I'm holding this flame in my heart. It won't ever fade or die. Thank U for putting this back on i could just curl up and die. Something keeps me believing this is just a dream. This is just another way to get the best out of me it would seem. Ratbag. Well i will just have to write it all out again on here the 52 page letter that i don't suppose was ever read by him. Oh, it's broken my phone the deluge on Twitter. I can't get my a/c up. I've sent a copy on there of the first page.

Dear Prince, You'll have to forgive me for waxing a little smug. There i was just a tinsy bit miffed by the ink merchants control of how much i get to enjoy my pens and then guess who saved the water i washed the nibs in, i'll find jars and i've been addidng the Royal to the ink in the Parker pen already, no probs. I still have another 14 barrels to clean up - well 14 more nibs. How do i get all the wonderful colours? I buy the whole set, there are 14 colours and 3 nibs & barrels. My children won't go short of do do pens when it's their time. I'm going to get the set i saw, the barrels are really bright and will go with the ink colours, it will be cute. I have to clean these first....there isn't any other i listen to just now. It's just not U. I want the essence of the man in the music. I want the REAL. So being so satisfied with this essence of U - as much music as i can download, dance to and cry to, i am content. 40 albums, 38 Urs. Few others and Mozart. 407 songs(then) 378 through U, by U, from U, it isn't all so why should it be enough, U need my fire, U call me if someone needs moving on releasing(WarnerBros.?) more. I WANT MORE! (Music) God knows i'm not playing unless i get my music, meaning Urs. I want it. I mean you could be holding something up that could be transformative for me and many others perhaps? Maybe i'm slowing progress, why would I progress the evil that exists, how many statues have to be struck down before churches prosecute priests. It's vile that any churches should be adorned, like a whore, to attract parishoners. There were things i could do and if i took a 1000mg of Panadol i would feel better and not moan out of that pain area. There are at least seven good reasons i'm not adventurous and spend most days fixing one strain or ache or another. I am waiting for the pill to kick in for the tooth being pushed out by the wisdom tooth that's 3/4 through the gum, that involves the whole right side of my skull - so what comes on the iPhone - 'Head.' very funny - not! I like the pits, 'death warmed up'. It's all the damage from the falls and such, it pays U back later. Well it's later and it scares the crap out of me it could be getting worse. Handwriting is also a check on my brain. I had another red and white zig zag vision in the left eye nearly a complete circle and then a whispy smokey line going my left to right i think. I burnt sage around. (I must do that just now my hands are jerking, burnt sage) I'm concerned when i'm trying to dodge headaches too. Teatree to clean up both the earache and the sore pushed out tooth. It's making my arms and shoulders ache as well. Lonely state to be in brilliant dirversion or barrier to keep me within, the barriers of class and status. Phew what a relief. Noone expects anything now. I survived a dark day of the Soul today. 16.5.2014 pge 4/ I went on the web - the colour was drained it looked anaemic. I close off and there were updates waiting. Champion. I'm wary, i don't feel confident because i can't just put a new ribbon in to fix it. I think the fact i don't have a box of patches to fix punctures is the reason i don't ride my bike more often. I just 'got' this, i like having the music on, as much as i flamin' well like RIGHT! It's U, I please me. I watch tv too or this without U singing away in the back ground while i write. Graffiti Bridge playing right now - as i was starting to say, U say very positive messages over us - I do get high from them, U really are intoxicating, even from a long way. Not all the time, we're filthy cute and know it - just not all the time, that too, not all the time.7.01am- Ok, i'll rise i suppose, it's coolish 11 degrees. I got 4 hours on and off. I was over tired AND big mistake chocolate covered Macadamia nuts. So rich U can only eat a few anyway. Interesting waxy texture to chew to fibre, very yummy. Not after 3 or 5pm too much caffeine in 6 they kept me up until 1am! I wouldn't mind but nothing to see on tv. I torment myself listening to U so much. I wondered why(15.5.14) and on and on, why, why? To know how this feels. Ok i just said 'torment'. Straight forward a) this persona U project is the only desireabe man on the planet to my mind, b) totally unnattainable and therefore perfectly safe for me and from me. I am so terrified of being alone with anyone not related to me, oh God even that turned out not to be safe. My nephew didn't like me, he only pretended to. I'm stuffed! God what if the only one i can live with is my son? do U have any idea how horrified i am at that thought, of more years like this? What does God think I am made of stone? 16 hours 2day this is what i'm made of paper & ink. (Now i need to take a break, do housework and menial tasks must move around a bit.) That's just 5 pages of the 52, back soon.