Gossamer wraiths creep past windows

Casting shadows like flickering mullion echoes

(or which move in ominous processions like mullion shadows drawn on the floor by moonlight)

Disturb ye not before thy final slumber

Grazing and tapping with cautious anticipation

Waiting for but a single blunder,

Let ye not forget, what they seek to tear asunder.

Beckoning you to the bog outside.

Bedpost clung and sheets and palms clutch and cohere,

Eaten alive by spidery fear,

Wrapped in the latticework of your own regret,

Imagining the unsegmented sinewy maker,

Heirs to a poison fountainhead for whom they were beget,

Let ye bequest for posterity not be torn asunder, for they shall not forget.

But beckon you to the bog outside.

Rather each wait with ever vigilant eyes,

Yet what if life is not meant to be grasped, and hence despised?

And the ego but an enchantment of condition?

Would it be not ridiculous to keep the veil of illusion?

Draped over your cowering head in submission,

To the silly fairytale of the separate me, myself, and I,

Desperately grasping a glass of water,

When outside the river beckons.

--- แทนไท

[Edited 9/7/11 22:05pm]

Very nice. Much to think about and reflect on. If I could offer some constructive criticism (which I am always open to also) the second verse could be worked on for more clarity and what I call smoothness of wording or "flow." But whose poetry can't use more work! You encapsulate some very deep philosophical ideas here and those are always harder to wrestle with than solid similes or metaphors which imply more... Keep up the good work and don't be afraid to post! (At least that's what I tell myself!) You have a true gift with words!

purplethunder3121 said:

Very nice. Much to think about and reflect on. If I could offer some constructive criticism (which I am always open to also) the second verse could be worked on for more clarity and what I call smoothness of wording or "flow." But whose poetry can't use more work! You encapsulate some very deep philosophical ideas here and those are always harder to wrestle with than solid similes or metaphors which imply more... Keep up the good work and don't be afraid to post! (At least that's what I tell myself!) You have a true gift with words!

I'm going back to writing about ass and birds!!! (those words may have never been spoken in the English language in that order ever before).

imago said:

purplethunder3121 said:

Very nice. Much to think about and reflect on. If I could offer some constructive criticism (which I am always open to also) the second verse could be worked on for more clarity and what I call smoothness of wording or "flow." But whose poetry can't use more work! You encapsulate some very deep philosophical ideas here and those are always harder to wrestle with than solid similes or metaphors which imply more... Keep up the good work and don't be afraid to post! (At least that's what I tell myself!) You have a true gift with words!

I'm going back to writing about ass and birds!!! (those words may have never been spoken in the English language in that order ever before).

No! Damn it! My words were meant to encourage, not discourage!!! You have a real talent for poetry! Don't be so sensitive about any criticism--you darned perfectionist! This is a lovely poem. I really enjoy your efforts when you extend yourself--I want to read and encourage more of this. What I consider REAL efforts at poetry. Fuck all, wish I hadn't said anything. We NEED you here. Imago! Anyone can write "fluff" poetry full of dick and feathers! I want you to write that, too--but I want to see you extend yourself--because you are that good. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't say so!

Oh, I forgot to include asses in your poetic menagery!

ok ok.. how about now?

I'm warning..... ass and birds. ASS......AND.....BIRDS.

imago said:

ok ok.. how about now?

I'm warning..... ass and birds. ASS......AND.....BIRDS.

Stubborn as a...

purplethunder3121 said:

imago said:

ok ok.. how about now?

I'm warning..... ass and birds. ASS......AND.....BIRDS.

Stubborn as a...

purplethunder3121 said: