SO FAR THE SONG IS CALLED"YOU DONT CARE" AND I JUST CAME UP WITH IT TODAY BUT CANT FIGURE OUT A CHORUS AND I NEED HELP !! http://www.soundclick.com...ID=1006151

i'd sing a "u don't care" (with "care" on every beat)

u don't care

u don't care

no, u don't care

and so on

u dont care that i love u

u dont care that i need u

u just dont care about anyone but u

no no...?

(could put more but i let u mull it over hope i helped...?

namaste2u said:

u dont care that i love u

u dont care that i need u

u just dont care about anyone but u

no no...?

(could put more but i let u mull it over hope i helped...?

Oh that sad lyrics" i hope you don't feel like that"

godswill said:

Camrod66..?

The words I gave u was just a springboard to try and help you...?

With Your chorus ..? sorry & no i dont feel that way to:-D

i just thought that they might help in someway with your demo

for you to find a chorus out of it even if its just one line:

and then build from there

so sorry once again...?NAMASTE2U

I'll give it a shot camrod...

When I come home after midnite lookin' like sin...

you don't ever ask me nuthin'...not even where I been...

Do ya really care?.......

Baby,....... don't ask me................ to perform again.........

There's nuthin left....babay .....just sin.............

I dunno....if ya wanna change it up....s'all good w/me....I am not a song writer but...

thought I would give it a shot...

Good Luck Funky 1

pippet said:

i wanna hear it.C how it sounds w/intrerpretation

U rock

namaste2u said:

camrod66 said:

namaste2u said:

Camrod66..?

The words I gave u was just a springboard to try and help you...?

With Your chorus ..? sorry & no i dont feel that way to:-D

i just thought that they might help in someway with your demo

for you to find a chorus out of it even if its just one line:

and then build from there

so sorry once again...?NAMASTE2U

no i didnt write that to you someone else did....i thought the lyrics you wrote were cool

Where the chorus kicks in first time I might use two bars with no vocals and then hit verse 2 ... It has a good catch musically so I might be tempted to build it up for chours 2.... Its musically catchy so it might make the vocal chorus sound stronger.... really build the tension make it maybe more mysterious and unconventional.. its muiscally by itself strong.. so why not use it to creat a lil more atmosphere

[Edited 6/5/10 6:07am]

levis1 said:

camrod66 said:

namaste2u said:

Camrod66..?

The words I gave u was just a springboard to try and help you...?

With Your chorus ..? sorry & no i dont feel that way to:-D

i just thought that they might help in someway with your demo

for you to find a chorus out of it even if its just one line:

and then build from there

so sorry once again...?NAMASTE2U

no i didnt write that to you someone else did....i thought the lyrics you wrote were cool

I know u didnt camrod66.. & also thank u2.. (I wish u well on the demo..) Namaste2u

very prince like - dig it a lot.

missmad said:

camrod66 said:

missmad said:

very prince like - dig it a lot.

well thank you

you are welcome. I think you should try what namaste2 wrote, sounds like a chorus-simple, catchy, people will remember it.

camrod66 said:

SO FAR THE SONG IS CALLED"YOU DONT CARE" AND I JUST CAME UP WITH IT TODAY BUT CANT FIGURE OUT A CHORUS AND I NEED HELP !! http://www.soundclick.com...ID=1006151

Sounds preety obvious to me. But you mighty want to check out lyrics. com for some added help if you are not confident on the posts that you recieved.