here is all of my second book ME. If u wanna read my first book just email me, love M

Other Books by Mihad Ali

Hard Cover:
Questions ISBN: 1-4116-7551-7

Soft Cover:
Questions ISBN: 1-4116- 4340 -2
ME ISBN: 1-4116- 5695 4































ME
























First published in 2005 by Mihad Ali.

Printed and bound in the United States of America

Copyright © Mihad Ali 2005

ISBN: 1-4116-7550-9


All rights reserved. No part of this publication maybe reproduced or stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Any enquiries are to be made to the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.













To those who love me





















Acknowledgements

To those who tried the negativity game with me…..It didn’t work.



















Special Thanks to Mr. Marques J

ME. Where do I begin. This two letter word gives us a glimpse into what really matters. It all comes down to the fact that your life, your world is just that: yours. I wonder how words can be so powerful. I, WE, YOU, LIFE, LEAD, LOVE, CREATE, INSPIRE, DANCE, MUSIC, US…ME.

Since writing “Questions” I have come to realize something, I will never surrender to the point of fakeness. I will never try to do or say something for the sake of someone else. I won’t limit myself. I will not censor. From this point forward, it will only be about ME.

This book is somewhat a continuation of “Questions” in that I am still asking and I wanted you all to understand the importance of that. If we don’t ask how will we know? Why do you think people get mad at each other and raise voices? It is because they do not have the full picture and they do not want to question.


I’ve always known that it is better to be a leader than a follower. It is now years later that I feel it, I own it. This is neither about them nor how they see me. It is about now and tomorrow, how I see me. All that matters is that I am content with my choices on a whole.


With the first book the reasoning behind things were given to you in an attempt to expand your way of thinking. “ME” will not be so forthcoming. It will be up to you, whether it be with a group you love or alone, to decipher the reasoning behind it all.


Ultimately, it is my life. I choose my actions and in return, I choose my consequences. When we are judged, we are sadly sometimes not just judged on ourselves but all whom we know. When we are judged we will be judged alone, I will be judged on me.








Hope you enjoy the journey…

























Words about Ali
























Memories

When you first found out, you cried and cried
Tried and tried, but you never overcame
No pain, no more, you know that this was God’s will
Hey ma, no more injecting morphine pills

It hurt me to see the pain
Across my mother’s face
Every time the jab pierced her skin
Stop crying Gorgeous Fox
It’ll be okay

In and out almost every week
Walking the halls, coloring and watching TV
Not wanting to touch the bed or you
Being scared of what I might do

Last day was hard
Specially when the medics came
Trying to get you out of bed and hearing the
Screaming of his name.

I don’t know how you endured all the pain again and again
From the X-rays to the chemo, to the needles in your thigh….
Gorgeous Nubian Fox……..It’ll be ok.











You

You said I was nothing,
You said I was a failure
You called me a four eyes freak

You said I was not pretty enough
You called me dumb and stuff
Can’t take these mental attacks anymore!

Are you blind to see that these words hurt me,
If I said all of this to you
Would you like it or would it scar your inner peace and your sanity?

No matter what you say or do, you will never bring me to surrender
Think I forgot , Hell no, I remember!



















I Am

I’m inside out
I’m black and white
Want to always be alone
No playing games
If you like it, great
If you don’t, that’s fine
Nothing fake, all real, all me, all the time
This is who I am

























Approval

Feel like I don’t need your approval
Feel like I don’t need your validation
Trying to be as strong as I can be
Is it best to keep me in my own isolation?



























Tears

These are the tears of heaven
These are the tears of pain
These are the tears of passion
All of these tears in an empty vase
Should a vase be half-empty or full?
I ponder that question constantly
So much for life’s ideologies
Why is the vase empty?
Should I make a start on the race?

























Curiosity

The doors of my mind have been closed to what could have been
The doors of my mind have slowly been opened
Taking in all that I see, thinking about all that I did not see.
What is wrong with all this curiosity?




























Pain

The way our pain continues to recycle itself until we go to see a shrink,
I think we all know when we are on the brink
Deal with your anger once and for all
Then you don’t got to call me anymore

























Pearl

Wanting you to appear in front of me
To lend me a hand, why doesn’t she understand?
Laying down facing each other like strings of white pearls, all shiny and new
With a line down the center separating us two.
Is that why the world is half and half?
Similarities to bring us together, differences that tear us apart, round and round we go only to get back to the start.
Begin to End?
End to Begin?
Circle of life recycling again
























Fear 2

Thunderstorms make me happy
So does the rain
I close my eyes and the blinds
It is then I feel no more pain




























Waste

Waste is what you said it was
Was it really? That reality a waste?
Throw it in the bin, Toss it away
How was it a waste as I was learning not to listen to what you say
Leaving behind what was unjust, unequal of the dark of day















Heart

Breathing gives us heart
Breathing gives us control
Breathing gives us symphony
Breathing gives us control

Control of the minds
Control of our lives
Control of the moment
Control of the spies

Spies of the future
Spies of the past
Grace us with your presence
Peace: you won’t be attacked

Attacked verbally, physically or mentally
I’m going on record to say yes to thee
Being verbally rude and crude is one thing
Mentally just brainwashes your mind
Physically something worse I’d leave behind

Behind the curtain
Behind the door
Behind the carpet
Is the one you’re waiting for…







For the children
For U and I
For all of the globe
To come behind
The cause for woman and mankind

Kind of lovely
Kind of Nice
To play wit you
Don’t have a price

Price to pay for freedom
Price to pay for kindness
Price to pay for love
Is nothing compared to greediness and blindness

Blindness of who?
Of You, of Me?
I don’t think I’m blind
To see what you can but don’t want to see

Seeing the dollar
Looking at the sky
Thinking there is no creator
Money, money, money
You gonna die…











Die, if you do not get a piece
Die, if you crumble and fall
Nothing peachy and sweet
Compared to my apple pie


Pie is full of numbers
Pie is full of fruit
It is only when you punch them in
That you get a brand new suit

Suit you that well
To be reaching for space
Flush the truth down the john
You say the truth is the misplaced disgrace.
















The Box

Carefully placing the box on the ground with much precision and care
Im kinda happy that you are in there
And not here, no more adhering to the emotion of blame
Does he blame you for what happened? I think he might,
Maybe he’s scared of living with you not in his eyesight.
Not drinking up there 1 and 7 you got the day of your birth
Remember when I used to go to church?
Remember the day as yesterday
Listening to the music at home
All of a sudden the lights go out
You’re wrapped in ice, just froze
Till the sun shines
So we can get on our knees and go blind
I went permanently blind from fear of continuing life
What is one hand without the other?
What is a partner all alone, with no other?
Partner, a part of two, you and me
Me and you.

* 2 lines have been taken out















Interests

Have my best interests at heart?
Where we ever meant to be apart?
Smiling in my face and laughing with me
Is this what you’d call positivity so lovingly?
I hate having to be careful of who I tell what to.
Does this ever happen to you?
Who can you trust if not your boos?
You?























Respond

Why don’t people understand?
That others have their own plan
Following orders like a soldier
Eventually he will mold her
She will become his servant
The one who she responds too.
The only one she should respond to is You.
























Pink Sky

Pink Sky
Purple Rain
One shows love
The other pain
Two lovers combined
Intertwined in life
Pink and Purple
Sky and Rain
Opposites attract
The others just play the game























Silent Cries

Moonlight by skies
In the dark
She sees her shadow
In the light
She sees none
All goes around
Back at one
Someone hear her silent screams
Someone come and save her
From the monster……..



























Valentine

Valentine’s day is today
Talent in the vine
Where’s the grape
Is it hiding or gone?
Was this ever fate?

























Emotions

Emotions are they ever what we see?
R they what we don’t see?
Loads of crocodile tears in life
If it doesn’t attack the heart, drop it
Crocodile Tears galore, never hear their heart roar.




























Tear 2

Every tear shed is like a loss all over again
Every tear shed feels like my soul is closer to accept
Your life being alive on the other side
Other side of the ocean
Other side of the sea
Your spirit is always with or nearby me
Whether I’m in Fiji or China
NY or Alaska
You will always be in NJ
Visit you all the time in reality or in dreams
It all is real, to you how does it seem?


















Conversation of the Minds

What do you want to find?
The truth of their feeling
The questions layered peeling
The fakes will send you reeling
Realing for what is real and truthful
Trying to always eat with love the fruitful

























Rain

My heart just dropped into my hand
Am I that bad to stand?
Don’t want to let anyone hear my story
Water running into my bloodstream
From all that indoor rain
I adore you, I do but
Why give me all that pain?
























Man/Woman

Man is music
Woman is words
I am you upside down
U and I in reverse
Can you hurry up and get out of town?
M to the M
W to the W
Rivers and streams is what they can make together
As well as E’s
Do you think you truly see?























Obvious Question

A few driving lessons with an instructor
I ask and ask and ask
Driving was ok, I parked
“You ask the most obvious questions”, he said
At least it was a question right.
Are you paid to teach?
Or are you a “teacher” in order to get pay?
Is there such a thing as an obvious question
What’s better an order or a suggestion?























Run Away

What if I had run away and you found me?
Would you hug me and tell me that it is ok
Or
Would you yell and scream till your lungs got sore?
































Paint means love

Resting my paint brush on the easel
Getting up to paint another picture
What will be the subject of my art this time?
To paint means to love?



















Cover

Laying my head on my pink pillow
Being covered by my pink quilt cover
My head is spinning
Am I really being covered by my quilt or
Am I being covered up by my emotions?
Is my true self being bombarded with other people’s junk?
Cold trying to become warm
I wrap myself in-between the lovers
Is this my safety net
Is that what I need?
To be trapped up in the warmth of someone’s love to feel warmth
Hugging myself tight, I close my eyes
Will I be ok tonight?
When tomorrow comes what will I be?
Wrapped up in warmth of love, Will you ever leave?















Closing the Door

All these works need to be displayed
Where all can see when they walk into the room
If I close the door on these beauties, things that make me feel alive and worthy what is left of me.
Walk in closets are so much better
At least I see what I have
I can pick and choose what I’d like to wear
Closing the door on most things means not wanting to see, to believe, to acknowledge it
Closing the door to the other world
Closing the door of my mind to my occupation and
Opening it up to calmness and meditation
Closing and blocking the anxiety of fear
Unless we have to, we should never close the door
Closing the door to the past, opening it wide to the future
The things I love should be open for all to see




















Truth

The truth
Are we able to define it?
Is truth a rut that we can escape from
That we can get ourselves out of?
My truth, your truth , their truth, the global truth?
Everything starts at home in one’s soul
I have to be honest with me before I try
and take the realness of being honest outside where I can help other people.
In that sense, does honesty equate truth?






















Devour

Wanting once more to eat my emotions
Mind twisting and turning over what I should do
Go to Subway with my Green Iced tea, devour you?
Stay silent in the 4 corners of my room?
























Affair

Some days and nights a week
I’m supposed to be with you
I turn this into more, because I can’t resist
Like became love
And when you love you can’t give in
This is what you have wanted for a long time
To be held
Starting off liking and you change your mind
“why do we veer of track”
We find the other more alluring and mesmerizing
U find comfort, joy, acceptance, approval
U stay as long as it is pleasurable

It was 4 years.

















Days and minutes pass, where I can c myself somewhere else
Sometimes I feel I can do whatever I put my mind 2
Sometimes I feel as though I am alone and I can’t
Writing of aloneness, is there a rulebook that states it
R we alone coming in, living and leaving?
I suppose it depends on the situation, some of us, sadly
are brought in alone, no one to care.
Others are brought in with people who say they care but often spend numerous hours alone and some are brought in here with people who have hearts of gold.
Living alone.
Have a place all to yourself? Sharing a place but living alone inside.
Leaving: Our bodies placed in a confined space….(Where do our spirits go?)














Taking other people’s lives

Taking other people's lives.
What does that mean?
That I physically kill someone
Someone can't be killed from the inside?
It can't be an inside job?
We only care when someone is not there in the flesh
Why?
Placing pressure only on physical death
Looking at what it is only on the outside, not caring about within
Emotions can die, sometimes life is death unless you turn it around.
We ALL die more than once, We ALL have ups and downs
Death in the sense that one knows is overrated.
Sure we all one day are not going to be here, BUT
think: How many times you have died?
ME: Plenty


Many people have taken my life on numerous occasions
It is up to me to take it back and OWN IT!













Come again

Come again rain
To the days where everything was wet
Come again mama
Back when we were together
Come again trust
Did that ever really happen?
Come again NY
When I was happy
Come again love
People that adore and bring me joy
Come again love
Come again love
Come again love
Come back home






















Calm

Sitting in the car, reading a book
The tree above me giving me shade
Cool, calm winds rushing up to greet me
Laying back in the chair, deep breaths
For the first time I feel free
More cold winds say hello, they obviously agree with me.

























Haven

Place where you go to escape?
Haven
Place where you go to play games?
Haven
Place where you go to be you
Haven
Room where you are on cloud 9
With your thoughts, your mind, your conscious.
We are never alone
It is only when my freedom is taken away that I am alone.



















Room

Does it have 2 be 4 walls, it can’t be an open space?
I have 2 be put in 4 walls so I don’t escape
I have to be put in 4 walls so like a lion, I don’t roam free
I do as my master says
No mind of my own these days
Can a caged bird sing?
Can a lion cry?
Can a ladybug whisper?
All these questions are my picture






















He came back

Hands shaking,
Swerving from side to side
Palms sweating,
Heart beating,
Anxious
Mind on fire
Feelings of death…numbness
Nervousness
Heavy breathing… all cause he came back





















Every time

Everytime you both yell at me I ask
What am I gonna do
Everytime you put me down, I know
I’m probably gonna fail you
Everytime something is blamed on me,
It is just one more thing you have to look in the mirror to see.
You even admitted that you do that,
Laughed it off as “something you can’t help”
When you understand, if ever that I am my own person.
If I follow you like a dog, always on your tail
What will I lead?
Where will I go?






















Don’t wanna hear

I don’t want to hear anymore screaming ,yelling or fights
Don’t want to run to my room and hide no more
Let me be me
Leave your criticism and hypocrisy at the door
That’s why I wanna move out, leave this place.
Get my own place, run free, and fill my own space



























Ask or tell?

Ask me or tell me in a nice tone?
Do most of what you say
Gets done and you start to criticize, why?
What’s worse: That I am doing it
Or
That you cannot!




















Why can’t anyone see all of this happening to me?
Treat me right
Treat me the same way
So much for equal pay
Down of my luck
Treating me strangely
No thanks to the hate that you gave me.
After all these questions, Am I still yours?
Did you ever love me to begin with?
A star pupil, great grades at school, although a bit rude.
A star gal, friendly and cute although crappy grades at school.
Which one do you love?
1st born is always gonna be a failure?
2nd one will turn out fine
If you ain’t a doctor, you ain’t nothing
Fine, 100 percent, no race against the clock
No having to play tic-toc




















Book

Reading you from front to back
Loosing my mind being sucked into a different world
It is inspiring, teaches you that there is always more, you can always be better.
Every sentence, every phrase, every word pops like I’ve never seen.


















What is going on?

What is going on?
I can’t breathe
I can’t think
I’m losing control
I want this
I’m scared
What is going on?

My soul is pouring out of my chest
Am I 2 stressed?
Am I placing 2 much pressure on myself?
My soul is pouring out of my chest
What is going on?
I’m driving myself insane
What is going on?

Banging my head against the glass
Want to smash my head in and die
I’ve died before, what is the big deal if I die again?




















Can’t Sleep

Can’t sleep bad dreams. Wake up!
Write
Stay awake for 10mns or so
I go back 2 bed
Why does it take getting up and “working” to put me back to sleep more calmly then I woke?

























Eating

Eating my pain again
Eating my sorrow once more
Driving, music blazing
Wish my soul would show me the door.
Tell me to come back when I feel better
Right now.tell me to get lost…





















Do

Do some of life’s problems have scripted answers?
Someone dies and they all gather round and say
“I’m sorry. I understand”
You do something good they all say
“Congrats, well done”
Again the same question.
Why do we get the answers that we do?
Is there a notebook of answers to life’s unanswered questions?
Word 4 word, same responses are given
Is it an answer or just a response
You don’t know what to say, you look at the book
Book of other people’s lives
Don’t know why you are saying it but you are just cause others are
Do we ever get the real truth?











Shower

Lines of water falling fast onto the ground
What does it do? What sound does it make?
Pouring onto me getting all wet
Running for cover inside, wanting the rain to stop
Calming down a little bit, relief is coming my way
My mind is somewhat relaxed.
It stops all I hear are the sounds of the gutter and cars speeding past
Beginning again this time with lightening, the more water comes down, the more liberated, excited I feel.
I’m on top of the world with all the winds and water.
Clouds are grey. Everything’s dripping.

Rain is my shine
Something that makes me feel warm, comforted, thankful, inspirational.
Everytime I feel I’m Starting Over again.
Introducing a calmer, peaceful, open-minded me.


We control whether we want to open ourselves up?
Water falling on me, appreciating the light’s mysteries.
Turning it on and off is a metaphor for our ability to see all of life.
If we turn the knob and be thankful
In return we’ll get wonders










Creation of the color line

Do we?
Do I create my own limitations?
I was somewhat of a latchkey kid, the TV raising me
All that I see I believed
Images on the TV screen, opinions given, screwed in my brain
All of these people “asking” me what I thought
Do I create all the different colors in my mind?
Is color really that deep?
Is it just an appearance, shallow?
Judging on the outer, isn’t it sadly what we are about?
We are sometimes taught this behavior…

I’ve learned a year ago that I have to say goodbye to the creation of my color lines.














Rose Lute V

This gift is very precious, it is not just something you get
I believe it has to be earned not given
If it is given to all who you meet you are playing their hearts?
Simple melodies invite more value
4 roses and the music slow has to equate the synonym of it
It begins and never ends even after you’re done.
It stays in your head forever: real, classic, exceptional
You call and ask if you can hear more music and smell the roses time and time again, even if the owners seem annoyed that you are always calling.

At least you know they love what you have.


















Night

The night
Dark, black sometimes blue, clear white half moon
The night
Calm, peaceful, silence, relaxation
The night
NO yelling, screaming, fighting, no anxiety
The night
Silhouettes of trees, branches and leaves
3.30am he’s up, stomach’s a mess
It is only the night when I really see
The night
I can breathe I am free





















Express

I can’t be late, have to be on time
Which route do I take long or short way?
Long way has traffic lights and detours
Short is quicker, no lights, everyone knows me cause I speed
Sitting in my office thinking about the beginning of the journey today
Should I have taken the shorter way, get there faster no time to think
No, I’m glad I took the longer way, I did it my way.



















Worthless

Why do you do that?
Is that a way of making me feel guilty
I’m worthless
What’s worse you ask
Physical or verbal abuse
3 triangles, isosceles, acute and obtuse
Using one as your happy mask
How does that make you feel
Great
And me?
U don’t care
Fly up fly down
Around in sadness and despair
Des pair of you, I see?
Ain’t that what has really gotten you
Trippin’ like a bumblebee.



















Genocide

Am I really gonna make it
Can any of this be used for song?
Only when it’s time I suppose
Are any of my words wrong?
I love what I write
I’m not about to be a recording artist anytime soon
Who is gonna see or use my words
Might as well throw you , put you all aside
Is this my own personal genocide?

















Helpless

When he said what he said
I died inside
Is that what you really think?
Is that how you really feel?
That Because of me
U couldn't live your life
Thank You 4 making me feel guilty
She left, u took care of me,
U asked if u could remarry, i didn't want 2 loose u
There is no replacing her, ever, i was young then and older now
So it is my fault that u didn't live ur life
Ur wife will always b one, her and only her.
It is always my fault isn't it?
when things don't go ur way, I get the blame.
WHY R U TORTURING ME?

Maybe it is my fault? Save me, somebody, please.
from all this chaos and misery.
















Key

The Key enters the hole
A soul entering another soul
Turn it to the right
And you will see the night
Turn it to the left
UR up for theft
Twist and your life will begin
It is only you who says when


























Games

Why today, i don't know
but this game of trying
2 be nice and friendly
all of a sudden seems
strange to me.
Since when do u have any nerve or audacity
to say all you say in front of your lover.




























Personality

I now have a personality ?
Cause I sang in front of all
Before that what did you think of me?
That I was boring, have no opinion
have no dreams, was I just a physical thing.
Not a hint of a person, not a hint of life,
nor a hint of a mind, that is working to fight.



















Save Me

Please save my soul
I need u 2
Please save my creations
I need u 2
U r the only one
who knows me, in and out
4 that , I need u 2 hear me shout
I have no other way out
many entrances, no other exit,
This is so hard
being in a place behind invisible bars
There r there but they cannot c them
I am the only one who sees
I am the only one who has committed a crime
Going against my authority figures
Will be tough, I don't think I can
Please man save me, let you save me whole.


















Your eyes

Ur eyes staring in2 mine
with intensity and passion
I will never 4get the love
yours is mine
Almond eyes, brown eyes
The glimpse of hope 4 me in ur eyes shinin'
Are u trying 2 tell me something, 2 free me?
Everytime I look at u, looking back at me
I c endless positivity, love, life and creativity.


























Used 2

I used to write like others
Now I write like me
Behold all I now write
What my eyes see.
























Scared


I’m scared of all life has to offer
I’m scared of getting the answer
I’m scared of having my heart broken again

Scared of life after death
Scared of losing it
Scared of seeing my mother after so long



Want someone to be here
Want someone to care
Want someone to hold me
Want someone to tell me that they’ll be there
Want someone to kiss
Want someone to honestly give a sh*!.

Is this wrong of me?


















Lonesome

Saline falling down her face
As if she were in the ocean
Hitting her cheek as she mourns
Telling herself to stop as the memories keep pouring out
Ballin in the dark
Being lonesome is her life’s catch


























Canvas

Black canvas
Blank piece of paper
We all need inspiration
To maintain the creative skyscraper

























Flood

Flood of emotions rushing to my head
Should I laugh or cry?
Should I be happy or sad?
I think I will just run to my bed and cry instead






















Master

Are you my master?
Why do I need
2 tell u all that I do?
Let the air out of the balloon
you will go faster.
Does telling you all
feel you up with pride.
Is that cool?
I come 2 u for guidance
not pain
If I tell you nothing
the pain will go away.
In my subconscious I know,
i think u care.
I like my secrets
as I've said before
Through and through
is the 24kt gold door.
Secrecy is what I like
U can say it's part of my job
To tell no one, say nothing
Not even to try to turn the knob.



















Angel

Come to me my angel
Come to me my love
In desperation of being unwanted
I am now a white dove.




















What If

What if I had taken
a different road,
where would I be?
What if I had taken
a different path,
what would I see?
If I changed the route
that I had took,
would I be here?
Would I be in the present
days, where music is my life.
Or in a lab, with a doc's coat,
riding a car this day.
Have I thrown all my life
away, because I am concentrating
on you?
Do I go back, leave and love you?













Serenity

Coming down to the level of a dog, just above the sea
Leaning back of bricks of cement: a studio behind me, vacant green grass to the side, in front of me boardwalk and the calm green blue water that sometimes sounds like it’s crying

As I write this cool winds brush up against my face, suddenly continuous crying is what I hear but I can’t see.
Leaves, banners flapping in the wind, the crying continues in rapid succession, Where is it coming from I wonder
Wind gets stronger, concrete is cold, adore it.
Hi Strong winds, nice to meet you: lift me off the ground and carry me away.
Half of me is in the shade, the other in the sun sitting in-between two worlds
Which one is right for me?...













The Color Turquoise to the North-East/East when I look up at the sky above the houses rooftops.

At eye level to the side of me is more color, fuscia and lavender to be exact all surrounded by greenery.

I could stay here by the water forever, all of today
I think I’ve found my new hiding/loving/relaxing spot

Little birdie comes over so close I can see her furry coat, looks me straight in the eye and says her goodbyes









* 3 lines have been left out















Torture

Turn it on, turn the knob
It falls down quick with rapid speed
Why do I use it even though it’s warm outside
To me it’s my form of torture?
Torturing my skin, torturing my soul
Torturing myself for staying in the negative place I’m in.
In the end comes my skin, ticklish and red
It is only when I turn the other knob that the calm sets in


























Secrets

So far, the only one who knows all is you
I love you because my secrets will remain in between the pages of your mind.


























Nightmare

Awake from a nightmare
Light pink sky outside
What’s your number he says
38 area code?
212 she says
938 he corrects
He tries to kill her
Running through her tiny apt 1st night alone
What happens…
Death
Was told she lives in a great neighborhood with lovely people to look after her.
What happens?
Scary, Frightening never seen before
Things that you only see in a movie





















Chopping up a salad, she wanted to speak
Then she put the knife to me.
Ran into the bathroom, locked the door,
Thought she wanted to kill me for sure.






























Either way don't we still hold, feel and touch
our scars, a reminder that we visualize, we hear
we speak and we smell?
Those that abuse should go to hell or get help?



























I will be the best person I can be
You will never be in my memory
Years, days of not trusting me
I promise my life will be content without you
It will be filled with value and worth
Looking forward to the future?
Can’t wait to escape the cell






























Wanting it to be a constant blackout
Do not want to shed more than 2 tears
In fear of losing my concentration
Never did like receiving laudation

























Suicide

Thinking about committing suicide
The pain hurts so much, I can’t stand it
Depression makes me want to just go for it
Not a care in the world
Getting home one day, I’m home alone
The kitchen I see, open the drawer
Suddenly in my hand is a knife
Taking it and almost slicing my wrist
WOW, it’s a rush of blood to the head
Feels great, Sense of calm appears, it feels right
Doing that for days afterwards
I’ve found my release….Finally





























Thoughts






























Windows, Mirrors, Water


Reflections


Mindows, Wirrors, Mater






























Will I ever be good enough?

































Be strong

































When you love you never forget




























Was it that hard to love me































I am never doing that again




























It is only when my freedom is taken away that I am alone






























I will never live alone




























A change can only come from me



























Complex and complex don't mix, they repel like 2 positive ends of a magnet




























Blackmail is mental abuse.




























I have to tell the truth





























What am I afraid of, you ask.




























Not to see color, religion, ethnicity
Means you are a citizen of the world

what do you think?

I can't begin to read that because I hate scrolling slow and the space between everything is the problem for me.

Can you pull a couple of your favs, delete the space in between so I can check it out?