Everyone is talking about meeting up for a drink before the Prince concert, but nobody has formally invited the man himself! How is that gonna make him feel? Like shit and unloved I bet!
I am personally gonna write to NPGMC and invite Prince along to Weatherspoons in Hammersmith for a quick drink before the show. We will have to put him in the no-smoking area, arrange for cases and cases of mineral water for him to drink, and put a silk cushion on his chair 'cos we don't want him sitting on any beer spillages or chewing gum!

REDFEATHERS said:

can someone get his drinks for him as the bar is quite high-up in there !

Please don't invite him. He hogs the bandit. Last time he went 2 the pub, he splent all bloody afternoon popping quid after quid into the machine, and as it was a Wetherspoon he kept calling "Turn the music on man, I can't get my groove on"
Best forgotten about, him and that entourage of his taking all the pork scratchings for themselves

I heard he kept playing "Oops I did it again" over & over

And how many times did he miss his round..Plus i couldnt get rid of Larry .

And then trying to get into a fight outside afterwards. All because some guy was looking at his bird.

I've never heard so many swear words from the one person!

Shocking behaviour!

I did contact Prince, but he had a diary clash that weekend.

...and why does he insist on using the Ladies loos?
I bet he complains that the lemon in his water isn't yellow enough, and the ice in his drink isn't cold enough...hmmm..but it would be fun..I am waiting for his reply. I have spoken to the man from DelMonte and he is growing some bright yellow lemons for the occasion, and the ice is coming straight from the Antartic, so Prince should be a happy bunny, will someone get that goddam chewing gum off the seats!
Tonight I am gonna sit at my sewing machine and rustle up a monogrammed silk cushion for his cute booty!
Had a quiet word with the bouncers and they will sort out Larry before he even gets his foot in the door! He! He!

Actually, cancel the bouncers...I have nominated GoldiesParade to take Larry on the London Bus Tour and hopefully they will be gone a long time

Why not just slip a voddie into Princes Perrier* engross him in conversation, he will be perfectly comfortable and oblivious to the chewing gum sticking Redfeathers’ beautiful cushion to the chair. Then after his second spiked Perrier (I think he must be a lightweight – very low body mass index) we will persuade him to move the gig to the Weatherspoons for our own private function. Thus leaving a queue of freezing desperadoes clutching their tartan thermoses well into the night as we continue to drink and get our funk on.


*Get the stuff with lemon already in it so you don't have to bother Sir Delmonte – he hates custom deliveries of his perfectly ripe fruit cus by the time it arrives it can be 23 hours and 42.5 minutes overripe according to studies in collaboration with Fed X)

Just added a single star rating to this thread to raise the profile of this enlightening repartee.

Soapstone said:

Why Thank you Soapstone! Too kind, too kind...

Soapstone said:

Forget the damned cushion, little Prince can sit on my knee, he will be so engrossed in RedFeathers, I will get him drunk alone - without any alcohol! He will know he wants me for real, but before we go back to the hotel and fuck forever, I will allow him to perform a goodbye, farewell gig to the orgers only, and I will be his backing dancer. I will even kneel down in front of him like Wendy did, back in the good old days, but RedFeathers won't be 'simulating' anything! Know what I mean?

Hey! Who added another star?

Soapstone said:

I think it just happened all by itself, because this thread is so damned good!

U've all got it wrong. The man don't really B drinking Lemon Perrier. Once he gets that groove on down the pub he enjoys himself so much he gets down and goes for the Stella.

2 pints to wash down his dry roasted and he'll sing and play 4 us all night. After that 2nd pint he'll sit on anyone's knee.

Perrier indeed...tut tut tut

What the fuck are we talking about?

This is ridiculous to chat like this about a mini Prince concert (that is a mini concert not mini prince, cus that would be way too small).

Can we just quit this stupid banter?

We all know it ain’t gonna happen cus Weatherspoons don't allow music!!! Any suggestions for another location? Who contacted Prince, is it too late, for him to change to another local?

REDFEATHERS said:

Bastard. I always get stuck with Larry.

Soapstone said:

No, Wetherspoons are allowing music for this special occasion. It was hard enough getting Prince 2 do this one special pub gig. He's hardly going to start changing venues his he?

Be thankful we have a pub concert - just for us. U cheap sod, U want it at the LOcal Working Mans don't ya?

Tight Wad...

dewmass said:

We can have a sing-song on the street, I will bring my tambourine and we can all sit in a circle singing Christain/JW songs...

N.B. Please wear Jesus sandals...

GoldiesParade said:

Don't forget to bring a stock of Polo mints - Larry loves to suck on them...

dewmass said:

Well, at TEN PENCE for a pint of Pearly Crown Best Bitter against 2 quid fifty for some rubbish Belgian piss water. Where would you go? Besides Prince has always liked playing the smaller local joints.

OK, I will make a deal. main concert at the weatherspoons (volume down, crappy beer) with an aftershow gig at Hammersmith’s Working Mans Club, Fulham Road.

Soapstone said:

This is the PERFECT day, oh I cannot wait...

Me neither!!

20 barrels of Old Pearly Crown are wending their way to the Fulham road by dray as we type - got the get the stocks in ready!

The acoustics in the club will be perfect. Just last week Arthur was up on the 2’ x 6’ stage strutting his stuff (as much as he can given his gammy leg) and belting out a funky rendition of my old mans a dustman.

Can life get any better?

Soapstone said:

If Prince is doing requests, then I know what I'm requesting!

Thanks for the idea Soapstone!