I mean, this is a real hassle. People cancelling the night of rehearsal, flying out of town for a week when you have a show coming up, scrambling for rehearsal space, hurt feelings, conflicting vision...communication, communication, communication. And do you even like these personalities?






Well, it's starting to get fun. And then there's the show...which could be great...


BUT IS IT ALL WORTH IT?

if u love what u do, ull make it work at least 4 a while

I don't really love dealing with personalities and cancellations. To be honest, I don't know if I love the kind of music we play (punk rock). I love the kind of audience we bring in and the fact that we make them so happy, but instrumentally, it's not very challenging.

so no one else has this struggle?

A few years ago I split with my band of about 8 years. We did tons of fun things - recorded a great cd, went on some fun mini-tours, won some awards and were generally well-liked. Despite all that, committing 10+ hours a week got to be way too much and after a lot of agonizing I decided I couldn't do it anymore.

It was a great chapter in my life and I miss those guys a lot sometimes. I'm really glad we broke up though

Oh, I was supposed to have said, "just make sure you got a lot of booze in stock" up there... .org keeps crashing for me.

I wonder if it's worth it--not bands in general, but this one I'm in. But it's like a job, when I start looking around it seems much more desirable to stay where I am. Not that I have the best band or job, but that it's so difficult to find a new place to fit in.

I was just on craigslist today looking for musicians and there was not much that appealed to me, and not many I would appeal to either. The scary thing is finding a band that plays half the same songs you do! I think why go through the trouble & difficulty to be in the exact same situation.

But the personalities, nice as they are, are beginning to clash and we all are starting to become annoyed with each others' flaws, both musical and otherwise.

Some days it all works, too, which makes it easy to forget the 90% of the time when you think that it's a waste of time.

abigail05 said:

I feel the same way about my old band. At this point in my life, don't know if I have it in me to do the long rehearsals three and four times a week, dealing with the personality clashes, lugging equipment around and playing shows for little money - in some ways, it was a lot of work, little reward.

We did have a lot of fun, though...

JesseDezz said:

So the answer is no. It's not worth it.

NDRU said:

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. But to be honest, I'm getting this attitude about everything I do in the arts. It's slave slave slave for NO recompense. Never any money and a lot of setbacks and grief and sacrifice. Now, I'm the first one to make sacrifices for my art, but there are choices.

For instance, I am much more attracted to sitting at home editing and writing radio plays on my computer than struggling with personalities.

Now we have all these sensitive issues coming up in the band -- the singer is afraid to work with an unknown conductor, the drummer is a perfectionist and wants to eliminate pieces that the rest of us love and is requesting full recordings of the orchestra playing all the pieces so she can rewrite all the arrangements Where the hell do I get recordings of the orchestra? Do they even exist? We invited three new members in, and they immediately starting axing the set list.

I'm left wondering... are there people who enjoy this kind of stuff? I mean, I love love love the contributions everyone brings, but everyone has demands too. And when it comes to music, musicians feel very strongly about things...so it gets touchy. Or maybe I'm the touchy one.

It sounds to me Heartbeat that you (or someone else) need to take the reigns of the band and drive.

I only say this because I've put together a band recently and had some of these same experiences until I had finally had enough. My goal was to have a little democracy when it came to cover choices, practice times and everything else. Well after a few practices of indecision or arguing, missed practices, a couple of rearranging the schedule for people and misc. other bullshit. I finally had had enough but I was so worried about not being a taskmaster, dictator asshole that the band was suffering.

So a couple of weeks ago, I just put my foot down and said, "enough". Practice is this time on this day and unless the drummer or me can’t make it, be there. I will pick songs and if the majority of the band hates it or it’s obviously just not working, it’s in the set. Then, as soon as there’s a mistake in a song, we stop and try it again. Practice is to make the music better and playing through was just accepting mediocrity and I had had enough of that too. The last 2 practices have been the best we’ve had and I keep things focused, give them breaks when I sense things are dragging and the music is great and getting better every practice.

I’m not going to lie though, it’s takes a lot of energy to do this, play a couple of instruments, sing a song and back-ups and record every practice. Is it worth it? To me the answer is "hell yes" but it’s only been 2 practices and let’s see how the public responds at our first gig in June.

Hope everything else is going good with you...

Oh yeah, if the band members are too high maintenance, they're out. It's not a democracy, I'm doing all the leg work, you're just showing up and playing.

I used to play in bands. It's fun to do rehearsals and gigs and stuff, but every band I played in ended up in musical fussing and fighting.
Nowadays I'm my own band, as I play and record every instrument on the track. It's cool to work on your own, but I miss my buddies occasionally.

Slave2daGroove said:

I think that's the problem with mine. It IS a democracy, and we have no real direction because of it.

Your comment about legwork makes sense to me, though. I felt that artistry would give my opinions weight (and they have to some extent) but if I got us more gigs it would count for even more. So I have to accept that a lot of my problem is my own fault for not hustling more.

Christaro said:

I did that for years. I found the music to be kind of sterile that way. It's just not as exciting as making it with other people. Also, what about live shows?


But you can make it exactly the way you want.

If you are really serious, find people that are as serious as you. Someone has to be the leader. You do not want to get with people who have huge egos and are control freaks trying to make up for their lack of self esteem. If I work with anyone like that now, they are instantly gone.

It took me 20 years to find the right guys. Now at 38 I have the perfect band. Maturity helps too. Otherwise learn to play and record everything yourself.

www.myspace.com/marktgrimshaw

Slave2daGroove said:

Thanks for the wisdom!

I got us this gig when I had no other bandmates but myself, and since I have a personal commitment to my friend who programmed us, it's been on my head to make it work. I agree, the more I step up to the plate and accept the role of leader, the better things go. I just didn't realize how much work it would be to do that, I guess.

I was on the verge of firing the cellist, then we recruited some other band members, so if she falls off the map we're covered anyway.

The new development is that one of the new recruits has taken over scheduling and she's great at it, so that's off my back for the time being. Just when I was getting good at it. The drawback is, she has a lot of opinions.

The thing I hate most is when rehearsal is scheduled and people show up, but half the people don't and the rehearsal gets cancelled! I say, rehearse anyway, dammit! Don't let the flakes derail the process!

I'm glad your answer is "hell yes"

NDRU said:

I don't really give rats ass about the other members' artistry in the decision making process unless they are on board from the beginning and prove themselves dedicated (that's no commentary on you LOL). I just feel the heat to provide for my friend who asked us to headline on a Saturday night AND I have a lot of pride in my work, so I don't want it to be half-assed.

BTW, It's on May 19 in San Francisco 992 Valencia

sensitivemthrfker said:

Well, I'm 39 . I think most of us are now serious, but I don't trust the cello. But when you say "perfect band", does that mean you all share the same vision? Respect differences and your authority? Do you genuinely enjoy seeing them...no personality conflicts? Just curious.

NDRU said:

I do find an absolute thrill playing with others. And to be honest, I'm not that motivated to do something solo. There's a whole different kind of work in that and I've done that for years as a filmmaker anyway. Playing in a band is nice because you're just responsible for your part, which can at times be pretty simple, but put together with all the parts, it can turn into something awesome! And my band is all about live shows. The last show we had, the entire audience was SCREAMING out Pretty Vacant by the Sex Pistols with us.

heartbeatocean said:

Maybe I should just relax and become a slave2dagroove

heartbeatocean said:

No, you're right, a person can't just come in and take over a band, no matter how good they are. They join a band and may eventually assert influence. But you can't just come in and cut songs & make demands.

I'll write it down in my calendar!

heartbeatocean said:

This is something our drummer doesn't get. He thinks the entire song is basically a complicated drum solo (with other stuff on top).
[Edited 4/23/07 16:40pm]

heartbeatocean said:

nobody said it's relaxing, I said it's work and it takes a lot of energy but I love music so much I seem to find the energy with work, the girlfriend and the rest of my life...

And then there's nights like tonight where it all went smoothly, we communicated and genuinely agreed, and generally had a good time...

NDRU said:

I wonder how you can break that one down.

It's very funny and ironic, being a musician sometimes. I mean I was raised to practice complicated runs and perform solo concertos with a backing orchestra. What I'm learning now, is that playing music doesn't have to be nearly as backbreaking. I mean, I'm really overqualified to play rock and roll.

But the older I get, the more and more I'm glad to not have the responsibility to have to wow people and perform solos. The ego thing just does not interest me anymore. I don't have time or energy for that!

I want something halfway challenging and it's a blast to play with other instruments. I really enjoy that part.

maybe it is worth it

Slave2daGroove said:

I guess what I meant was maybe I should embrace it and stop fighting it

NDRU said:

We'll see how my rehearsal goes tonight. I'm looking forward to it.