Today is the day, 24 years ago, that rock music lost the best that ever was or ever will be – John Lennon. I remember it vaguely. I was 8 years old. I remember Mom telling me that John Lennon had been killed, and that both of my parents were upset and crying. He was 40 years old – younger than many artists in the prime of their career are today (Prince, U2, Bruce Springsteen, etc.)

It really hurts me to imagine the music he might have made over the last 24 years. 8 albums? 10? 12? The loss just cannot be measured.

I grew up listening to The Beatles. My parents were both huge music fans, and my dad in particular loved The Beatles. He was (and still is) a great guitarist. He played in a band throughout my childhood, and always had a great record collection. As a child, I was far more likely to be camped out in front of my parent’s record player listening to old Beatles albums than I was to be playing with toys. I did have toys, but I was more interested in books and, mostly, music. I wore out those old Beatles albums.

The Beatles started out as basically a straightforward, high energy rock/pop band. John started the band. It was his toughness that gave the band the edge. Paul was a brilliant musician and writer – breezily melodic, a flair for the perfect tune; but it was John that made The Beatles rock. It was John that started branching out in the songwriting, becoming more personal and introspective with songs like “In My Life” and “Norwegian Wood”. It was John that pushed the envelope and allowed the experimentation that would lead to the late-era Beatles’ triumphs, records that would change rock music forever.

Nearly every Beatles song is a classic. They are standards. Everybody writing or recording today in rock music was impacted by what John and his band did, either directly or indirectly. They changed the rules, they changed the industry. If John Lennon had not been born, what would rock and roll be like today?

Then The Beatles were finished, and John recorded his solo work. Too little. Fans yearn for every scrap of home recordings and every half-finished demo. Yoko Ono, knowing this, has dutifully scoured the vaults for every little tidbit that could possibly be released, but it is not enough. Just hearing the ghostly, beautiful song fragment that John left behind, “Free as a Bird”, which the surviving Beatles took and made into a completed track…. They had little more to work with than a half-finished lyric, a lovely lilting melody with gentle piano accompaniment sung into a tape recorder… and yet, it was John Lennon, and the world stopped when it premiered during The Beatles Anthology TV special. For me, anyway. A new Beatles song, after all those years.

Would John have participated in a reunion, all those years later? I’m guessing yes. Why not? All those years healed the wounds among the other 3, I can’t imagine John would have held out. New recordings, a tour even?

“Free as a Bird” was great, but it was only a painful reminder that it was the bottom of the barrel. There was no more to be had of John Lennon.

Why is it so hard for me to enjoy the classic Beatles songs, the Lennon solo work, the extensive home recordings and demos, etc., without thinking: what could have been??? It is sad and amazing to think how the actions of one person can affect so many people that grew up loving John Lennon’s music. And it’s more than the love of music, more than just 4 minute pop songs. It was about a whole era wiped away, a realization that maybe we are all naïve, and the realities of the world are always there to come crashing down and destroy what we love. For me personally, John’s death represents the frustration of not being able to do anything about horrible things that happen. And thoughts of mortality, of course. Even John Lennon can die. What a cheery thought for a Wednesday.


Watching the Wheels

People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing,
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin,
When I say that I'm o.k. they look at me kind of strange,
Surely your not happy now you no longer play the game,

People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away,
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me,
When I tell that I'm doing Fine watching shadows on the wall,
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball?

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
I really love to watch them roll,
No longer riding on the merry-go-round,
I just had to let it go,

People asking questions lost in confusion,
Well I tell them there's no problem,
Only solutions,
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind,
I tell them there's no hurry...
I'm just sitting here doing time,

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
I really love to watch them roll,
No longer riding on the merry-go-round,
I just had to let it go.

i'm choosing not to commemorate today because i'd rather focus my energy on his life and all the great music and ideas he created than his death and the ugly way it happened. still and all, i send warm vibes to all the lennon/beatle fans who are taking time out today to mourn and remember.

JonSnow said:

Beautiful words. I loved him too. He will remain in our hearts forever.

Anxiety said:

that's probably the best way to approach. today makes me very sad every year.