CRYSTALBALL said:

Damn! Really!?

LittlePill said:

Lately Ive been bored with the relationship
Its the same routine everynight

He comes home from work...walks the dog....he comes back,takes a shit,eats dinner
then off to bed he goes

CRYSTALBALL said:

You're the boyfriend?

AzureStarr said:

sister

CRYSTALBALL said:

I'm so confused. Well, in any case... if the relationship is going on four years... perhaps a little spicing up is in order. This isn't to say that the sex sucks from either end, but perhaps something new needs to be introduced. It sounds to me like... well, I'ma just gonna keep my mouth shut.

My only advice is to introduce something new... buy a new toy and have him use it on you (well, not you if you're the sister... but his girlfriend). Try a wild and crazy position in a different area of the house. Dress up in something sexy and have sex while in it... better yet, have him rip it off of you... something. There's a Gazillion things you could do to get him off the porn and back in the bed!

CRYSTALBALL said:

Didnt I tell u to stay out of my thread!

CRYSTALBALL said:

So you haven't had sex with your brother in 4 years?

ThreadCula said:

You two frighten me.

Well this is gonna be a creative weekend

ThreadCula said:

If you don't have a digital camera... rush out and get a polaroid with lots and lots of film!

So 4 years in the relationship, but how long has the porn and neglect been going on? Maybe you guys need counselling... Wanna come with us when I go with Golly?

I noticed the porn thing about a month ago

Its probably been going on longer but he's been doing it more just the past few weeks
[This message was edited Thu Jun 24 15:41:10 2004 by ThreadCula]

ThreadCula said:

Wow, have you ever tried to confront him about it?

First of all if one or both partners in a relationship are often tired or under stress from work, sexlife can get ignored pretty easily. It's like one person doesn't feel like having sex, notices the other is botherd by it, the next time you have sex it feels somewhat forced, ... It happened in my relationship once and i learned it's a pattern you have to be aware of and make a little effort to break through. It's weird, but ultimately sex is so much fun that it will work out after a while.

As for the porn thing, that's not the same as sex. As a man i noticed you can be too tired for sex, but still watch porn, as an alternative to playing some stupid card game on the computer. It's not a bad thing per se, the trick is to realize you're just beeing lazy and that porn is not even remotely as gratifying as spending some quality time with your partner.

For a silly comarison: it's like beeing too lazy to go out and play tennis (which is ultimately much more fun), but you are sitting behind your tv watching some stupid tennis game. You just have to make a concious effort to turn things around and it will all come naturally after that (at least i hope so )

Conclusion: don't make a fuss about the porn, but make sure he gets his priorities straight again :d

hIsMiRRoR said:

yes, he denies it
then he says its a guy thing , when I show him the proof

thanks for the advice ya'll

I believe you're right SpcMs

After 4 years a couple of weeks without sex isn't too big a deal. And being into porn is waaaaayyy normal. But if you're not getting what you want, I'd say take Azure's advice. Try to spice it up. Of course, it's all about the communication. If you're trying to spice things up and he's not having it you'll probably want to have a conversation about your expectations, needs, etc and what he's willing to give. Chances are, the porn has little to do with it.

ThreadCula said:

Ooh, don't that just sound familiar...

Yeah, you gotta sit him down and seriously talk about it. This is a big deal, even if it doesn't seem so bad. Both of you need to sit down and discuss exactly when and why you each want sex or don't want it. Try to figure out why your sex lives aren't quite coinciding lately and both of you make an effort to improve things. Remind each other what turns you on and what doesn't. I agree with SpcMs about the forced feeling and the stress. That may actually be why he's avoiding sex with you. If so, then something new and spicy is in order. Or just a break from each other. Sometimes simply not seeing each other for a few days makes the feeling come back. I hope I'm being helpful. I had this whole speech ready in my mind and I completely lost it... Sorry...

Thankyou mirror

U are being helpful

I will have a talk with him tonight

Thanks everybody

Well it's pretty obvious, isn't it?

He's not in love with you any more so he prefers internet porn..

plain and simple

CokeJohnson said:

CokeJohnson said:

oh no oh no
u're so right
boo hoo

I never questioned whether he loves me or not
Like i would actually believe some idiot who's not intelligent enough to say anything but negative crap on a messageboard
I'd hate to be you
[This message was edited Thu Jun 24 16:52:55 2004 by ThreadCula]

ThreadCula said:

hey... don't hate the player; hate the (bf/gf) game

Im just stating the obvious: If you still turned him on, he wouldn't be jerking of to internet porn, now would he?

CokeJohnson said:

That was naughty!

AzureStarr said:

Perhaps.. However, Im just keeping it real:
a) they havent had sex for 14 days!!
b) according to Miss ThreadCula herself she is quite the sex bomb
c) her boyfriend is "addicted" to internet porn instead of shaging her

You do the math..

CokeJohnson said:

Now I was shit at maths, and even I can work that one out.

ThreadCula said:

yes.....one of the big reason for my divorce.....such nastiness

preciosa863 said:

and there it is..

CokeJohnson said:

what's that supposed 2 mean???? I knew 2 expect some type of comment from u....

FYI.....it's funny, cuz he's still blowing up my phone, pleading and begging...grass is not always greener on the other side....guys take note.

Am i the only one who thinks that watching porn is a sign you're kinda stuck in your puberty ?
Sure it can be arousing, when you're like 14 y.o. !
I mean if you have had sex yourself, watching some girls shrieking and moaning whilst anatomically speaking it would be impossible to do that, is not my cuppa. It just becomes laughable (sp?)