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good one liners my friens told me a good story today about how a taxi driver had warned his passenger who was wearing a mink coat and going to Harrods that there were anti fur protesters there.
as she was walking in to the shop someone shouted to her "Don't you know how many animals were killed for you to wear that fur coat?" she quickly retorted "don't you know how many animals i had to sleep with to GET this fur coat" i found this quite amusing 
desclaimer - i'm not in any way condoning the wearing of fur coats  
How, i'm gonna make that booty boom...step back, give a girl some room....OH  | |
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why do birds fly upside down over 2the9s . . .
cause hes not worth shitting on  | |
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oopsys
thats 2 lines aint it | |
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Here's a couple of one liners for ya!!   Proud member of Prince's cult for 20 years! | |
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LittlePill said:
Here's a couple of one liners for ya!! wouldn't know
How, i'm gonna make that booty boom...step back, give a girl some room....OH | |
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I knew a girl who had a wooden leg and when I took her out dancing I spun her around and she got taller. - Larry the Cable Guy
When we were done having sex, I said to my girlfriend, "Was that good for you," and she looked at me and said, "That wasn't good for anybody." - Garry Shandling I knew a girl who was so fat she jumped up into the air and got stuck. - Larry the Cable Guy If you can't say something nice about someone, come sit next to me. - Hedda Hopper Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but I see you only gargled. - (?) You're depriving a village of their idiot. - (?) [This message was edited Sat Jun 26 13:26:05 2004 by jillybean] "She made me glad to be a man" | |
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair. With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy, I'd have nothing to play with. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met! When my old man wanted sex... My mother would show him a picture of me This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me. I have the worst luck though... A hooker once told me she had a headache. A girl phoned me & said.. "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over - - Nobody was home ! and for the drum roll my all time favorite quote from this guy..... Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it. These quotes are from the King of one liners himself Rodney Dangerfield..... | |
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i refuse to engage in a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.
you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel 
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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lillith said: i refuse to engage in a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.
Is this about me?  Proud member of Prince's cult for 20 years! | |
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LittlePill said: lillith said: i refuse to engage in a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.
Is this about me? absolutely...not at all. you're now one of my fave orgers.
if ya want lasagna ya better give me your address...i'll do jaw strengthening exercises on the plane. you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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lillith said: LittlePill said: Is this about me? absolutely...not at all. you're now one of my fave orgers.
if ya want lasagna ya better give me your address...i'll do jaw strengthening exercises on the plane. Aren't you supposed to be eating? Proud member of Prince's cult for 20 years! | |
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LittlePill said: lillith said: absolutely...not at all. you're now one of my fave orgers.
if ya want lasagna ya better give me your address...i'll do jaw strengthening exercises on the plane. Aren't you supposed to be eating? just starting preparation...it'll be awhile before the eating starts...stop talking to me so i can cook dammit!! i'd much rather talk to you than cook!!! you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. | |
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