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Thread started 05/25/06 12:37pm

Milty

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Musicians - how do you handle this one?

the conga player in the band has sent out an email earlier in the week saying that he is quitting the band effective immediately. he made a big ol stink on the email. you could tell he was royally pissed off. but let me say that no one has done anything negative towards him at all. personally i think he is over reacting.

we were going to meet with him tonight to see what the reasons were but now word has gotten round that he might be reconsidering his position. personally, as band director, i don't need him in the band. he's a nice guy and all but his contribution is not necessary. plus he plays too loud.

if wants back in, what do i do?
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Reply #1 posted 05/25/06 1:51pm

yamomma

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I wouldn't even meet with the guy.

Let him know there's no room for that behavior and to come back in a month or two when he has time to think on things.

My opinion.
© 2015 Yamomma®
All Rights Reserved.
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Reply #2 posted 05/25/06 4:46pm

EmbattledWarri
or

Specifically the reason why i don't play in a band anymore,
i hate dealing with ego's.

Drop his ass , he's a Primadonna.
you don't need a bongo player just run a sample lol
I am a Rail Road, Track Abandoned
With the Sunset forgetting, i ever Happened
http://www.myspace.com/stolenmorning
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Reply #3 posted 05/25/06 6:29pm

paisleypark4

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SINCE u just admitted that u dont need one etc. etc.







Point taken.
Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records.
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Reply #4 posted 05/25/06 8:53pm

NuPwr319

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Milty said:

the conga player in the band has sent out an email earlier in the week saying that he is quitting the band effective immediately. he made a big ol stink on the email. you could tell he was royally pissed off. but let me say that no one has done anything negative towards him at all. personally i think he is over reacting.

we were going to meet with him tonight to see what the reasons were but now word has gotten round that he might be reconsidering his position. personally, as band director, i don't need him in the band. he's a nice guy and all but his contribution is not necessary. plus he plays too loud.

if wants back in, what do i do?



I'm going through a similar thing with my band. Guitarist just stopped showing up to rehearsals (missed the last three). My percussionist saw him going to a guitar lesson and he had these "I keep forgetting" excuses (something he told me after missing the first of the three rehearsals). Then he asks her, "Ya'll replaced me?" almost like he was hoping. I'm not even going to call him hmph!. I don't babysit grown folks. So. . .I'm in the market for another guitar player. This ain't an ego thang. . .it was a case of someone being too scared/ unprofessional/whatever to call me and just say that it wasn't working out. Oh, well--one monkey don't stop no show. monkey
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Reply #5 posted 05/26/06 7:48am

DaddySmooth

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let him go! Bands are hard enough to keep together...don't need the ego trips.
U might not like the taste, but I'm still going to stick your face in this Funk
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Reply #6 posted 05/26/06 8:14am

Styles

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EmbattledWarrior said:

Specifically the reason why i don't play in a band anymore,
i hate dealing with ego's.


Co-Sign!

That's exactly why I don't play in a band either....

peace

J-
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Reply #7 posted 05/26/06 1:58pm

jojofran

Similar issues with my band. If your the one keeping everything together then you have to decide what he is worth to you. If it is a band issue then discuss with all the members what he was pissed about. If it is legitimate make the needed adjustments. If not then screw him. Trust me, I have written about the same thing in this forum. I decided to finish my project without anymore vocal adjustments or added raps. Was doing great for 4 months then guess who called? One of the members asking about the music. ????? I decided to let the previous nonsense go and allow him to make more adjustments to his flow on the album. But guess what?? He has just talked and talked and actually only came over one time to record and it was way late. But since I have worked years on this project I'mma just endure it till the album get's mastered and rap it up! What pisses me off is just the whole attitude of folks who ride on other peoples coat tails and expect superstar treatment when they really wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for other folks hard work.
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Reply #8 posted 05/26/06 2:03pm

jojofran

Styles said:

EmbattledWarrior said:

Specifically the reason why i don't play in a band anymore,
i hate dealing with ego's.


Co-Sign!

That's exactly why I don't play in a band either....

peace

J-



What type of mike do you use? And perhaps you could let me know what type of compressor you are using.. I was listening to "soldier of God"... I like the clarity and space on the vocals. Org note me!
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Reply #9 posted 05/26/06 2:44pm

mozfonky

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Styles said:

EmbattledWarrior said:

Specifically the reason why i don't play in a band anymore,
i hate dealing with ego's.


Co-Sign!

That's exactly why I don't play in a band either....

peace

J-

ditto, cept in never played in a band really. even organizing it is a waste of time. Unless you can afford pros theres no point working with musicians these days.
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Reply #10 posted 05/26/06 5:11pm

NuPwr319

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mozfonky said:

Styles said:



Co-Sign!

That's exactly why I don't play in a band either....

peace

J-

ditto, cept in never played in a band really. even organizing it is a waste of time. Unless you can afford pros theres no point working with musicians these days.


Well, now. . .that's not completely true. Seems to me Beau did a good job of summing up the different "types" of musicians here somewhere. . .but I digress. I've found great musicians that I've worked with--including the group I have now ('cept for the aforementioned guitar player). We musicians ain't all bad. . .but we're human. And don't for a minute think you won't have these problems with "pros"!
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Reply #11 posted 05/26/06 5:16pm

talmuzic

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NuPwr319 said:

Milty said:

the conga player in the band has sent out an email earlier in the week saying that he is quitting the band effective immediately. he made a big ol stink on the email. you could tell he was royally pissed off. but let me say that no one has done anything negative towards him at all. personally i think he is over reacting.

we were going to meet with him tonight to see what the reasons were but now word has gotten round that he might be reconsidering his position. personally, as band director, i don't need him in the band. he's a nice guy and all but his contribution is not necessary. plus he plays too loud.

if wants back in, what do i do?



I'm going through a similar thing with my band. Guitarist just stopped showing up to rehearsals (missed the last three). My percussionist saw him going to a guitar lesson and he had these "I keep forgetting" excuses (something he told me after missing the first of the three rehearsals). Then he asks her, "Ya'll replaced me?" almost like he was hoping. I'm not even going to call him hmph!. I don't babysit grown folks. So. . .I'm in the market for another guitar player. This ain't an ego thang. . .it was a case of someone being too scared/ unprofessional/whatever to call me and just say that it wasn't working out. Oh, well--one monkey don't stop no show. monkey

I feel u on his one. guitarist are hard to wrestle down for whatever reason. primadonnas mad
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Reply #12 posted 05/26/06 5:48pm

EmbattledWarri
or

NuPwr319 said:

mozfonky said:


ditto, cept in never played in a band really. even organizing it is a waste of time. Unless you can afford pros theres no point working with musicians these days.


Well, now. . .that's not completely true. Seems to me Beau did a good job of summing up the different "types" of musicians here somewhere. . .but I digress. I've found great musicians that I've worked with--including the group I have now ('cept for the aforementioned guitar player). We musicians ain't all bad. . .but we're human. And don't for a minute think you won't have these problems with "pros"!


The only bands for me, that work are ones built on affection and dependence
one of my first bands when i was just a keyboard player at age 16. was with only personal peers
We we're all friends and each member had something to attribute.
I think Bono said it best "the best bands arent necessarily the best musicians
but depend upon each other to make a band, that's what makes them unique..."

If i ever form a band again, i'd probably do it with musicians i've personally known cause thats the only time its really fun,
other than that i'd rather be solo.
[Edited 5/26/06 17:49pm]
I am a Rail Road, Track Abandoned
With the Sunset forgetting, i ever Happened
http://www.myspace.com/stolenmorning
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Reply #13 posted 05/26/06 11:00pm

mozfonky

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Well, now. . .that's not completely true. Seems to me Beau did a good job of summing up the different "types" of musicians here somewhere. . .but I digress. I've found great musicians that I've worked with--including the group I have now ('cept for the aforementioned guitar player). We musicians ain't all bad. . .but we're human. And don't for a minute think you won't have these problems with "pros"![/quote]

These days with all the technology we have, musicians are not as necessary, but if you hire a pro it is to avoid most of the problems amateurs bring. No one is perfect and nothing is trouble free however, that is why as the boss it's your job to tell them, do what you say or leave. Simple.
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Reply #14 posted 05/27/06 7:33pm

NuPwr319

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EmbattledWarrior said:

NuPwr319 said:



Well, now. . .that's not completely true. Seems to me Beau did a good job of summing up the different "types" of musicians here somewhere. . .but I digress. I've found great musicians that I've worked with--including the group I have now ('cept for the aforementioned guitar player). We musicians ain't all bad. . .but we're human. And don't for a minute think you won't have these problems with "pros"!


The only bands for me, that work are ones built on affection and dependence
one of my first bands when i was just a keyboard player at age 16. was with only personal peers
We we're all friends and each member had something to attribute.
I think Bono said it best "the best bands arent necessarily the best musicians
but depend upon each other to make a band, that's what makes them unique..."

If i ever form a band again, i'd probably do it with musicians i've personally known cause thats the only time its really fun,
other than that i'd rather be solo.
[Edited 5/26/06 17:49pm]



In a way, I agree. The first set of personnel I had in my band were GREAT in terms of personality--no real drama at all. But they didn't produce the sound I wanted and that was also really important to me. So I kept two of the players, fired the rest and hired people who were better musicians--working musicians (my previous bandmates had day jobs). That's when the issues came up, moreso than with the previous band. So I traded one problem (people who were not as musically proficient) for the another (diva-tudes). And these *are* pros in my band (technically, so were the fired bandmates, just not as good).

Ah, well. Thus is the music world we live in.
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Reply #15 posted 05/27/06 10:25pm

mozfonky

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I guess the diva attitudes will go as far as you let them. "What you tolerate is what you encourage" is very true. You, as the boss, have to keep going through people until you find the right ones. That is your job and responsibility. I understand that it's frusturating and time consuming, that is why you treat it as much like a job as possible, get references, negotiate before you start. People are funny, they all play games and most don't want what they say they want. How many times have we met musicians, pro and amateur, who say they want to play or get together and ultimately they want something else when it comes down to it. Sorry to tell you guys but the only way to manage a band is with some autocracy. Use your mouth, that's what it's for, don't walk on eggshells and take care of business. I refuse to even deal with musicians after they show themselves to be flakes, I won't talk to them if I see them or respond to emails or anything. If they are playing because they are just lonely fucks, (and many musicians are) and want to meet people, they need to go elsewhere. If they want potheads or drinking buddies they need to go elsewhere. I think this problem is only as complicated as you make it. Some people like to argue and fight, well tell them to go do that with someone else, that's what I do.
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Reply #16 posted 05/28/06 12:22am

EmbattledWarri
or

NuPwr319 said:

EmbattledWarrior said:



The only bands for me, that work are ones built on affection and dependence
one of my first bands when i was just a keyboard player at age 16. was with only personal peers
We we're all friends and each member had something to attribute.
I think Bono said it best "the best bands arent necessarily the best musicians
but depend upon each other to make a band, that's what makes them unique..."

If i ever form a band again, i'd probably do it with musicians i've personally known cause thats the only time its really fun,
other than that i'd rather be solo.
[Edited 5/26/06 17:49pm]





In a way, I agree. The first set of personnel I had in my band were GREAT in terms of personality--no real drama at all. But they didn't produce the sound I wanted and that was also really important to me. So I kept two of the players, fired the rest and hired people who were better musicians--working musicians (my previous bandmates had day jobs). That's when the issues came up, moreso than with the previous band. So I traded one problem (people who were not as musically proficient) for the another (diva-tudes). And these *are* pros in my band (technically, so were the fired bandmates, just not as good).

Ah, well. Thus is the music world we live in.


i got ya man, when i go on gigs (which i rarely do)
the band i put together are usually just a bunch of hired guns
they do what i tell them, but i feel like a tyrant...
i ask them for their opinions and their afraid to steer clear from the original sheet music...

i usually have a vision when i want to do a song, but i like to get other opinions, cause otherwise i submerge myself in my own ego.
and i am not that good... lol

One day i woant to form a real band...
guys that are just like me, who will respect maybe even like my creative vision
but who arent afraid to say they think something sucks or should be done differently

i guess...
i just want friends not sycophants that think this is a job...
fuck i feel like a sensitive bitch now lol...


"Lonely....im so..."
I am a Rail Road, Track Abandoned
With the Sunset forgetting, i ever Happened
http://www.myspace.com/stolenmorning
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Reply #17 posted 05/30/06 4:03pm

Slave2daGroove

From my experience, and this is recent, it's hard enough to make something work when people's ego's are involved but it's next to impossible when you're trying to make music.

I've recently found this drummer who has the same laid back personality as I do, we share the same view in politics and he WANTS TO FUNK. thumbs up!

So while this drummer is the ideal situation, my twocents is that if you can get along with people on a personal level and you both have a little give and take in your personalities. It helps if your desire to make music is greater than your ego and you can use that as your basis for building a band.

Making music by yourself is fine but sometimes what others bring to the table (musically) takes the whole thing to the next level.
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Reply #18 posted 05/30/06 9:18pm

loveletter

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is it your ego that wants him out of the band or is it your ego that wants him in....

the things i have to deal with just to get people to play with me... u wouldn't believe. sex lies and video tapes...


but the point is.... its about the music and all the ingredients that go into it.

and sometimes its not how loud he plays or how soft... its what he brings to the union all around.

if you don't put eggs in an omelette is it still an omelette

my 1/2 cent.
Special Thanks 2 Paisley Park and The DownLoad Society
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Reply #19 posted 05/31/06 6:09am

beauhall

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talmuzic said:

I feel u on his one. guitarist are hard to wrestle down for whatever reason. primadonnas mad


OW! HEY NOW!!!

Did he send this email to just the band or to everybody out there? Something to avoid is some musician badmouthing you in the music scene, no matter how nutty they are. The best move would be to tell him you've already lined up a replacement because from his e-mail, it seemed very clear that he wasn't going to do it anymore. He'll say he changed his mind, you'll say well damn, that really sucks but there's nothing you can do at this point, the other person has committed.

And when they ask who this other person is? Make up a name. Something european. "Hagg Ulrudd" or something. The goal is to have this guy just go away, not angry, not happy, just go away. The replacement is always the ticket.
www.beaurocks.com Trees are made of WOOD!
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Reply #20 posted 05/31/06 12:04pm

Styles

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jojofran said:

Styles said:



Co-Sign!

That's exactly why I don't play in a band either....

peace

J-



What type of mike do you use? And perhaps you could let me know what type of compressor you are using.. I was listening to "soldier of God"... I like the clarity and space on the vocals. Org note me!


Sorry, I didn't realize that you'd responded to me

I'll definitely orgnote ya!

peace

J-
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Reply #21 posted 06/01/06 8:54am

Adisa

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Man, being in a band really does suck, but at least bands have the advantages of gigging and getting their music out easier than the solo artists. The solo artists either have to be one man bands all the time or pay $$$ for musicians to back them. Still, just thinking about my days in a (boy) band make me ----> shake I agree with Beau. When my band mates left, they did so without even a phone call or an explanation. This was on the day we were to record our first self-produced demo with songs that we'd written. And you know what? I didn't call them either. They knew what time to be there and they knew what it was for. I went right to the studio, recorded the tracks on my own (cuz these fools couldn't even play instruments), and the rest (as they say) is history.

wave
I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired!
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Reply #22 posted 06/01/06 9:11am

beauhall

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Adisa said:

I went right to the studio, recorded the tracks on my own (cuz these fools couldn't even play instruments), and the rest (as they say) is history.
wave

And THAT is the advantage to being a solo artist AND having a band. No matter who doesn't show up, you can cover those retards.
www.beaurocks.com Trees are made of WOOD!
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Reply #23 posted 06/05/06 8:49pm

heartbeatocean

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Whoa, I'm really enjoying this bitch session. lol It's sad and frustrating because I believe one of the most fulfilling and fantastic experiences in life is to play music with other people, not to mention performing with people for people.

But I hear ya. I'm in the punk rock orchestra and you can only imagine how that organization is imploding as we speak. I love playing music, spent a large portion of my life doing it, and am constantly getting the vibe that I'm "uptight" for expecting people to show up for rehearsal, notice dynamic markings, or actually get the notes down. disbelief
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Reply #24 posted 06/12/06 9:25pm

panther514

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No Divas allowed....tell your keyboard player to find the conga patches and let him fill in...your "ex" conga player will be begging to come back when he realizes that there aren't too many gigs available for conga soloists....I give him a week.
"I wasn't invited to shake hands with Hitler, but I wasn't invited to the White House to shake hands with the President, either" ~ Jesse Owens
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Reply #25 posted 06/13/06 10:16am

LadyQ

My favorite are the musicians who place FREE ads in the local music magazines and are expecting Prince or some other famous artist to call them up to go on tour, so they cop an attitude with you when you call to ask them to do restaurant and bar gigs that pay between $60 and $100 a night. You'd think I asked them to do the gig for free. Hello, everybody I know who have gotten the upper class gigs were from word of mouth (someone knowing someone) or being seen playing a $60-$100 a night restaurant/club gig. It's all about who you know!

LQ
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Reply #26 posted 06/20/06 6:34pm

actionthisday

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To quote Freddie Mercury

"The reason band split is because one persons ego is trying to out do the others. If they can't handle it they say "Oh, I'll just go off and make my own album"

sums it up.
'A pillow covered in all our tears'
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