(Original Version)
Here I am sitting in your robe, watching flames dance in my fireplace.
When you left, you took my essence away and switched it for your worldly belongings.
I wouldn't have it any other way if you had to leave,
Because at least this way I have something to remember you by.
You out of my life would always have burnt me essence like the logs succumbing to the flames.
I am the log turning to ash from the heat of my emptiness,
And my figure in your robe, is you watching what you have done to me.
My only regret is that I'm not next to you,
Watching me be burnt with us together.

(Rewrite)
Here I sit wearing your clothes, watching flames dance in the fireplace.
I feel weak and hollow from your leaving at such a rapid pace
The logs turned ashes are me, burnt out from our emotional blaze
My silhouette is you burning me like an error you must erase.
My greatest regret is I'm not beside you, helping with a lathe.
You may have left me, but you took my heart and left an empty space

I wrote the original version late last night while listening to NEWS by Prince. I went out of my way to rely on imagery as opposed to rhymes and structure. After I wrote it, I grew worried that people wouldn't be interested in it or able to understand the poem in it's current state, so I rewrote it in a more traditional manner making it follow a set amount of syllables as closely as possible and having rhymes in it. This version wasn't written with any music in mind. Which version is better and can one even consider the original version to be poetry? Also, please excuse any typos. I like to type poems on my iPod when I can't sleep.

I like both! The revised version is better.

Rewrite.

More succinct, thus packs more of a punch.