Author | Message |
Outcast by shayne Outcast 22/6/07
My seeming invisibility A consequence of my culpability Neglecting the worth in me There for the world to see Sometimes i seem so dumb Relating as i do to those that have come undone Everyday saying i want to get ahead Yet having so little faith in the words i ve said Unsure which labels to use for myself Thinking bi-polar manic depression mental health How do i give my focus a different direction Unable as i am to satisfy this question No respect for those i meet Every other thought second guessing deceit This life of mine in a mess My mind absorbed with getting girls to undress I'm a one man band Not knowing for what i stand Grappling sinking living my past Wondering to myself will i always be an outcast | |
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feedback wanted please.. | |
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Your composition is obviously good (in my mind),
as in reading this it did "pull out feelings".. loneliness and frustration. | |
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I get the sense and feeling of a struggle to break free from something. my phone is heavy | |
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obsessed said: Your composition is obviously good (in my mind),
as in reading this it did "pull out feelings".. loneliness and frustration. thanks for your comment , i like that it was evocative..have a good 1 | |
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tony23k said: I get the sense and feeling of a struggle to break free from something.
I think that is a perceptive comment..i thank U for it my friend | |
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shayne07 said: tony23k said: I get the sense and feeling of a struggle to break free from something.
I think that is a perceptive comment..i thank U for it my friend You're welcome my phone is heavy | |
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shayne07 said: Outcast 22/6/07
My seeming invisibility A consequence of my culpability Neglecting the worth in me There for the world to see Sometimes i seem so dumb Relating as i do to those that have come undone Everyday saying i want to get ahead Yet having so little faith in the words i ve said Unsure which labels to use for myself Thinking bi-polar manic depression mental health How do i give my focus a different direction Unable as i am to satisfy this question No respect for those i meet Every other thought second guessing deceit This life of mine in a mess My mind absorbed with getting girls to undress I'm a one man band Not knowing for what i stand Grappling sinking living my past Wondering to myself will i always be an outcast this line has answers for me my phone is heavy | |
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It s a great line my friend.. | |
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