I must confess, I like my work to be critiqued

I'm just gonna go all out on this one. I'll post the song link, tell the story behind it, post the lyrics - the whole shebang! Feel free to critique the musicianship, production, lyrics, etc. Be honest so I can make the song better/finish the song. Thanks!

This was recorded on my iMac with GarageBand and my new Edirol interface. All on the computer - no Zoom this time.

Song link first: http://www.soundclick.com...ID=3438772

Song Title: Why Do You Give Your Love Away (For Free)?

Background: I wrote this song in response to all the young girls who must have low self-esteem and are looking for love. Instead they end up just giving it up to these scumbag guys that are just looking for...well, you know - fun.

Lyrics:

Chorus: Little girl, why do you have to give your love away for free?
I can't understand it
Little girl, beauty lies within the sense of urgency in which
you command it

Verse: The dogs start creeping when the sun goes down
Daddy never knew ya and mama ain't around
fulfillment is something you're desperately missing

But love isn't something that's gonna be found
In the back of a car or by sleeping around
or hear from the lips of who you've been kissing

Bridge: They don't even know you
They don't want to know you
They'll never know you...no, no

Chorus: Little girl, why do you have to give your love away for free?

Outro: Daddy never loved ya, no, daddy never loved ya at all...

That was actually really good.
I like the music alot, and the lyrics weren't bad either
Kinda mushy, but thats a good thing

the little banjo(?) part at the end was very random, but I liked it

I like Obligatory Sex Ballad better though

thekidsgirl said:

Thanks. This one is kinda different than the others. Listen to Rub My Pants...you'll see!

Ignore this thread, then!

I like the production on this one best of all. Your overall sound has improved 100 fold. I like the song especially the Claire Fisher string sounds. Great job dude.

talmuzic said:

Thanks, Tal. I used a totally different beast on this one. It sounds much cleaner than before.

artist08 said:

thekidsgirl said:

Hey! I'm sensitive...lol.

Sounds good!

Nice job. I like the harmonies and the vibraphone. Nice job with mixing the guitars and everything.


[Edited 2/5/06 14:49pm]

thekidsgirl said:

What is that banjo thing? I wonder if it was supposed to be there.

VinaBlue said:

I just threw it in to see if people pay attention after they think the song is over. It's my new thing, I guess. Lol.

Thanks for listening, Vina!

Why is it that, even thought it's been sooooo dead in here lately, when I post a new song like six other people end up posting theirs right after? Dayum! Usually Beau's good for that, but since he's big time now he's having Garth Brooks' old people write hits for him.

This is more like a folk song. I can see the video: A little boy and girl palyin around in the grass in the 60's or sumthin...sunny..some parts in b/w some in gritty color. Clips of u and the band singin the song in the grass and around the backyard .

paisleypark4 said:

Thanks, Isaiah...I think

I like the mix and harmonies - really very nice job! Not so sure about the banjo. But I like the rest a lot.

I'd buy this before buying the last few Prince records, and I suspect his budget's slightly higher than yours. More ain't necessarily more to me (it's usually less)

I just added the banjo loop at the end to see if people still pay attention by the end. I never intended for it to stay

Thanks for the kind words!

Hahah this is good.

It reminds me a lot of Ween.

I think I said that about your stuff before.

You should buy/hear the White Pepper album by Ween to see what I mean by that - very similar vocal sound.

Your productions have improved tenfold... the banjo is unnecessary though, but I see what you were going for.


.
[Edited 2/13/06 3:00am]

artist08 said:

Yeah man..it sounds like a campy 'smokin weed' tune.