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Thread started 09/23/04 9:29pm

artist08

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New demo on Soundclick - rough, need feedback!

I'd been thinking about doing a keyboard driven sexy ballad type of thing for a while, but since my band doesn't have many slow numbers in the reportoire I thought I'd get on the ball. I've posted the demo on Soundclick for you to critique and help me out with. I'm going to make my keyboard player come up with something that sounds much better. Here's some standout lyrics:

I can make it real nice or the freakiest shit you ever saw/
Or I can pull some Kobe shit that'll make you call the law

Enjoy!

It's called "Obligatory Sex Ballad"
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Reply #1 posted 09/23/04 9:47pm

mrdespues

I thought this song had a good feel....but I couldn't tell whether it was serious or tongue in cheek as the Prince-ness in the vocals is rather close to plagiarism, to be honest.

That said, I see that this is a rough demo and that you know that it needs some work...my suggestion to you is this: I think you should really find your own voice within the sex ballad realm and steer away from Princey unless you're going for tongue-in-cheek, which as I said, I'm not sure whether you are or not.

Overall, an A for effort, a B for sound overall and a C for originality.

Hope I haven't been too harsh!
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Reply #2 posted 09/23/04 9:51pm

artist08

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mrdespues said:

I thought this song had a good feel....but I couldn't tell whether it was serious or tongue in cheek as the Prince-ness in the vocals is rather close to plagiarism, to be honest.

That said, I see that this is a rough demo and that you know that it needs some work...my suggestion to you is this: I think you should really find your own voice within the sex ballad realm and steer away from Princey unless you're going for tongue-in-cheek, which as I said, I'm not sure whether you are or not.

Overall, an A for effort, a B for sound overall and a C for originality.

Hope I haven't been too harsh!



I'd hoped that it would be more obvious that it was tongue-in-cheek. If the name didn't give it away I was hoping the lyrics that I posted would. Thanks for the feedback.
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Reply #3 posted 09/23/04 10:10pm

mrdespues

artist08 said:

mrdespues said:

I thought this song had a good feel....but I couldn't tell whether it was serious or tongue in cheek as the Prince-ness in the vocals is rather close to plagiarism, to be honest.

That said, I see that this is a rough demo and that you know that it needs some work...my suggestion to you is this: I think you should really find your own voice within the sex ballad realm and steer away from Princey unless you're going for tongue-in-cheek, which as I said, I'm not sure whether you are or not.

Overall, an A for effort, a B for sound overall and a C for originality.

Hope I haven't been too harsh!



I'd hoped that it would be more obvious that it was tongue-in-cheek. If the name didn't give it away I was hoping the lyrics that I posted would. Thanks for the feedback.


oh ok...sorry! my bad...i can dig that it is tongue in cheek....that was my first impression actually...it reminded me of ween or beck doing a prince pastiche....in that case, very good! i guess i assume that this being a prince site, a lot of people wanna sound like him...but if you're going for humour, then cool! hope i didn't offend! i'm going to download now to hear it properly bearing the humour in mind (only heard it in lo-fi before cause of my damn modem).
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Reply #4 posted 09/24/04 1:03pm

artist08

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Yeah, this is pretty much me doing Beck doing Prince, but in a retarded sort of way. I guess that unless the vocals are clear you could lose that. I have a problem with vocal clarity, methinks.
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Reply #5 posted 09/24/04 1:37pm

mrdespues

artist08 said:

Yeah, this is pretty much me doing Beck doing Prince, but in a retarded sort of way. I guess that unless the vocals are clear you could lose that. I have a problem with vocal clarity, methinks.


i downloaded it last night and here's what i think:

the whole idea is great, it just needs to me cleaned up a little and I think with some definite sections to the song, it will be great.

also, i found your production just a little trebley...i think there needs to be more mid-range and bottom end to make it fatter and perhaps a little compression...

as i say, the concept is cool..."obligitory sex ballad" reminds me of debra-era beck, definitely, but you bring your own sound to it too in a more authentic way which is good but is also why i got a little confused at first as to whether it was a joke or not....i paid attention to the lyrics more this time though (yeah they were hard to hear without headphones, especially playing it lo-fi) and i thought they were very dry...very droll and black in their humour. good work there!

overall, i change my rating to this:

A for effort, B for sound overall and B for originality. So, pretty good...can't wait to hear the completed version!

thumbs up!
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Reply #6 posted 09/25/04 5:56am

7salles

It is very cool, the melodies and the singing and all adn the concept, it does remember Beck - Debra, and Prince in a funny way. But I think you need more layers of instruments and a more polished production on this, but as it is just a demo, it is pretty good.
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Reply #7 posted 09/25/04 6:47am

artist08

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7salles said:

It is very cool, the melodies and the singing and all adn the concept, it does remember Beck - Debra, and Prince in a funny way. But I think you need more layers of instruments and a more polished production on this, but as it is just a demo, it is pretty good.


Yep, I posted it, actually, so that my keyboard player could hear it and improve it for me. Therefore I kinda stripped all the other crap away (except I thought it could use the guitar riffs so it wouldn't sound TOO empty). I just need to know that it's interesting enough as a song to continue to work on it or start over from scratch.
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Reply #8 posted 09/27/04 12:31pm

artist08

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Ok, ignore this thread.



















Yes.....perfect!


























LOL
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Reply #9 posted 09/27/04 6:26pm

talmuzic

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I like it. I admire anyone who can come up with a reasonable Prince-like song. It is almost like copying a DaVinci or Rembrandt....good effort. Keep up the direction you have been going in lately.You have been surprising me in a good way. cool
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Reply #10 posted 09/28/04 7:50am

artist08

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Thanks, Tal!
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Reply #11 posted 09/28/04 7:55am

artist08

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Thanks, Tal!
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