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MY Spirit IS HatShepSut Most are here with a label Most are here still asleep Ive been alive in spirit For Hatshepsut, I was king Albeit, there are no kings but his glory And man kingdom did fable my tale She is a King to people But Jesus is king of all Kingdoms I reigned a victorious woman Who fed, led cried and gave wings... For Eye Am Hatshepsut, 18th round, did I sing Thank u take care. Love4a1000yrs 2 Serious 4 U 2 handle...
2 FUN That Most Won't know. Created w/Love4Ever...me. | |
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That sucks.
I would try and read it again to make sure, but I'm almost dead sure it just has no redeeming qualities to it.
How long did it take you to write, and did you even try to google poetry writing?
It just really sucks.
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Dearest Imago:
Your input lacks poetic gesture but it really does show how much of a BULLY you are; only, dig this... get better. Kiss Kiss Honey. Love4a1000yrs [Edited 1/2/12 12:07pm] 2 Serious 4 U 2 handle...
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OMG, I just realized you're Singmia!
lawd, your poetry actually got worse!
You promised to leave [AGAIN] about 5 months ago. :confused:
No, matter. I don't want you to leave. Your poems are so bad, I get a kick out of reading them.
Look, this isn't personal. But if you're going to post nonsense, expect the public to not react adoringly.
you're-to-your edit
[Edited 1/2/12 18:35pm] | |
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OK, OK. Since you think I'm being a bully, I'll just look at the poem itself, and try and figure it out for the sake of not just dimissing it as drivel.
MY Spirit IS HatShepSut So, your spirit is that of an ancient female Egyptian pharoah. Most are here with a label
So most people subscribe to some form of nation building or creed?
Most are here still asleep Stuck in the matrix? Not yet fully aware of the truth? Unenlightened?
Ive been alive in spirit What does this even mean? Are you speaking now from HatSheSut's point-of-view?
For Hatshepsut, I was king
oh lawd, it seems you are. You've gone from figurative to literal. So apparently
now you're an ancient king.
Albeit, there are no kings but his glory So 'his' is Jesus? God? Xorcon the spacegod?
And man kingdom did fable my tale Do you mean the kingdom of man invented your story? Fable means to fabricate and invent
when used as a verb. But, what is man kingdom? I'm hoping you meant the kingdom of man.
But who knows anymore. If your an ancient king, wouldn't you be ruling over men? And
therefore, somewhat responsible for fabling your own tale? Or have we gone back to
a figurative you?
She is a King to people So you used present perfect for to be. Does that mean, you think this ancient pharoah...ie, you
in both the literal and figurative sense, currently reign over mankind? REALLY? You are our queen?
But Jesus is king of all Kingdoms
Make up your mind. Should one serve two kingdoms?
 I reigned a victorious woman Who fed, led cried and gave wings... Now, you've gone back to a first person account, but merely reported. The last line actually
sounds very poetic and nice, though it really means nothing much.
For Eye Am Hatshepsut, 18th round, did I sing Thank u take care. Love4a1000yrs yeah yeah .
[Edited 1/2/12 18:50pm] | |
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