O.K., so it's a classical gig story. 'Tis the season to be playing Handel's "Messiah", especially if you're a string player. At any rate, the "Messiah" gigs from hell are the ones where the tempos are all LARGO, the chairs you sit in are the ones they use for church functions so you're paralyzed from the shoulders down by the time you're finished, and the director thinks it would be wonderful if you played the whole 3-hour gol - darned thang. With an intermission.

Yup. That was me this weekend. Two performances. I'm walkin' with a limp and a hunchback. Oh, the pain.


Reminds me, 'tis also the season to be playin' the "Nutcracker". How-som-ever, one year I played like 200 performances of the thang, and O.D.'ed on it. Can't play it no mo'. I break out in hives if I even hear a snippet of Nutcracker music. Too bad, 'cuz I used to like it. Nutcracker gigs from hell--down in a too small, too dark pit, music that has been used so much that you've got so many different bowings and fingerings and cuts penciled in that you never know where the hell you are. . .and the conductor and the choreographer/lead dancers NEVER agree on tempos so the rehearsal takes about an hour longer than necessary because they're constantly arguing from the pit to the stage.

Anybody feelin' me?

I've never been in a situation like that. Sounds scary.

Try sitting in the audience for that performance, it's rough. I'm sure it's nothing compared to sitting in a cruel chair like the one you described.

It's kind of cool that all musicians have gigs from hell and we can share and bond here.