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Thread started 06/21/07 6:00pm

shayne07

Outcast by shayne

Outcast 22/6/07

My seeming invisibility
A consequence of my culpability
Neglecting the worth in me
There for the world to see

Sometimes i seem so dumb
Relating as i do to those that have come undone
Everyday saying i want to get ahead
Yet having so little faith in the words i ve said

Unsure which labels to use for myself
Thinking bi-polar manic depression mental health
How do i give my focus a different direction
Unable as i am to satisfy this question

No respect for those i meet
Every other thought second guessing deceit
This life of mine in a mess
My mind absorbed with getting girls to undress

I'm a one man band
Not knowing for what i stand
Grappling sinking living my past
Wondering to myself will i always be an outcast
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Reply #1 posted 06/25/07 5:42pm

shayne07

feedback wanted please..
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Reply #2 posted 06/26/07 7:02am

obsessed

Your composition is obviously good (in my mind),
as in reading this it did "pull out feelings"..
loneliness and frustration.
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Reply #3 posted 06/26/07 7:12am

tony23k

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I get the sense and feeling of a struggle to break free from something.
my phone is heavy
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Reply #4 posted 06/26/07 9:33am

shayne07

obsessed said:

Your composition is obviously good (in my mind),
as in reading this it did "pull out feelings"..
loneliness and frustration.



thanks for your comment , i like that it was evocative..have a good 1
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Reply #5 posted 06/26/07 9:35am

shayne07

tony23k said:

I get the sense and feeling of a struggle to break free from something.


I think that is a perceptive comment..i thank U for it my friend
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Reply #6 posted 06/27/07 7:54am

tony23k

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shayne07 said:

tony23k said:

I get the sense and feeling of a struggle to break free from something.


I think that is a perceptive comment..i thank U for it my friend

You're welcome
my phone is heavy
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Reply #7 posted 06/27/07 7:58am

tony23k

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shayne07 said:

Outcast 22/6/07

My seeming invisibility
A consequence of my culpability
Neglecting the worth in me
There for the world to see

Sometimes i seem so dumb
Relating as i do to those that have come undone
Everyday saying i want to get ahead
Yet having so little faith in the words i ve said

Unsure which labels to use for myself
Thinking bi-polar manic depression mental health
How do i give my focus a different direction
Unable as i am to satisfy this question

No respect for those i meet
Every other thought second guessing deceit
This life of mine in a mess
My mind absorbed with getting girls to undress

I'm a one man band
Not knowing for what i stand
Grappling sinking living my past
Wondering to myself will i always be an outcast

this line has answers for me cool
my phone is heavy
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Reply #8 posted 06/28/07 8:50pm

shayne07

It s a great line my friend..
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