dear aunties 9s:

while riding the bus on the way home from work today i was suddenly struck by the realization that i would most certainly be able to swim far better if my fingers and toes were webbed. can you recommend any surgeons to perform this delicate operation for me?

hopeful in mpls

IstenSzek said:

i wasnt trying to make you blush !!! Im sorry !

You are tooo cute !!! I can barely stand it !!!

XxAxX said:

Dear Hopeful,

While I know of no surgeons who would be willing to turn you into Patrick Duffy, I can suggest something that is nearly as good. If you will do a search for "mad scientists" on the internet, you will find Dr. Dean Aye who will splice your genes with those of a shark or dolphin, depending upon whether you desire gills or a blowhole. Eventually, you will grow flippers and will be able to transition to aquatic life. I would suggest that you choose the dolphin route, as you will be able to live out of water and can still (technically) get dates.

Barring this obvious solution, you can always buy swim fins.

Glad to help,
IceNine

?
[This message was edited Wed Feb 26 2:46:43 PST 2003 by IstenSzek]

Hi...
I'm BAD, and i'm lookin for that
Speacial someone who likes to spend
long hours in front of a computer screen
and knows how to spell Really Good,
grammer is a plus, but not a deal breaker
AND HEY!!!
who gives a shit what you look like, cause
we wont be seeing much of oneanother anyway.
if this sounds like you, give me a call at

(310) 495-5412
can't wait to hear from you!!!
(that number is a riot... try it)

6'4" HAMSTER
NOT LOOKING FOR LOVE
BUT NOT AFRAID OF IT EITHER
PLAYFUL
BUT WITH A SERIOUS SIDE
CHAOTIC
BUT WITH A TENDENCY TO IT
HUGABLE
BUT FIERCE AT THE SAME TIME

ALL OFFERS CONSIDERED
PLEASE INCLUDE PICTURE

gooeythehamster said:

Gooey...u r too cute.

dear aunties 9:

on the advice of an expert, i recently underwent experimental surgery under the supervision of Dr. M. Ad. Science, of the USM, university of strange medicine. after consulting with the doctor for a few minutes, i made the decision to surrender myself to an new procedure. the plan was to splice select genetic material from a dolphin with my DNA, thereby enabling me to develop fins for better swimming ability.
however, there was a mix-up at the laboratory. accidentally my DNA was spliced with that of a shark, and after spending several hours in the accelerated growth chamber i find my teeth are changing drastically. furthermore, i am also developing gills.

so i wonder if you could provide some advice as to fashion concerns? should i bleach ALL my teeth or would every other one suffice?? and, as far as the gills go, would a midriff baring outfit be too bold?

sign me,
starting fresh in mpls

ps: i think my new fins will go well with a lace shawl, but are shawls in this year?

XxAxX said:

Dear Starting Fresh,

Since your DNA has been spliced with that of a shark, you will notice that your teeth will continually fall out and be replaced by new, razor sharp teeth. There is no real need for oral care, as your teeth will regenerate is if by magic.

The gills can be covered by wearing ear muffs on your face. Some people might find this unusual, but I can assure you that they will not find is as strange as your gills. If you do not lose the ability to breath air, you could go to an auto body shop and have them covered with bondo to lessen the embarassment.

Since sharks are a mass of lean muscle, I would think that you will find that many people will welcome your displaying your super-tight abs. Wear the half shirt... wear a midriff shirt every day!

Shawls will be wonderful for you... and who is going to argue with a shark lady anyway?

I hope this helps,
IceNine

When did this site become a forum for sex ual problems, proclivities, and such?

WHAT does it really have to do with the funk?

Maybe there should be a lone section
for ALL non-Prince threads---another site!

origmnd said:

Dear overly concerned,

Avoiding topics that you are not interested is conducive to increased happiness and fewer people disliking you.

I hope that this helps,
IceNine

IceNine said:

Icey---your picture rules, your funny at times, but your biting remark don't cut no ICE!

origmnd said:

Dear not overly concerned,

Here is an edited and re-written version of my response to take the bite out of it and make it much more palatable.

This whole topic is unfunky... as in "Unfunky computer got no rump to bump."

Prince.org has had no rump to bump since the closing of the general discussion forum, therefore many more industrious orgers have been trying to "set the booty up right" with choice posts, some of which have nothing to do with Prince. When the general discussion forum returns, orgers who are not interested in the blatant silliness of posts such as these will be spared the considerable heartache of having to look at them in various forum while those of us who are completely stupid will revel in the new-found glory of the new general discussion forum.

Come on everyone, let's set the org booty up right!

Your more understanding auntie,
IceNine

P.S. I like bicycles and I wear the funny clothes... please feel free to make fun of me.

IceNine said:

detumescence!

IceNine said:

dear aunties 9:

i'm glad to know some of the teeth will eventually fall out. already i have about 79 too many teeth for comfort. and about the gills, you say the gills should be on my face??? but the gills are not coming in on my face at all, nor even on my neck, but rather over my rib cage. and not only that but i'm pretty sure i just sprouted a fin where one really shouldn't be! my question is wherever will i find a pair of pants to fit now?

sign me,
a bit concerned in mpls

XxAxX said:

Dear concerned,

The gills being on your ribs is a good thing. You can cover them quite easily with a shirt of your choice with very little embarassment. As far as the fin is concerned, I would suggest a pair of assless pants... not only will your tail be much more comfortable, you will also be stylish, much like Prince.

As things progress with the changes, I would suggest frequenting Sea World or perhaps getting a job there as it will help in getting dates.

Glad to help,
IceNine

Boob said:

Actually, you promote turgidity...