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Printablevikki said: Before civil war breaks out within the ranks, I have a proposal. It's a form of height apartheid whereby the audience is split between tall & short attendees(definitions of which can be fought over)- right down the middle & further divided into those who wish to dance badly or stumble around hopelessly drunk or smell the sweat on his balls, as suggested above- or possibly all three. Or we can just have tall folk stand at the back- BUT with binoculars. Now surely that should leave everyone satisfied....
I don't wanna cause a war, just get my voice heard. I have had always had this problem at gigs, especially intimate ones. I'm not afraid to say that I want to be at the front, and damn it, I will get there! Also I hate the term `short'. And remember, as Prince himself said...`I may be small, but so is dynamite'..or words to those effect. Said on the 1st Sept, main show. I of course screamed even louder, with my already sore throat! `U need 2 find a love that's gonna last' | |
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vikki said: Before civil war breaks out within the ranks, I have a proposal. It's a form of height apartheid whereby the audience is split between tall & short attendees(definitions of which can be fought over)- right down the middle & further divided into those who wish to dance badly or stumble around hopelessly drunk or smell the sweat on his balls, as suggested above- or possibly all three. Or we can just have tall folk stand at the back- BUT with binoculars. Now surely that should leave everyone satisfied....
would said binoculars be scented with "eau de sweaty balls?" cos if not i think the taller members of the right at the front crew might not be so keen i ain't looking for a 1 night stand...
i don't really wanna be your man... | |
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ionlywannafeeluup said: vikki said: Before civil war breaks out within the ranks, I have a proposal. It's a form of height apartheid whereby the audience is split between tall & short attendees(definitions of which can be fought over)- right down the middle & further divided into those who wish to dance badly or stumble around hopelessly drunk or smell the sweat on his balls, as suggested above- or possibly all three. Or we can just have tall folk stand at the back- BUT with binoculars. Now surely that should leave everyone satisfied....
would said binoculars be scented with "eau de sweaty balls?" cos if not i think the taller members of the right at the front crew might not be so keen At present, we've developed as far as 'Eau de Meaty Balls' but with a bit more work & a few more consonants, we'll get there. They may have to compromise with 'Eau de Sweety Balls' but it's a case of suck it & see. Will let you know. Thanks for the input! | |
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This is oh such a difficult question. Yes, tall people could go to the back but be further away. On the other hand, small people could go to the balcony but be further away. I really don't think there is a solution that would work for everybody. | |
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westv said: This is oh such a difficult question. Yes, tall people could go to the back but be further away. On the other hand, small people could go to the balcony but be further away. I really don't think there is a solution that would work for everybody.
EVERYONE on the balcony! No-one downstairs standing. Now surely that's the answer??! | |
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vikki said: westv said: This is oh such a difficult question. Yes, tall people could go to the back but be further away. On the other hand, small people could go to the balcony but be further away. I really don't think there is a solution that would work for everybody.
EVERYONE on the balcony! No-one downstairs standing. Now surely that's the answer??! tall people at the front on the balcony? o and bravo on your last post before this it made me  i ain't looking for a 1 night stand...
i don't really wanna be your man... | |
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westv said: I say put the midgets in the balcoy!
 You gonna pay the £75 for balcony tix for me then?! Oh and get Prince to join me up there too, we are the same height!! `U need 2 find a love that's gonna last' | |
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ionlywannafeeluup said: vikki said: EVERYONE on the balcony! No-one downstairs standing. Now surely that's the answer??! tall people at the front on the balcony? o and bravo on your last post before this it made me oh good! I'm amusing myself thoroughly with the very thought of it all. So, umm, tall people at front of balcony? Toughie. Ok, what about seating that's so steeply raked it's practically vertical- you're strapped in, naturally, we don't want any fatalities- or does that sound extreme? | |
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Sell 15 tickets and put everyone on stage with Prince, that's the answer. RIP  | |
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vikki said: ionlywannafeeluup said: tall people at the front on the balcony? o and bravo on your last post before this it made me oh good! I'm amusing myself thoroughly with the very thought of it all. So, umm, tall people at front of balcony? Toughie. Ok, what about seating that's so steeply raked it's practically vertical- you're strapped in, naturally, we don't want any fatalities- or does that sound extreme? Okay okay, here's one. What about me, just being suspended from the ceiling above the stage? And the tall peeps can go wherever they want! `U need 2 find a love that's gonna last' | |
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I'm quite tall. I'm happy to rent out my shoulders, you'll get a great view. | |
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TheEnglishGent said: Sell 15 tickets and put everyone on stage with Prince, that's the answer.
Like it- could be done in the round or a straight line. Neat. On being suspended from the ceiling (sounds like a pretentious poem I'll need to write later..)- nice one. But how about, stay with me, how about we suspend Prince from the ceiling and all look up? I can just imagine him flying around on wires like a funkalicious tinkerbell. | |
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purplepassion72 said: westv said: I say put the midgets in the balcoy!
You gonna pay the £75 for balcony tix for me then?! Oh and get Prince to join me up there too, we are the same height!! £75? Balcony is the same price as standing. £75 is the King's Row. | |
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vikki said: TheEnglishGent said: Sell 15 tickets and put everyone on stage with Prince, that's the answer.
Like it- could be done in the round or a straight line. Neat. On being suspended from the ceiling (sounds like a pretentious poem I'll need to write later..)- nice one. But how about, stay with me, how about we suspend Prince from the ceiling and all look up? I can just imagine him flying around on wires like a funkalicious tinkerbell. Now I didn't think of that, but we'll all get neckache, we can't have that! Let's just stick to me being suspended from the ceiling, that will get rid of the neckache threat, lol! I can be dressed as a purple tinkerbell Okay this is Prince's nite, and not mine, I refuse to be overshadowed! `U need 2 find a love that's gonna last' | |
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1p1p1i3 said: I'm quite tall. I'm happy to rent out my shoulders, you'll get a great view.
You wanna be v careful with such offers - short does not always mean light!!! | |
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SquirrelMeat said: Surely the fairest way is to stick those below 5' 10" in the sloped balcony?
Best solution all round! 5 ' 10" is tall to a 5 footer! | |
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purplepassion72 said: vikki said: Before civil war breaks out within the ranks, I have a proposal. It's a form of height apartheid whereby the audience is split between tall & short attendees(definitions of which can be fought over)- right down the middle & further divided into those who wish to dance badly or stumble around hopelessly drunk or smell the sweat on his balls, as suggested above- or possibly all three. Or we can just have tall folk stand at the back- BUT with binoculars. Now surely that should leave everyone satisfied....
I don't wanna cause a war, just get my voice heard. I have had always had this problem at gigs, especially intimate ones. I'm not afraid to say that I want to be at the front, and damn it, I will get there! Also I hate the term `short'. And remember, as Prince himself said...`I may be small, but so is dynamite'..or words to those effect. Said on the 1st Sept, main show. I of course screamed even louder, with my already sore throat! It personally doesn't bother me if I'm at the front or not but I'd really like to be able to see Prince. As I put on a previous post if you have a 6 foot tall person in front of a 5 foot tall person, only the 6 foot tall person gets to see. However, if you put a 5 foot tall person in front of a 6 foot tall person, they both get to see. | |
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Every time I have let someone Vertically Challenged in front of me
their taller boyfriend/friends have joined them and shoved me out of the way.  | |
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Raine said: Every time I have let someone Vertically Challenged in front of me
their taller boyfriend/friends have joined them and shoved me out of the way. that's because the "tall person rules" don't apply if you're in a shortie's entourage i ain't looking for a 1 night stand...
i don't really wanna be your man... | |
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Raine said: Every time I have let someone Vertically Challenged in front of me
their taller boyfriend/friends have joined them and shoved me out of the way. Aha! That's very mean of them, unacceptable. I've seen some very unethical tactics employed by smaller laydeez. Last night, we were all happily being undersized & over enthusiastic in our Lilliputian paradise when a drunken shorty kept lunging into the group insisting that she needed to speak to the security guy on the steps- I was having none of it & gave her a sharp shove in the gut. By any means necessary, as the Man says. I will take up arms if pushed. Oh yes. [Edited 9/7/07 14:08pm] | |
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"over enthusiastic in our Lilliputian paradise"
That really made me smile! | |
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"funkalicious tinkerbell"!
It's only mountains... | |
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pinemarten said: "funkalicious tinkerbell"!
I'm channelling Rick James tonite- gotta thank him for that one! | |
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Sounds like you're all being heightist to me. It's the luck of the draw how tall you are, how close you can get or how often you can go. I will be there as near to the front as possible (all 6ft of me) on the 9th. It will only be my second aftershow as I don't live in London. Perhaps I shoud start a new thread moaning about how unfair it is that 5ft people who live in London can go more often than me! | |
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ionlywannafeeluup said: ...the need to be close enough to smell the sweat from his balls
Or 3121 perfume as it's known stateside.... | |
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ionlywannafeeluup said: if it's just about seeing the show then yeah fair enough - but realistically why would tall people get involved in the squeeze at the front unless it was cos they wanna be close to the stage - in which case they have just as much right to be there as anyone else - it's more selfish/unfair to say they have no right to get close the Prince just because they're tall -
bottom line if you wanna get that close - get there early whether you're short, tall, fat, thin, straight, gay, black, white or inbred        | |
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Seems like the real Prince fan club was in da house then!
vikki said: My boundless joy at Aftershow last night was buoyed up by fact that I was surrounded by people under 5' 4''. I had an unobstructed view of Prince's side, front & behind. Why don't us little treasures get priority treatment as we won't be blocking anyone's view & all tall folk should be made to stand at the back- esp those v tall men who don't move/ dance/ respond in any way. Either that or we'll have to organise ourselves & overthrow those oppressing giants. Join me! Say hello to Podge | |
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Clare said: SquirrelMeat said: Surely the fairest way is to stick those below 5' 10" in the sloped balcony?
Best solution all round! That'll be Prince up there with us then. Sounds a fab idea! Brilliant! Little me was at the front yesterday, and my complaint isn't about tall people but the idiots who sudenly decide to barge their way to the front after we've all waited for ages.
Did anyone see the girl with the afro hair who elbowed her way to the front by claiming that she was going to be sick?! She shouted out that she was diabetic and that she had to sit on the stage stairs to eat her Mars Bar!! Funnily enough the Mars Bar didn't exist, and her drunk friend wasn't much better. He kept shouting out LAGER, LAGER, where's Prince, where's Prince?! right in front of people's faces (Prince was actually just a metre way from him),and then decided to follow it up with "Prince is such a shortarse isn't he?!" HILARIOUS but ANNOYING too.  | |
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I'm 6f and a big bloke, but I love getting as close as I can, without pushing in, and dancing my arse off, I wash so I am fresh as a daisy, hate any1 pushiong in, and wave my arms around as much as I want. Im just buzzing at an aftershow and main show and like 2 make he most of it. I will be drinking at 5 of the next 6 aftershows, but I get in Paaartey mood and just have a good time without bothering any1.
I'm sorry 4 those of you more vertically challenged but what can I do? I want 2 b as close as possible 2 the main man 2, and these occassions r so rare in life. I make the most of the shows I attend and boogey all the way. All I'm saying is sorry 4 those who can't see but I have let a lady stand on the step in front of me at the Common/Prince aftershow, it's just 2 hard 2 do on the floor in front of stage. Don't hate us taller one's 4 having a good time, just get balcony tix if it really is that bad. (If U ask nicely lady's can sit on my shoulders!...Please...la la la hee hee hee)   | |
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THEDAYSOFWILD said: I'm 6f and a big bloke, but I love getting as close as I can, without pushing in, and dancing my arse off, I wash so I am fresh as a daisy, hate any1 pushiong in, and wave my arms around as much as I want. Im just buzzing at an aftershow and main show and like 2 make he most of it. I will be drinking at 5 of the next 6 aftershows, but I get in Paaartey mood and just have a good time without bothering any1.
I'm sorry 4 those of you more vertically challenged but what can I do? I want 2 b as close as possible 2 the main man 2, and these occassions r so rare in life. I make the most of the shows I attend and boogey all the way. All I'm saying is sorry 4 those who can't see but I have let a lady stand on the step in front of me at the Common/Prince aftershow, it's just 2 hard 2 do on the floor in front of stage. Don't hate us taller one's 4 having a good time, just get balcony tix if it really is that bad. (If U ask nicely lady's can sit on my shoulders!...Please...la la la hee hee hee) Great suggestion! Why don't you sell tickets for your broad shoulders? I might consider buying one. Let's build an Aftershow Human Pyramid of Orgers! Yay. [Edited 9/8/07 8:26am] | |
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