of your buisiness."

vainandy said:

I think the "kang of R&B" line is more memorable.

GrayKing said:

I just tried to visualize that on Cher.....

GangstaFam said:

that's one of my favorites

Mariah, on lithium:

"Butterflies are always following me, everywhere I go."

Prince & Rosie: Tony, get on the mic

Mariah & Whitney at the '98 VMA's had the same thing off until they pulled off their own sort of "wardrobe malfunction" to reveal different skirts. i always cringe when i think about (but i'll always remember) Mariah saying "Try it onnn meh!"

GrayKing said:

Hey GrayKing, your avvie reminded me of when Bono said, "Continue to f&*k up the mainstream" on the Grammys during a live broadcast. It wasn't funny per se, but when you think about who might have been the first performer to utter the f-word on a Grammy night, you think GnR or Rage or Eminem or somebody like that, not Bono (but it was indeed Bono).

"Probation" hisssss. what does that mean?

GrayKing said:

You know it's your favorite thing ever. Don't even front!

Anything Harlepolis posts from Chaka Khan's lips.

She has the most hilarious comments I've heard so far (especially that one when she told Mary J she messed up on a song).

cher saying she's going to retire, then embarking on her perpetual "farewell tour".

SassyBritches said:

Now it's called, "Never Can Say Goodbye Tour '04".

VoicesCarry said:

"wu tang is for the children" - odb (r.i.p.)

"What's a matter Dick? You can't sing? That's ok neither can I and look at how far I've gotten." Madonna BAT tour Japan

Does anyone remember when Coutney Love was high and tried to start a cat fight with Madonna on MTV while she was being interviewed? That was too funny!

vainandy said:

What ever happened?I have only seen some footage of Courtney throwing a bottle or shoe at a podeium? You gotta love Courtney

twink69 said:

they ended up friends shortly afterward and hung out for a few years in the late 90's.

GrayKing said:

love how maddy left after she lost control of the interview

ehuffnsd said:

i don't. seemed like a definite changing of the guard, to me. and not in a good way. Madonna seemed like the up-tight rock/pop establishment being ruffled by an obnoxious upstart (a role she had held previously).

GrayKing said:

no... I just think Maddy knew from dealing with her bro Martin... that when the addict starts asking for attention you don't reward the behaviour... you move on and let them do their thing with out you.