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Thread started 12/21/04 4:25am

Sinnott

Finalised writings, please critique

Thanks guys, please tell me what you think. Cheers, Sin





Esther and Bobby



She knows his place
She knows his style
Can’t stay the night
Won’t go the mile

More than a player
This girls the game
Cake with a cherry
Legs with a brain
Flick the curves
Turn spark to flame
It must be a curse
She drives him insane
That sexaliscious stride
Pretty girl smile
Perfect hips and hair so wild

She doesn’t want a man
Been single for a while
But he’s mesmerised by beauty
Dragonfly to child
Just wants one date, he feels its time
Missed one to eight, he’s on cloud nine
A love so blind
Can’t see a thing
Doesn’t know where he’s going
Forgot where he’s been
The heart is drumming
His song so sad
It’s more than a solo
A choir with a band
Second finger in
There’s no ring on that hand
Emotions so strong
Doesn’t know where he stands
She plays him a little
And It’s driving him crazy
Even at best
Only a definite maybe
Nether the less
He wants her loving
He wants her babies
Sell his soul to the devil
To have this lady

He knows her place
He knows her style
But he lacks the might
Won’t see the aisle
[Edited 12/21/04 4:26am]
[Edited 12/21/04 4:27am]
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Reply #1 posted 12/21/04 4:33pm

FrankAxtell

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Sinnott said:

Thanks guys, please tell me what you think. Cheers, Sin





Esther and Bobby



She knows his place
She knows his style
Can’t stay the night
Won’t go the mile

More than a player
This girls the game
Cake with a cherry
Legs with a brain
Flick the curves
Turn spark to flame
It must be a curse
She drives him insane
That sexaliscious stride
Pretty girl smile
Perfect hips and hair so wild

She doesn’t want a man
Been single for a while
But he’s mesmerised by beauty
Dragonfly to child
Just wants one date, he feels its time
Missed one to eight, he’s on cloud nine
A love so blind
Can’t see a thing
Doesn’t know where he’s going
Forgot where he’s been
The heart is drumming
His song so sad
It’s more than a solo
A choir with a band
Second finger in
There’s no ring on that hand
Emotions so strong
Doesn’t know where he stands
She plays him a little
And It’s driving him crazy
Even at best
Only a definite maybe
Nether the less
He wants her loving
He wants her babies
Sell his soul to the devil
To have this lady

He knows her place
He knows her style
But he lacks the might
Won’t see the aisle
[Edited 12/21/04 4:26am]
[Edited 12/21/04 4:27am]
Very nice play on words... now put a funky Jimi Hendrix vibe to it and it will shine...there are so many things you could do with this lyric
"Study and show yourself approved"
© 2011 Frank Axtell ®
All Rights Reserved.
http://www.soundclick.com...tent=music

www.frankaxtell.com

www.myspace.com/frankaxtell
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Reply #2 posted 12/22/04 9:34am

Sinnott

I consider that to be such a huge compliment - thank you very much biggrin
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