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Thread started 10/13/06 6:49am

DanceWme

A poem of mine...Tell me what u think

Even if u dont like it...let me know



LAST TEAR


A tear goes through a lot before it lands
In the midst of its drop
Before it touches my hands
It sees the world that gave it life
And no longer hides
It has a mind like me and a heart that will soon die
With its last fall to never be seen again
It remembers the struggle
And the pain within
Its last steps are priceless
And shines like gold
It knows it's the last of the hurting soul
It unfolds the past and years of fear
Confusion and heartache is what brought it here
No more will the world see you my very last tear
For you've taken your last step
Your end is here
[Edited 10/13/06 6:53am]
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Reply #1 posted 10/13/06 9:00am

Lilith

I love it... Its so deep..... Thanx 4 sharing biggrin
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Reply #2 posted 10/13/06 9:24am

DanceWme

Lilith said:

I love it... Its so deep..... Thanx 4 sharing biggrin


Thank You wink
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Reply #3 posted 10/13/06 10:23am

groovyiau

I'm gonna say "I dont like
it" just coz you said I can


I do find that pulling a hair out
of your nose can recreate pain and sometimes a tear...

biggrin
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Reply #4 posted 10/13/06 10:25am

DanceWme

groovyiau said:

I'm gonna say "I dont like
it" just coz you said I can


I do find that pulling a hair out
of your nose can recreate pain and sometimes a tear...

biggrin


lol cool
thanks
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Reply #5 posted 10/13/06 11:22pm

sexxydancer

absolutely beautiful!!
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Reply #6 posted 10/14/06 6:14am

DanceWme

sexxydancer said:

absolutely beautiful!!


Thank you sexxxydancer!
I threw an extra x in ur name for that lol
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Reply #7 posted 10/15/06 9:35am

sexxydancer

Thanx! 1 can never b 2 sexxxy! wink
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Reply #8 posted 10/15/06 10:18pm

EmbattledWarri
or

good use of personification
i honestly can't find anything wrong with it
so thats def a good thing
i think its great!
I am a Rail Road, Track Abandoned
With the Sunset forgetting, i ever Happened
http://www.myspace.com/stolenmorning
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Reply #9 posted 10/16/06 12:28pm

Graycap23

DanceWme said:

Even if u dont like it...let me know



LAST TEAR


A tear goes through a lot before it lands
In the midst of its drop
Before it touches my hands
It sees the world that gave it life
And no longer hides
It has a mind like me and a heart that will soon die
With its last fall to never be seen again
It remembers the struggle
And the pain within
Its last steps are priceless
And shines like gold
It knows it's the last of the hurting soul
It unfolds the past and years of fear
Confusion and heartache is what brought it here
No more will the world see you my very last tear
For you've taken your last step
Your end is here
[Edited 10/13/06 6:53am]



I dig it. Very thoughful.
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Reply #10 posted 10/16/06 8:30pm

DanceWme

EmbattledWarrior said:

good use of personification
i honestly can't find anything wrong with it
so thats def a good thing
i think its great!

wink
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Reply #11 posted 10/16/06 8:31pm

DanceWme

Graycap23 said:

DanceWme said:

Even if u dont like it...let me know



LAST TEAR


A tear goes through a lot before it lands
In the midst of its drop
Before it touches my hands
It sees the world that gave it life
And no longer hides
It has a mind like me and a heart that will soon die
With its last fall to never be seen again
It remembers the struggle
And the pain within
Its last steps are priceless
And shines like gold
It knows it's the last of the hurting soul
It unfolds the past and years of fear
Confusion and heartache is what brought it here
No more will the world see you my very last tear
For you've taken your last step
Your end is here
[Edited 10/13/06 6:53am]



I dig it. Very thoughful.




hug
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Reply #12 posted 10/17/06 11:47am

BeneHaze

avatar

It's a really nice poem biggrin and i encourage u 2 write more.
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Reply #13 posted 10/17/06 12:19pm

DanceWme

BeneHaze said:

It's a really nice poem biggrin and i encourage u 2 write more.


Thank you heart
BTW, I have written lots more
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Reply #14 posted 10/23/06 6:53pm

spicey

I like Purple Rain too! Read mine too in the forums under; org artist community. Look for, Whatever Happen to Fannie Mae?
[Edited 10/23/06 18:55pm]
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Reply #15 posted 10/30/06 8:59pm

loisclark88

avatar

Awesome~

Thanks for sharing~
Everytime I comb my hair
Thoughts of you get in my eyes...

Vous etes tres belle...
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Reply #16 posted 11/01/06 12:14pm

DanceWme

loisclark88 said:

Awesome~

Thanks for sharing~

Thank u wink
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Reply #17 posted 11/02/06 2:57am

BackStagePass

xcellent magery.
tasteful flow.
DIFFERENT...and n the world of poetry it is hard 2 b DIFFERENT.
eye have never felt a flava like urs b4.

props 2 U.

keep writing.
"...and that sez what?"
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Reply #18 posted 11/02/06 4:21am

DanceWme

BackStagePass said:

xcellent magery.
tasteful flow.
DIFFERENT...and n the world of poetry it is hard 2 b DIFFERENT.
eye have never felt a flava like urs b4.

props 2 U.

keep writing.

heart thank u so much
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Reply #19 posted 11/06/06 8:10pm

LadyQ

That was very deep. I can dig it!

LQ
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Reply #20 posted 11/07/06 5:21pm

DanceWme

LadyQ said:

That was very deep. I can dig it!

LQ

hug
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