Sexy readers, today's Daily Org is interested in one thing, and one thing only: pure, hard, filthy, sweaty, muddy, and fluid-spillingly exciting SEX.

And on the way too, we've got the daily poll, the results of yesterday's poll (didn't know we had one? Neither did we), a "who is this orger?" competition and much more.

well, not much more, but hey.

Maybe this will get Boob back!

Nasty is good...filthy

Editorial

The mailbag is bursting. Not because of letters or indeed orgnotes - because we've had none. It's bursting because somebody filled it with jelly. Now the Daily Org doesn't mind who it was, as long as they own up.

But the point is, nobody has been wondering why the Daily Org only deals with General Discussion and not the other forums. Well, gentle readers, we can today exclusively answer that question for you: because we don't give a fuck about the other forums. Period.

STOP PRESS: filthy IS good.

quel scandale!

if you have nothing nice to say, come sit with me.

weren't there supposed to be recipes today?

NEWS ITEM 1

A quick glance over the titles of threads on page 1 confim the Daily Org's worst fears: GD orgers are obsessed with rumpy-pumpy :

"have you made a girl cum before?"

"top ten man whores"

"men whores: take the test"

"Pook needs to fling poo"

The Daily Org asks you, gentle readers, are Orgers really that crude and sexually depraved? What would MsSmartypants think of that first thread? God knows.

And the results of yesterday's poll on this very subject are now in. We asked:

"In your opinion, does every orger sit at the computer with a tub of vaseline and a box of Kleenex tissues?"

99% returned a "Yes" vote.
0% returned a "No" vote.

1 vote was declared null and void because it said "IOU 55 cents" on it, and the Daily Org wasn't sure whether that was a yes, a no, or just our photo editor's birthday present for his mother.

.
[This message was edited Tue Jun 29 16:16:29 2004 by TheDailyOrg]

TheDailyOrg said:

um, that was mine...i really do owe you 55 cents.

The Daily Org's open letter to Handclapsfingasnapz:

The Daily Org appreciates your honesty very much and is willing to waive the 55 cents owed. Do you happen to know anything about a mailbag full of jelly?

Sincerely yours

Daily Org

Who is this orger? - all new SEX edition

Below is a picture of an orger in a compromising, and SEXY position. Answers on a postcard (or preferably, in easily removable ink on a $10 bill) please.

The correct orger will receive a prize straight from the Daily Org's own fridge: a half-eaten tub of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food which has gone a bit yellow.

WHERE'S THE BEEF?????

Why, that's 9s in his new and improved paper mache tractor!

madartista said:

surely not in byron's lasagna...

TheDailyOrg said:

Dear Daily Org,

I heard through the grapevine that LittlePill might have something to do with that bag of jelly. Remember, you didn't hear it from me.

Sincerely,
Handclapsfingasnapz

NEWS ITEM 2

WOW!

The Daily Org can exclusively reveal that Azurestarr has blocked 2the9s from sending her orgnotes.

The trouble apparently started when 2the9s sent a SEXY XXX-rated picture of himself on top of a giant tractor, together with an orgnote that said, "get it here."

Azurestarr has so far played it cool, but this is fast turning into a Ben Affleck / Jennifer Lopez story that will have the whole world wetting themselves with excitement.

Watch this space for more exciting, farm machinery-based revelations!

TheDailyOrg said:

LMAO!

Vroom vroom!

TheDailyOrg said:

I sent her a John Deere letter...instead of a Dear John letter...get it?

heh

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Dear Handclapsfingasnapz

You may have the Daily Org's babies. Thank you for your candid and faithful telling of something we didn't hear from you.

We now owe you 55 cents. And that LittlePill...or should we call him, "Jelly Man"...

Sincerely yours

Daily Org

This is good stuff.Sick n twisted, yet has underlines of genius quality through out.
Awesome...

x10

NEWSFLASH!

thesexofit has exclusively revealed to the Daily Org (via a completely different thread)that a 12'' dildo is preferable to the raw truncheon wielded by man. Is this because the size of the average man can't match up, the Daily Org wonders?

The Daily Org asks: which orger could live up to such a phenomenal demand?

Earlier, astute orgers will have noticed LittlePill's staggering claim that his "talent" would bring down the Org itself! (though let's face it, it hasn't taken much to do that recently).

So remember, horny male readers, unless you're an elephant or have some sort of bizarre metabolism which channels all your fat into your trouser torpedo, thesexofit will want nothing of it!


And LittlePill - we're on to you.

That's right, the jelly.

TODAY'S (SEXY) POLL

It's that time of the day - the daily poll is here. And today it's about...fighting!

Poll question:

Who out of the following would you expect to win in a fight?

- Sweeny
- Supa
- Dansa
- Azurestarr
- Starkitty
- Crazyhorse
- 2the9s

and remember - you can only pick ONE.

Now as you know, sexually provocative readers, we here at the Daily Org frown upon violence and as such are not talking about fist fighting. We're giving each participant a SEXY rubber chicken as their weapon.

So no harm done.

results will follow, and the Org Rubber Chicken Champion 2004 will be crowned!

Sexy!

Press Conferance:

I'd take them all on at once.
Just give me my chicken n step back.

I wouldnt even have to attack 2the9's, dansa would do that herself.
Just tell sweeny and azurestarr a few lines of poetry and when there not looking.
Give them a lickin with this here chicken.
I'd tell Supa its sugar daddy night at the local bar....gone
I'd tell dansa that starkitty said she aint got no rhythm.
And before ya know it.I'm doing a Homey the Clown on there ass a rubber chicken be peckin.

I'm a LOVER NOT A FIGHTER

2teh9s said:

\/oo/\/\ \/oo/\/\

Sweeny79 said:

co-sign

Hi Sweeny

nesseone said:

Hi!

crazyhorse said:

homey don't play dat.

Call this scandal? Where's the sheep shagging transvestite vicars?

Lleena said:

what about fish and chips?

TheDailyOrg said:

Yeah I did it so what! Be happy it was only jelly!

vanillachild said:

exactly! What happened to the fish and chips scandal?