NPGMUSICCLUB said:


(The latest e-mail response from Prince's online music club written by the one and only YODA!)




This just in, Yoda, of the Star Wars saga has been reported coming in and out of Paisley Park. From far away, it was thought to be prince himself, but a little closer look, we've found that there is a new employee of equal height working for the NPGMC customer support center and this is what we found out...















After the first trillogy, yoda hit rock bottom. His image, voice, and character made Lucas Films millions of dollars while our hero yoda was found pennyless.



He tried his luck with star trek, after the first trilogy was completed, but was sadly regected.





After his arrest outside Knoxville, Tennessee for public exposure and lewd conduct, charges were soon dropped due to the fact that the law partains to a human violation and well Yoda "just ain't human".



This sparked the first public confessions of yoda to the press. He began making statements that he hasn't seen a dime from Lucas Films for any of the Star Wars films.

Or in Yoda's words: "dime... not one from Lucas have come."

Not once has Yoda recieved any royalties from Lucas Films.



Lucas Films stated these statements are true, but cannot concievably put a non-human on the payroll. "Did Mr. Ed, Lassey, or Flipper get compensation? Yes, they did, but it wasn't in dollars."

"We've fed him well and cleaned his cage every day" says Lucas. "What more does he want?"



"more want I?" says Yoda...

Yoda has since stated that this unfair treatment of non-human actor's have led him to join the artist currently known as Prince('s) fight against unfair treatment of artists.

Yoda reports that Lucas Films owes him millions in back pay and royalties not only from the films, but the vast "collectables". Unfortunately Yoda did sign a contract with Lucas Films agreeing to his current wages or wage(less)'s.


Although Yoda still recieves no money from Prince's camp Paisley Park, he does however have food and shelter and a steady job earning such accomodations by working for Prince's online music club: NPGMC, under the customer support desk.



When contacted, Paisley Park had "no information on that at this time".








[This message was edited Mon Nov 18 15:07:28 PST 2002 by yamomma]

ONA-Live... I have 2 U soon...
Ready... they R not...
Un-clear is the force on this one.
Face it, you must...

Anger, do not give into...
Will order, only delay...

Re-join club. Get CD's faster you will. But only if rejoin club you do...

More information on that, I do not.

-Yoda-

See what all the waiting does to people?

The main reason for slow response in NPGMC replies:




Here you can see yoda typing out his latest reply to a concerned NPGMC member.

Here's yoda uploading our new files:

Yoda on coffee break.



[This message was edited Tue Nov 19 5:28:48 PST 2002 by yamomma]

Yoda collecting our money.

Yoda giving orientation to the new-hires of the NPGMC on how to properly address questions.



[This message was edited Mon Nov 18 15:10:15 PST 2002 by yamomma]

Yoda reviewing ONA LIVE CD!

Yoda making the funk face.

Boy, that's sick!

It is also rumored that Prince will indeed produce a spoken/acoustic guitar album for Yoda set for a summer release in 2003 entitled: Yoda-Wrote-a-Coda

Any guesses on the track listing?

Yamomma,

u have earned an Org Oscar for best screenplay

Tracklisting 4 Yoda's Disc:

1. The Everlasting Force
2. Empty Wallet (npgmc member mix)
3. Condition of the Force
4. Anna Please ya
5. The other side of the Force
6. P Control, (mind control Mix)
7. Could take your place never of the man (acoustic mix)
8. Starfish & Chocolate bars
9. There's others here with us (afraid r umix)
10. 1+1+1=something...

starbuck said:

Very good.
Anyone else?

Now we know what happened to the women's bathroom stall door at Paisley Park.





96 votes after 15 replies?
Someone having NPGMC issues?
[This message was edited Tue Nov 19 10:13:21 PST 2002 by yamomma]

[This message was edited Tue Nov 19 9:56:04 PST 2002 by yamomma]

CLASSIC THREAD!! CLASSIC THREAD!!


REVEREND!!

Yoda in the studio helping with the guitar mix.

Is that the famous cuss-jar?

You will see Yoda at the Japan Shows.

Any new e-mails from Yoda?"

You heard it here first.

Yoda and Prince: Yoda Wrote-a Coda


[This message was edited Tue Nov 19 20:07:54 PST 2002 by yamomma]

Who do you think taught Prince the bass?

Sho' wasn't Larry Graham!