Here's a bit of what it's like for me...if anyone wants to respond, please be gentle because it's taken a lot for me to put this out here, I'm not given to letting people know who I really am nor how deeply I really feel about this.

Today, I had to make sure I didn't listen to any of his music nor think too much about him. I had an eye appointment at 1pm and couldn't walk in there with swollen eyes for obvious reasons. Right now, other people are around me. They are loved ones, they know how I feel about Prince and how badly his death hit me...but I've made a point of hiding how much it still is affecting me. I suspect my husband knows though because he knows me through and through and can see behind my "fronts". Tomorrow though...tomorrow, the people who do the lawn will be here but I don't have to interract if I don't want to (unless there is something about a project they will be doing for us), so tomorrow will be the day that I end up breaking down, the first time I can really let go since last Thursday. No one will be here until late afternoon, no one will see or feel uncomfortable when they see how sad I still am about all of this. I've held it in for almost a week. It's been difficult to say the least.

Things aren't as bad as they were, but the depth of my sorrow has taken me completely by surprise. I can sit here and cry silent tears for hours...they just run down my face, no sobs, no other sounds. As silent as Paisley Park has been since he left us

[Edited 8/2/16 15:38pm]

Mumio said:

Here's a bit of what it's like for me...if anyone wants to respond, please be gentle because it's taken a lot for me to put this out here, I'm not given to letting people know who I really am nor how deeply I really feel about this.

Today, I had to make sure I didn't listen to any of his music nor think too much about him. I had an eye appointment at 1pm and couldn't walk in there with swollen eyes for obvious reasons. Right now, other people are around me. They are loved ones, they know how I feel about Prince and how badly his death hit me...but I've made a point of hiding how much it still is affecting me. I suspect my husband knows though because he knows me through and through and can see behind my "fronts". Tomorrow though...tomorrow, the people who do the lawn will be here but I don't have to interract if I don't want to (unless there is something about a project they will be doing for us), so tomorrow will be the day that I end up breaking down, the first time I can really let go since last Thursday. No one will be here until late afternoon, no one will see or feel uncomfortable when they see how sad I still am about all of this. I've held it in for almost a week. It's been difficult to say the least.

Things aren't as bad as they were, but the depth of my sorrow has taken me completely by surprise. I can sit here and cry silent tears for hours...they just run down my face, no sobs, no other sounds. As silent as Paisley Park has been since he left us

[Edited 8/2/16 15:38pm]

Your in my heart xxxx Am not very good with words.

[Edited 8/2/16 15:42pm]

Guitarhero said:

Mumio said:

Here's a bit of what it's like for me...if anyone wants to respond, please be gentle because it's taken a lot for me to put this out here, I'm not given to letting people know who I really am nor how deeply I really feel about this.

Today, I had to make sure I didn't listen to any of his music nor think too much about him. I had an eye appointment at 1pm and couldn't walk in there with swollen eyes for obvious reasons. Right now, other people are around me. They are loved ones, they know how I feel about Prince and how badly his death hit me...but I've made a point of hiding how much it still is affecting me. I suspect my husband knows though because he knows me through and through and can see behind my "fronts". Tomorrow though...tomorrow, the people who do the lawn will be here but I don't have to interract if I don't want to (unless there is something about a project they will be doing for us), so tomorrow will be the day that I end up breaking down, the first time I can really let go since last Thursday. No one will be here until late afternoon, no one will see or feel uncomfortable when they see how sad I still am about all of this. I've held it in for almost a week. It's been difficult to say the least.

Things aren't as bad as they were, but the depth of my sorrow has taken me completely by surprise. I can sit here and cry silent tears for hours...they just run down my face, no sobs, no other sounds. As silent as Paisley Park has been since he left us

[Edited 8/2/16 15:38pm]

Your in my heart xxxx Am not very good with words.

[Edited 8/2/16 15:42pm]

Actually, you are really good with words GH. Thank you so much

I'm doing better. I was super depressed over it the other day and didn't really get out of bed other than to eat, use the restroom and take care of my dog. I had a small victory today when I listened to Diamonds and Pearls without crying my eyes out. I miss him so much and what gets me through is his music and you guys of course. I tend to read the funny topics on here more and I love reading everybody's memories of seeing him live or even meeting him since I never got the chance to experience that

Doing slightly better as time goes on. Still strange that we live in a world where he isn't alive and making/performing music.

terrig said:

Im just used to the hole in my heart now.

I'm back to normal mostly though the world seems much more dark.

Trying to create my own pockets of happy and am grateful for what was.

Yes, the world certainly feels less fun since he left. A lot less fun.

I think at first I was grieving the past, my own and his since he wrote the soundtrack to mine. So many great memories. Now, it feels more like sadness about the future in the way knowing something is really and truly over can feel. The worldwide tributes helped. This forum helps.

I'm pretty sure I've cycled through most of the 'stages of grief' to a place of gratefulness to have witnessed it all. The worst part was whenever I think about him dying alone - which I try not to think about much anymore (except of course now, writing this) since accepting there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it.&

So three months later I'm fine although after watching PR so many times that week in April I still cry at the title song. It gets me everytime. Oh, and the only music I've played since April 21st is his but I'm okay with that.
Hugs to all

[Edited 8/3/16 11:14am]

NinaB said:

XxAxX said:

we used to have a purple star twinkling on our horizon here in minneapolis but now the world is a lot less shiny. this summer just isn't feeling the same as the past 35 summers...

I've dreamed of visiting 4 sooo many yrs...now I don't want 2. It's all so strange.

i will forever have a closet full of special paisley park clothes for dancing and parties.... some unworn. i keep wishing for one more dance. one more album and a song..

XxAxX said:

After doing "When Doves Cry" for a lip sync gathering, I finally felt I had gotten past the rough spots of the previous 3 months. I'm now starting to listen to other music again, but I can't really talk to my friends or family about how big this loss is for me. I'll be at the memorial concert in spirit with you all.

selah said:

PurplePeace said:

Thought by this point that I would be doing better. Still haven't made it a day without crying. I have been hestiant to see a doctor but anti-depressants are likely for me.

I have so much responsibility in my life with four kids and a management job. This event has completely derailed me.

I just want my life on April 20 back. Things have not been the same since April 21.

I know I've already replied to this thread, but I wanted to add this:

I never understood why folks cried after the early deaths of some artists. I do now.

I am at the early edge of the Gen X -tag- end Boomer, grew up with Motown and Memphis Stax records soul, the raw Soul/Funk of James Brown, the sophisticated funk of Parliament/Funkadelic, the true R&B of EWF, the AM Radio Lite Rock of Queen, Chicago, the smooth Jazz of Steely Dan, Santana, Jean Luc Ponty, and the sound he created and made his own, our beloved Prince, I have cried in excess of 90 days.

There still is a hole in my creative heart. Help Me Lord Jesus.

I carry chalk around with me and write:

4 1 ANOTHER -

Whenever I find the right place. It washes off easily, reminds us what Prince's message

was/is and in some way honors his memory wherever I go.

Can't believe he is gone - a precious soul indeed. I miss our beloved Prince. Sometimes I have to think of him doing something ordinary like mowing the lawn, doing dishes or laundry because just the thought of that makes me laugh through the tears. 2 U all!

[Edited 8/2/16 21:41pm]

meagemini2 said:

I will never get over this.

I'm still in mourning over John Lennon's death.

meagemini2 said:

I carry chalk around with me and write:

4 1 ANOTHER -

Whenever I find the right place. It washes off easily, reminds us what Prince's message

was/is and in some way honors his memory wherever I go.

Can't believe he is gone - a precious soul indeed. I miss our beloved Prince. Sometimes I have to think of him doing something ordinary like mowing the lawn, doing dishes or laundry because just the thought of that makes me laugh through the tears. 2 U all!

[Edited 8/2/16 21:41pm]

Oh I love this idea with the chalk! I think how wonderful it would be to come across that message and plan to put some chalk in my bag today.

I understand about the laughing too. I've found the old (and some not so old) hilarious threads on this forum to be great therapy. Laughter through love right there.

He has been on my mind evey single day since he passed. I guess I've come to accept the fact that he is not here anymore, but it really bothers me the way it all happened.

Bad. It still feels so unreal that Prince is dead. The heart doesn't want to accept.

I feel sorry for those who have been so much affected by Prince's death. Time heals all wounds, they say, and in my experience (my mum died 9 years ago) this is fortunately the case. So I hope all of you will find peace with Prince's death.

For me personally, I am quite surprised how little Prince's death has affected me. I was hugely (and much to my surprise) hit by Bowie's death a few months before Prince went. And I wasn't even that much a fan of Bowie, not anywhere near my level of Prince fandom!! I just always liked Bowie's music and his persona but I didn't own any of his albums. I had just always sort of taken him for granted. And just when I was getting more interested in actually getting into his music, he died on me. That is how it felt at least, I was shocked and sad that I hadn't gotten into him sooner. For a week or two I could burst out in tears listening to his music at any moment.

I am known for being a huge Prince fan, but for some reason after like two weeks of disbelief/denial (and one cry moment when D'Angelo did his tribute) I already came to accept his death and was able to move on. I did listen to a lot of his music and watched many Youtube concert performances since his passing for about 6 to 8 weeks. But for me things are back to normal now, although obviously I am still sad that he died so young and likely unnecessarily.

I am still not sure why Bowie's death hit me so hard and Prince's didn't. Maybe with Bowie I was also sad that I had taken him for granted (unlike Prince, who I have always followed loyally since 1984). And perhaps I was unconsciously scared after my tough experience with Bowie's death and shut myself off or something when my hero Prince died, I don't know know. Anyway, I was glad not to be hit so hard. But maybe I am still in denial?

Nanni said:

I think about him often, and the words Prince and dead just don't seem to go together in my mind. I still have a hard time knowing that's he's dead and not coming back, it seems so unreal, still. Whenever I think of him, I feel sadness wash over me, and tears form in my eyes. It all happened so fast, one day he was here, and the next gone, just like that! We didn't get to see his body, and he was cremated so quickly, just gone away, like he never existed. We never got to mourn him in the normal sense. I don't know about anyone else, but as a long time fan like myself, it's been hard. He is missed.

[Edited 8/3/16 16:06pm]

meagemini2 said:

I carry chalk around with me and write:

4 1 ANOTHER -

Whenever I find the right place. It washes off easily, reminds us what Prince's message

was/is and in some way honors his memory wherever I go.

Can't believe he is gone - a precious soul indeed. I miss our beloved Prince. Sometimes I have to think of him doing something ordinary like mowing the lawn, doing dishes or laundry because just the thought of that makes me laugh through the tears. 2 U all!

[Edited 8/2/16 21:41pm]

I like that.

Mumio said:

Here's a bit of what it's like for me...if anyone wants to respond, please be gentle because it's taken a lot for me to put this out here, I'm not given to letting people know who I really am nor how deeply I really feel about this.

Today, I had to make sure I didn't listen to any of his music nor think too much about him. I had an eye appointment at 1pm and couldn't walk in there with swollen eyes for obvious reasons. Right now, other people are around me. They are loved ones, they know how I feel about Prince and how badly his death hit me...but I've made a point of hiding how much it still is affecting me. I suspect my husband knows though because he knows me through and through and can see behind my "fronts". Tomorrow though...tomorrow, the people who do the lawn will be here but I don't have to interract if I don't want to (unless there is something about a project they will be doing for us), so tomorrow will be the day that I end up breaking down, the first time I can really let go since last Thursday. No one will be here until late afternoon, no one will see or feel uncomfortable when they see how sad I still am about all of this. I've held it in for almost a week. It's been difficult to say the least.

Things aren't as bad as they were, but the depth of my sorrow has taken me completely by surprise. I can sit here and cry silent tears for hours...they just run down my face, no sobs, no other sounds. As silent as Paisley Park has been since he left us

[Edited 8/2/16 15:38pm]

Prayers for you Glad you had the time to finally be alone and grieve. It's something everyone has to get through on their own schedule. Until I found the org, I thought I was the only one so miserable!!! Sometimes I read posts and laugh so hard, I cry. Other times, I read something that makes me terribly sad. Or I see a picture or read an interview that makes me feel so guilty, as if I could have somehow intervened.....which is crazy. I still wake up some mornings and think maybe it was a mistake. No one knows how I feel since he died. They would never understand.

The org has been my saving grace. Thanks everyone for sharing your joy and pain. Much love