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Thread started 10/18/05 2:28pm

funxgroove

My song! Please critique

Hi. I finally found a site with people addicted to the funk just like me. Hard to find around people my own age (27). Anyways, I'm a writer/composer, entirely self-taught. Here's one of my songs, lyrics only. I haven't figured out how to put my music on here. Now I know that I'm not as lyrically proficient as his Purple Badness, but I try. Constructive critism is welcome (Please be kind. I'm fragile- ha ha ha). Actually, if it sucks, then say it sucks. Would'nt be any fun if everyone was PC. Thanks in advance.




Fast Cars Pretty Things

Fast Cars Pretty Things
Didn’t know my love had a price
Movie stars Diamond rings
And the fancy shit U don’t wear twice
Always knew you wanted to make it in Hollywood
But can’t act well enough for a silent role
Don’t sing a lick but you know you look good
So you decided that you would sell sell your soul
For the

(Chorus)
Fast Cars Pretty Things
Does it make you happy baby
Really happy baby
Fast Cars Pretty Things
Come on back to me baby
Come on back to me baby

Fast Cars Pretty Things
Got the world in the palm of your hand
More paper in the bank than you had ever seen
But being poor in love wasn’t part of the plan
Can afford to buy anything your pretty little mind can think of
But found out a big house don’t make a home
You a freak too baby but when’s the last time U made love
Can’t sex yourself out of feeling alone

(Chorus)

Bridge:
U had it mama but U threw it away
But found out the price of fame was too high to pay
Whatcha gonna do baby
Whatcha gonna do
Better make up your mind before U blow away
Go home baby, Go home little girl
Come home baby, Come home little girl
[Edited 10/18/05 14:36pm]
[Edited 10/18/05 14:38pm]
"You better not ever say an unkind word about the motherfuckin Time" Jay, from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
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Reply #1 posted 10/18/05 2:40pm

talmuzic

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looks like a jam. now to hear it would be better. peace
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Reply #2 posted 10/18/05 3:05pm

funxgroove

talmuzic said:

looks like a jam. now to hear it would be better. peace


Thank you! Man, I'm not with the whole "upload your music thing" yet. It's hard bein broke baby.
"You better not ever say an unkind word about the motherfuckin Time" Jay, from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
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Reply #3 posted 10/19/05 6:18pm

talmuzic

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what equipment do u have?
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Reply #4 posted 10/20/05 7:19am

funxgroove

talmuzic said:

what equipment do u have?


Um...none. I don't even know where to start. confused
"You better not ever say an unkind word about the motherfuckin Time" Jay, from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
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