hey org artists..

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so this is a song I wrote & played the synth on : cryyououtofme

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V5tB_By1zc

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I want to expose this song to a larger audience

to have someone develop this song more;

record it, release it, all that.

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to increase the exposure, I've done some research & I'm thinking about putting this song on a music database

like.. Discogs or Free Music Archive. I'm also directly contacting a handful of artists

whom I think could perform this song at a higher/more developed way

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this demo doesn't sound anything like a "country song"

but after I wrote it, the title alone made me think -

I could imagine a good country singer just..

taking this song to another level.

or really - anyone with a soulful, emotive voice.

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so :

1 does anyone here have any experience with Discogs or FMA or similar?

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2 would it be a good idea to put this song on a music database like that?

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plus, of course, whatever comments or feedback you have would be appreciated..

mltijchr said:

I am going to listen to this when I'm on the computer not my phone but I do want to just say that I feel like country music is like the last bastion of true loyal music followers and if you could do this somehow, DO.

I have listened and I will listen again. I think what you have here is a chorus for a song. And it's a good one. But for it to have impact I would (and this is only my personal opinion, and the way I would do it) is to have some contrast and build up in tension in a verse that will then let the chorus flood you with relief and tension. I am imagining something like the verses in The Family song screams of passion - lots of words that run, so that when you get to Cry me out of you, it's like reaching a cliff that you jump off and soar.

Do you know what I mean?

hey ZK.. I think I do know what you mean. when I 1st started writing this song (last year) there was.. more to it, in terms of lyrics. I think what I had then was.. too much. from that original version, I don't know if those lyrics added "tension" or not; I just know how (theraputic) it was for me to get that emotion out of me.

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it would seem that what I ended up with is more "simplified" than what I started with - even in this "demo form".

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I do appreciate your feedback, considering how well I believe you did with your song.

mltijchr said:

hey ZK.. I think I do know what you mean. when I 1st started writing this song (last year) there was.. more to it, in terms of lyrics. I think what I had then was.. too much. from that original version, I don't know if those lyrics added "tension" or not; I just know how (theraputic) it was for me to get that emotion out of me.

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it would seem that what I ended up with is more "simplified" than what I started with - even in this "demo form".

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I do appreciate your feedback, considering how well I believe you did with your song.

not just in terms of lyrics (meaning), I mean the contrast also in speed of delivery, for example the verses would be lots of short fast syllables, and then the chorus is loooooong held notes.

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here is another song of mine, a bit different with a different singer

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http://popmuzik.se/2016/1...wn-better/

[Edited 11/21/16 20:17pm]

the production of "should've known better" is good like the other song you did

(I like the other song a little more)

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so then in terms of the delivery of the lyrics in CYOOM - I admit I'm lost on the point you were trying to make.. if you'd want, if you could give a clearer example of what you meant that would be cool..

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do you play any instruments? did you play any on either of these 2 songs you have here??

mltijchr said:

I'm not sure how I could explain it better!
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I did most of the production (drums and percussion only to demo stage) in both the songs, using cubase. Which means I performed and edited the parts / instruments you hear with a midi controller keyboard and midi editor (inside cubase) the instruments in both tracks are virtual. My husband then takes it to the next level with EQ, mix, master etc.

ZombieKitten said:

mltijchr said:

the production of "should've known better" is good like the other song you did

(I like the other song a little more)

.

so then in terms of the delivery of the lyrics in CYOOM - I admit I'm lost on the point you were trying to make.. if you'd want, if you could give a clearer example of what you meant that would be cool..

.

do you play any instruments? did you play any on either of these 2 songs you have here??

I'm not sure how I could explain it better! . I did most of the production (drums and percussion only to demo stage) in both the songs, using cubase. Which means I performed and edited the parts / instruments you hear with a midi controller keyboard and midi editor (inside cubase) the instruments in both tracks are virtual. My husband then takes it to the next level with EQ, mix, master etc.

I have to agree. Song is a tad bland. Needs more structure to it. I would focus on trying to be more lyrical. It does sound like a chorus rather than a full song. Try building a bridge for it. Just my couple of cents. Kudos!