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[This message was edited Wed Feb 26 2:43:28 PST 2003 by IstenSzek]

InssynK

this is a wonderful idea

You know,no disrespect to you IstenSzek, I couldn't think of anything worse. This would have to be right up there with those "Sexiest Orger" threads.
However,I think you're onto a winner with this one, because there are enough shallow wannabes out there to make this kind of thread very popular.

Me thinks this isn't so cool! I wont separate nobody from noone! We all are ONE WORLD in one boat. Together we are stronger!
NO MORE RACISSM! NO MORE SEPARATISM! GO ALONE IF YOU DON?T LIKE IT.

IstenSzek said:

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[This message was edited Wed Feb 26 2:44:02 PST 2003 by IstenSzek]

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[This message was edited Wed Feb 26 2:44:13 PST 2003 by IstenSzek]

I am as shallow as I wanna be
Not as shallow as you paint me to be
If you point your finger right at me
You must be shallower than me

The Rodent Personals Club.

Bad idea. Do you really want the people that post here in your personal life?

I heve never understood the difference between a fam and fan, can somebody explain this to me?

A "fan" is still sane, a "fam" is a part of the family. You know how Charles Manson used to call the people around him as his family?

Thanks Nova, now I understand.

IstenSzek said:

An excellent idea... I believe that 2the9s and I could do a kind of Siskel (RIP) and Ebert show... you know... we could BOTH answer the questions and engage in banal banter about the relative merits of the questions asked and their relevance to the underlying core of artistic integrity while pontificating on the value of art in a society that is becoming more and more immoral and less artistic.

A fine idea...

2the9s... are you up for this?

IceNine said:

Can I go first?

Dear Aunt Ice,
I returned home the other day to find my boyfriend being sodomised by my dog Benny (he's a great dane). As I'm sure you can imagine I was horrified, but then I thought what the hell and decided to join in. I stripped off and was just about to enter Benny when he turned round and bit me.
Do you think he was just playing hard to get?

Yours Gratefully.

Xenon. (aka sick muthafucka)

xenon said:

Dear Xenon,

You might be surprised to hear this, but this is actually the Benny's way of saying that he wants a little rough trade. Many scientists who have engaged in sexual relations with various animals have noted this same behavior and research points to it being an innate response to erotic stimulation.

If your dog is too feisty at the outset, I would suggest playing a game of "red rocket" with him to set the mood. The sailing is always smoother once you break the ice. Many animals respond favorably to various treats and sedatives as well. You should ask your local veternarian if tranquilizers are right for your dog. There are also various pet psychologists who might be able to calm Benny's intense passion for your sexual lust.

Thank you for writing and good luck,
IceNine

PS: Keep trying... practice makes perfect
[This message was edited Wed Jul 31 6:12:26 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

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[This message was edited Wed Feb 26 2:45:02 PST 2003 by IstenSzek]

I am down with being an Agony Aunt!

Please post more questions and Ice and I will answer them.

2the9s said:

Come on... questions, questions... let's hear 'em!

Can "red rocket" be played with cats?

uglybrowneyes said:

There has never been a scientific study of this. Write up a proposal and send it to the board for a grant.

EDIT: The board has accepted your proposal. You may now attempt to arouse a cat sexually.

...
[This message was edited Wed Jul 31 10:04:48 PDT 2002 by IceNine]

IstenSzek said:

Does this mean that you are looking for a date?? :EEK:

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[This message was edited Wed Feb 26 2:45:30 PST 2003 by IstenSzek]

IceNine said:

Dear Aunties Ice and 9's
I have been visiting a message forum on the internet and I quite regularly post the first thing that comes into my head. These comments are usually extremely rude and crass, causing me no end of embarrasment. The problem is I just can't seem to stop myself.
Whats your advice?

Yours Xenon.

p.s. I traded the dog in for a sheep which is much more accommodating.
[This message was edited Wed Jul 31 11:31:45 PDT 2002 by xenon]

xenon said:

I say, "Go with it!"

What do you say, 9s?

IstenSzek said:

(in my best Scooby Doo voice) YEAH!!!

dear aunties Ice and 2the 9:

a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend once told me that if i have sex during a thunderstorm on the night of a full moon i might get pregnant! is this true? if so, is there any way for me to prevent thunderstorms while i'm having sex??

sign me, worried in mpls

XxAxX said:

Dear Concerned But Not Chaste:

The solution to your problem is quite simple. Contact the Acme corporation and order their most powerful nuclear weapon. You should also order a minimum of three solid-rocket boosters.

When the items arrive, construct a cylindrical metal tube that will withstand the great forces involved in lift-off; secure the solid-rocket boosters to the cylinder, along with some fins for guidance. Load the explosives in tip of the newly created rocket.

Wait for the next full moon and fire away!

With the moon destroyed, you will no longer have to worry about getting pregnant under the full moon... sure, it will cause severe tidal problems and such, but sometimes this is the price that we must pay for contraception.

I hope this helps,
IceNine

IstenSzek said:

Well forget about organizing an Org Personals section...and well just go out on a date There !! Problem solved Two happy people
LOL

IceNine said:

Well, a problem like this is clearly serious in nature and requires considerable amounts of thought and input by experts and the like.

But yeah, my gut reaction is, Go with it! If anything, type faster!

Also, in the future I advise against editing these comments as that only detracts from their freshness.

Fam & Fan | them & us

Are you with me Ice?

XxAxX said:

Dear Worried in MPLS,

I'm afraid this is true and, as IceNine has suggested, the only sure way to avoid such an outcome is to take out the moon.

However, if I can recommend a less drastic "home remedy," I have heard that if you jump up and down during a tornado within three days after having sex in a thunderstorm, then this could prevent any unwanted pregnancy.

Good luck with that,

2the9s