So there's this guy. He's got a knife. And he's like on this quest to stay alive. Only there's these bad people and monsters and a million aliens, stuff like that which don't want him to. And they've got magic and high-tech weaponry and all of this. You're probably thinking, "Boy, that guy must be stupid, he should give up." Well, if he gives up, they'll just kill him, so forget that idea. The guy has got to like, just run for it. I mean he is the last human and all that, so its like his duty or something to survive it all.

So he runs into an abandoned building. His feet falling behind his body. He smashes through this revolving door, and there's glass everywhere. The glass just like shatters all around him. Its really bad to be honest. However, he manages to not cut himself using his skill. Some dragons chase after him. Big dragons they are too. They kind of bellow fire and stuff out of thier noses but they get stuck in the hole in the revolving door. That was a hairy moment for this lone survivor. Just when he thought he'd made it to a safe place eighteen thousand ninjas drop down and start throwing metal all over the place. Star things and swords just fly around the room. But this guy is good. He dodges all five million metal projectiles using luck. He pulls out his knife. They flee, for now.

The guy hops into the elevator. He hopes there's like a helicopter or something on top of the building because there usually is in these kind of situations. Laser weaponry rips down from the roof of the elevator, there are a million aliens at the top of the shaft shooting and zapping at him. The elevator then begins to kind of plummit downwards. Our hero jumps up to the roof, busts through, knifes all the aliens one by one before they can do anything, grabs a laser rifle or four and hangs onto the elevator cable. He then shoots the cable with a laser rifle, and the elevator and the remaining two hundred aliens fall to their deaths. Then, using some skill and strength he like scurries up the cable. Suddenly he sees this Harrier Jump Jet fly into the shaft firing missiles and stuff in his direction. He dodges all of them. Below him the ninjas are scaling the walls and, protected by thier knife vests are climbing up the shaft. He bigins firing his lazer rifle at the approaching Harrier Jump Jet and, using luck and skill shoots the duck-like pilot. He kind of moves out of the way a bit rapid like, and the jet screams past him and explodes in the middle of all the ninjas.

Once he's at the top of the shaft he notices he is blocked in by an innocent looking wall.. He attacks the nearby innocent wall with his knife, which shatters in a flurry of aluminum and gyprock. Beyond the wall was this helicopter as predicted. He lurches lurchingly towards the helicopter when he sees a nuclear missile come bounding towards him. He attacks the missile with his skill and luck using his knife. The missile becomes dissarmed luckily. The guy then kind of just sits down in the cockpit of the helicopter, looks down and sobs. The helicopter didnt land there you see, it kind of ran out of petrol and ditched there.
So he quickly just sits there sobbing. The enemy gets him. Poor bastard.

And the point of this? To proove Matt and Ben are on holiday and therefore will not delete this post.

THERE IS A NEW SHIERIPH IN TOWN.
I CAN SHUT THIS DOWN WITH
THE APPEARENCE OF MY NAME!!!