....has got to be one of the worst televised performances I've seen in the past year or so. A bunch of dudes prancing around, grunting unintelligble lyrics for 3.5 minutes while scantily-clad women prance around them to distract clueless teens from the horrible music.

Also one of the worst songs ever to hit #1, for sure.


[Edited 8/29/04 18:26pm]

How about providing WARNING updates as the VMA Pre-Show is just about to start here.

Based on your post, methinks i'll be watching the Olympic Closing Ceremonies...

...instead.

tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm

No, no you have to watch this shit. It's hilarious, it's so awful.

Especially the endless shots of brainwashed teenage girls swaying and singing along to the "lyrics" with their hands waving in the air.

Now here's Jessica Simpson giving the TWITCHIEST performance of the evening. Her head is jerking back and forth so much it looks like it'll pop off (oh, sorry Jessica, you're trying to emote, I mistook it for a seizure). Meanwhile, she keeps trying to hit notes, never quite getting there but amusing us along the way.

VoicesCarry said:

She sounded like Macy Gray for a moment there

VoicesCarry said:

Agreed. Shots of Shaq's fat ass induces vomiting.

Alicia Keys won best R&B Video over Usher. Ms. Keys wins worst actress of the evening as she feigns surprise (actually she looks more like she just wasn't paying attention, but whatever - nobody else was, really), then dives into a hilariously generic acceptance speech. The disconnect between Alicia's elegant dress and her apparent inability to string a simple sentence together also makes for fun.

Oh, and endless shots of André 3000 with a "WTF AM I DOING HERE????!!!" look on his face.

I think one of the reasons I don't get into award shows like I used to is because I always end up feeling embarrassed for some body.

UptownDeb said:

Yes, there's enough embarassment to go around for everyone.

VoicesCarry said:

OK but i'm sending you the brain damage repair bill!





tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...rmusic.htm

Oh, here's XXXXTina, determined to out-slut and out-scream everyone in the auditorium. She and Nelly (who is puzzlingly termed an "accomplished musician" by the announcer) take their "inspired" duet back to the '20s. That's right, Chrissy and Nelly are going to show Catherine and Renee how Chicago should really be done, but not before dragging the dancers from Janet's "Alright" video down with them.
[Edited 8/29/04 19:04pm]

lawd, i am so glad that i can only afford high-speed internet and not cable teevee to go along with it...

"Now, appearing on stage together for the first time in 5 years - Mase and P. Diddy!" elicits an audience reaction that would normally be reserved for Jesus appearing on stage with Mel Gibson.

According to LL Cool J, "what Marvin Gaye did for his generation, Alicia Keys is doing for ours" (WTF????), and Alicia is also apparently "an artist ahead of her time", despite the fact that she steals hooks and melodies right and left from old school soul.
[Edited 8/29/04 19:18pm]

Stevie Wonder completely blows Alicia out of the water.

VoicesCarry said:

it's official...emptee-vee is truly truly dead.

VoicesCarry said:

so...she still had the best performance of the night....

Rhondab said:

I can't disagree with that!

VoicesCarry said:

although...I think Kanye did make an attempt to have a 'performance' instead of just running all over the place. Hip hop performances are the worst....and Vivica Fox is just a damn Hoe anymore.....droppin' like its hot with lil jon...ugh

VoicesCarry said:

Stevie was in the middle of all that?????

Bruce Willis was feelin it though!

VoicesCarry said:

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[Edited 8/29/04 22:04pm]

Starmist7 said:

I feel ya.

About these awards:
1. Not having a host was terrific. Whether it's the Wayans Brothers or Chris Rock, hosts who reappear after every commerical break are annoying.

2. No podium for acceptance speeches and several groups performances in clusters one right after the other ... that created great energy.


3. Jay Z should have performed 99 problems!!!

4. It was cute when Jay Z yelled "whatup, bey?" and then when Beyonce won she said "whatup, Jay." Lovebirds. anyway ...

5. Christina was great and Nelly found a new rhyme rhythm that doesn't sound nursery rhymish. Good performance, actually.

6. I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHEN I SAW VIVICA DANCING LIKE A VIDEO HO!!! First of all Get Low is so demeaning to women I mean the lyrics go "until all these females crawl ... down skeez, skeez, skeez" I boil when I hear that damn song and there was Vivica. Dancing her ass to it and showing buttcheeks. (Will Smith was dancing to it (what?!) and Usher was too -- right beside his mama LOL)

Now Vivivca is a strong, tough woman character so I'm not really sure why she did this .... i hope not to get back at 50 ... I'm sure he could care less.


7. Why is Lean Back a song. Wasn't the end of Yeah sufficient. I mean Usher, Luda and Lil Jon successfully go there all the dances .. sending the clap, the muscle, and the rock away. (that dance sequence is actually my favorite part of the Yeah video and I was pissed it wasn't on Usher's CD). Fat Joe must have been pissed too, because he decided to write a WHOLE damn song on the rock away even though Usher had it all covered.


P.S. Someone please tell me if Nelly was really playing that piano. It looked like he was (!).
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[Edited 8/30/04 0:08am]