Death. Anyway... some of you know that earlier in the year a friend of mine killed herself, using a gun. Two months later a friend of a friend, whom I was just getting to know, shot and killed herself, too. Valentine's Day, the mother of my boyfriend passed away, her and I were very close and very much alike... even down to the birthday that we shared. There's three... I guess I may get four this year.

Well, today I received a phone call and a friend of mine is in the hospital and probably isn't going to make it. He is a diabetic, and apparently, on Tuesday evening, while hanging out with friends at his apartment, he started "freaking out". I'm not quite clear on what that meant, other than that the other guys put him in his bedroom, left and called Scott's sister and brother-in-law. They arrived and found him in a pool of sweat, and thinking that it was do to low insulin, they attempted to wake him and give him food. He woke a bit and started swinging and hitting them, not knowing who they were. They called Scott's dad and when he arrived, Scott still didn't know who anyone was and continued to hit everyone... and "freaking out". The paramedics arrived and they weren't able to restrain Scott, so they called the police. I guess it took four police officers to help the paramedics restrain him.

Well... Scott is currently in a coma at 32 years of age. He is currently on life-support while they are running tests to figure out what caused this. At first, they thought it was a diabetic seizure, which then put him into a diabetic coma. After running some tests today they don't think that's the case at all, and that it has something to do with his brain instead.

He'd been acting more strange the past year or so... and even more strange, and even angry, the past few months. Anyway... they aren't allowing anyone but the family to see him now, as he is in ICU, but his sister says that if they allow friends to start coming in that it will most likely mean that he isn't going to make it. The doctors don't have much hope. If, by chance, he does survive, they are saying he isn't going to be "right", that the tests show too much brain damage.

I don't know what would be worse. Losing him completely, or never seeing him be the same again.

For those of you who believe in the power of prayer... please pray a little for my friend Scott.

Thank you.



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[This message was edited Thu May 27 17:48:33 2004 by AzureStarr]

My thoughts go out to you and your friend and his family.

I'm sorry

Holy crap!

I'm so sorry.

Thanks, guys... from the bottom of my heart.

Oh my God Az. Love you I pray all the best in this situation

I'm sorry for your suffering.

Awful. There was a similar case here about two years ago -- not detail for detail but quite close. I hope your friend gets better. In the meantime, the best you can do, you are already doing. Recently, I experienced one death and two serious illnesses among friends -- nothing as awful as you are describing but bad enough, and all within three weeks. Always very shocking and troubling.
[This message was edited Thu May 27 20:13:25 2004 by Aerogram]

damn. i'll certainly pray for him, and i'm truly sorry about your other friend and boyfriend's mom too.

Oh Azure, I am so sorry to hear about this..

Thanks, again, to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

The latest on Scott is that he woke up on his own yesterday, fighting and pulling out the tubes and IV's. He tried speaking, but realized he couldn't because there were tubes down his throat and got some pulled out part-way, before they were able to restrain him again and actually put him back into the coma.

They found that what caused this is a virus of the brain. There are three different possiblities of a virus, but those weren't told to me. So, currently he is in a doctor induced coma, still on life support until they can pinpoint what the problem is and see if they can help, otherwise, they are going to take him off life support.

I don't know anything about any of this... I don't want to ask many questions of his family, for obvious reasons.

Does anyone know if when someone is in a coma if they know what is going on around them or what is happening to them? I wonder because of when he woke up, and him freaking out like that, if he even knows what is going on. I don't know how badly his brain is damaged, other than that they said he wouldn't be "right" if he survived this, but... it just kills me to think that he understands what is going on and can't say or do anything. Like he's completely caged.

I had to smile when told that he started pulling stuff out, only because that is what Scott would do and he would be VERY pissed to find that he was in that state. However, that smile quickly vanished when it sunk in that I'm sure that isn't the case. I was just trying to find something in all of this, I guess.

This is just horrible. And, no comments are needed really, other than if anyone knows about if a person knows what's going on if they are in a coma. I just really needed to vent and get this off of my chest, knowing that people hear/read it. I'm tired of talking to friends about it or speaking to them about the updates I recieve about his condition, for various reasons.

Sometimes I wish I had the power to just make everyone and everything okay.

im so very sorry for you, scott and scott's family... there are little words in this case that will make you feel better i know, just know that there are people out here thinking of all of you

My heart goes out to you, how sad.

AzureStarr, I'm really sorry about Scott.

My grandmother had a brain tumor and had surgery for it twice. After the second surgery she never woke up and was in a coma for about 5 years or so until she passed away. They doctors said she was 'brain dead' or in a vegetative state, I think. I was fairly young and this was all so long ago that I don't remember the specific medical terminology they used for my grandma's condition.

Ayway, I have read many differing things about whether people can hear or understand what's happening around them while in a coma, or to *what extent* they can hear or understand. I have read some coma patient's accounts who said they definitely were aware of what was going on around them, and that they could hear what was being said, could feel touch, etc.

I personally believe my grandma was aware of a lot more that was happening around her than the doctors claimed (this was during the early to mid 1980s). Sometimes she would slightly squeeze your hand when you would speak to her, or look like she was smiling a little, or her eyes would be looking at something or someone as though she were completely aware of, and understanding, what was going on and what was being said to her, even though the doctors said all of that was attributed to muscle spasms, involuntary this or that, blah blah blah, and that she wasn't aware of her surroundings at all

Well, when my grandpa died, before her, my family tape recorded his funeral and when they played it for her, there were tears coming from her eyes. You cannot tell me those tears were merely an "involuntary" reaction or spasm or whatever. I believe she heard and understood.

I guess my point is just that I don't think medical science can always determine for sure what each individual coma patient is experiencing, or to what extent a certain person can feel or hear although fortunately, it seems like the doctors do understand much more about comas than they did back when my grandma was in one.

I myself would go with the idea that your friend CAN hear and feel and understand what is happening around him. Speak to him directly, hold his hand, read to him, play for him his favorite music or television shows.. just anything to make as much of a direct, human connection to him as possible. I myself don't think it's right to speak about a comatose person, right in front of them, as if they can't hear or can't understand, or like they've been reduced to just some inanimate object in the room - because you just never know how much or how little they might be hearing or understanding. (and I say that because I remember some nurses in the nursing home my grandma was in doing that and it used to bother me)

I know my comment didn't really directly give you a clear answer to your question(s), but I do understand your feelings right now about a comatose person and wanted to say something.

I do hope that Scott gets better, and my heart goes out to you and all of his friends and family.

I found this site that you might like to read over: http://www.medindia.net/P...f/coma.asp. Maybe it will help you understand a bit more.

I just lost two friends this year and someone recently mentioned the "they come in threes" saying...

...

SnowQueen said:

Thank you for your words. I, too, think, especially after reading about your grandmother, that it is possible that people know what is going on around them. It is comforting to think that it is possible anyway... well, to an extent. *sigh*

The last I heard is that Scott is out of the coma, on his own, however, he doesn't know who anyone is. I'm not sure of his state other than that... meaning, if he is acting normal, other than that. He's still on life support, however and in ICU, which means that only family can see him and I'm still not able to go in.

The doctors found that there are one of three brain viruses that he could have. The first one he will come out of it a-ok. The second he would have to learn to walk and talk again (not sure if he is talking or not now), and the third would leave him completely, well... he just wouldn't be okay ever again. Pretty much a "vegetable", was how I was told.

Thank you, again. I'm going to go and look at that link.

my thoughts go out to u.

Be strong Heather.

4 Scott:

My deepest prayers go out to your friend...

PEJ said:

I meant to say this ealier, then I had to skip out real quick. I'm sorry about your loss, Pej. Yeah, "they say" it comes in 3's. Whoever "they" are. I really wish they weren't usually so right about this one, though.

Thanks, again, to everyone for the thoughts, comments and prayers.

Scott is home!!

He had/has viral encephalitis, which the doctors say that he more than likely caught from a mosquito or a tick. He will be on medication for at least a year and may have possible liver and kidney damage due to everything that happened because of the virus. But, he is home and is in good spirits! (He's home because he had no insurance due to switching jobs and so the hospital sent him on his way once he appeared to be okay).

He said that he didn't remember even going to work that Tuesday, and remembers nothing of the entire day. All he remembers from that day is waking up in the morning and then the next thing he knows is it's June.

He does have to go back to be checked for an ulcer or stomach cancer. The doctors found something during some tests that they ran during the course of trying to find out what was going on with him. Sooo...

Thank you to all of you that prayed for him. I am so very relieved right now.

AzureStarr said:

Excellent news Azure!

I am so glad to hear that Azure!

May he have a speedy recovery, he has a good friend in you