Okay, this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm in quite an interesting situation. I think it's so messed up it just may be amusing to tell, and besides that I'd love some advice if anyone has any to give... It's kind of a long story, though, so I'll only tell it if anyone's interested in reading it. Anyone wanna hear me babble about my life...?

.

I actually had a post I was attempting to post, but P.org freaked out on me and froze right the hell up...

Anyway...go ahead...babble away..

go ahead..we're listening...

Alrighty, I'll make this as short as I can, but it's gonna be pretty long anyway. I'm sorry to spew about my personal life, but I have no one to talk to about it because everyone I know is involved somehow... Oh well, read it if you want to. Otherwise, well don't read it... If you love messed up situations and giving advice, this thread is for you!

3 years ago I started college and met four guys, two of which instantly became my good friends, one of which I had a mad crush on and spent a lot of time chasing, and one of which ended up becoming my boyfriend. This all happened quite fast. Time passed, crap happened, and now three years later the five of us ended up living in a four-bedroom apartment together. I'm still with my boyfriend. The guy I was chasing, who had told me many times that he could never be with me because he was in love with a girl who dumped him a year ago, lives in the bedroom right next door to mine and my boyfriend's now. The other two guys live in adjacent bedrooms on the other side of our main living area. Everyone is involved in everyone's business and things have been touchy between all of us because of various things that happened over the years.

The guy I used to like suddenly decided he's in love with me and always has been. He's been telling eveyone who'll listen that HE was chasing ME and that I blew my chance with him and now he's a tortured soul because he has to watch me being in love with this other guy and of course he thinks he can treat me better. So he thinks he's proving his worth to me by being mean to my boyfriend, making fun of every word he says and threatening to stab him with one of the many swords he's collected over the years that he for some reason keeps in a messy pile on his bedroom floor. He guilts me constantly about how he's lonely, has no friends (actually when people come to visit him he just talks about me until they leave or he sends them away because they're "taking precious time away" from me...). He whines that I've been so mean to him that I've made him physically sick. He deliberately swallows air bubbles and eats nasty food so he can keep burping and being sick and then get attention for it.

Aside from all this, the guy has seriously lost it... He's stopped showering, brushing his teeth, shaving, basically gave up being attractive at all... And he STILL thinks I'm attracted to him, no matter how many times I tell him right ot his face that I'm not. He thinks he has a special connection with God. He thinks he can command the angels and that he is an angel sent down to Earth. He chases demons in the shadows of empty fields with a stick... He has seriously lost his mind... He buys me things constantly even though I keep telling him I don't want presents or his money. And the worst thing about that is he makes his parents pay for most of the stuff he buys me! Keep in mind he's 21 and still depends on his mother for everything. He can't even cook for himself. Also, a few years ago my head was a mess and I used to slice up my arms a bit to deal... Not my finest moment... Well guess what... He cuts his arms. But whereas I hid my scars for years, he roles up his sleeves and shows off the bleeding cuts so everyone will know how much he "suffers" the way I do... And he thinks somehow that all this makes me want him... Of course this can't just be the end of the story... The situation gets "better"...

This guy's parents are pretty cool people. They actually hang out with us here at the apartment like friends. And they love my cat, which has brought a whole new twist to all this. See, I ended up with a cat because my mother, who I also think is insane, decided she didn't like him and was going to take him to an animal shelter in hopes that they'd put him to sleep and no one could be bothered by him. I can't even believe that... Now, I know this cat well and am quite fond of him. So I took him for myself. But we can't keep him here at the apartment. In a few weeks my boyfriend and I are moving into our first house and we can have him there, but until then someone needs to watch him. This other guy's parents happily volunteered and they have the cat right now.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend went home for a few weeks to help his parents with some things, and the other two guys went home for the summer. I'm stuck here alone with this crazy guy now... And he won't leave me alone... He follows me everywhere asking me stupid questions and then doesn't listen to a word I say. If I close my door he knocks on it and gets insulted if I won't answer. Sometimes I just get mad and tell him to get away from me. He puts me on a guilt trip about it and when I still won't give in he hides in his room threatening to kill himself. I've really stopped pitying him. I'm just sick of him at this point. I also made the mistake a while back of introducing him to Prince. He came to the Musicology concert with me and ever since then he's been playing Prince CONSTANTLY at full volumed from his bedroom. Naturally this has been seriously annoying the roommates who are not fans like I am, and besides that he's so obsessed with Prince now just because of me that I'm starting to get a little jealous, like he's stolen it from me, ya know? He now claims to know more about it than I do. He walks around singing songs from CD's he borrowed from me and won't give back! (He said he'd burn his own copies and then give them back. That was months ago. He keeps saying he doesn't have time. He does nothing but follow me around all day and all I do is sit here on the computer counting the hours til my boyfriend comes back... What on Earth is he doing that he doesn't have time?!).

So this basically is the situation right now. Yesterday I really lost my temper and started screaming at him when he asked me a dumb question for the millionth time. He's currently hiding in his room thinking of mean things to say to me... My only solace is to call one of the other roommates who's home for the summer and yell about all this until I feel better. But I only get to do that like once a week... I have nowhere else to go. I can't go home because there is no home left to go to, but that's another story. I'm trapped in this apartment with this crazy guy who has the oddest ways of showing his "love" for me, my boyfriend won't be back for another week, I'm seriously losing my temper with him, and I'm afraid that if I'm mean to him he'll tell his parents and they'll give the cat back and I'll get in trouble for trying to hide a cat here and everything will just get worse... Now, sorry for such a long long story. I hope at least someone finds this interesting. Maybe I've amused someone. Anyone have any advice?
[This message was edited Tue May 25 21:32:24 2004 by hIsMiRRoR]

Wow... you may not be able to go anywhere, but can he?

Here's some advice from my mom. She sent me a cabillion e-mails this morning and this was her last piece of advice at the bottom of the last one... perhaps you can find something in it...



"I’d give yourself time to think about what you want in life, know that nothing is perfect so you can only get close to that---everything is give and take you know--- and do something before you hit 40 otherwise you may find yourself bartending, smoking and killing yourself again, and out of shape wearing bright blue eyeshadow and orange nail polish and living with only Lester in a run down, trashed trailer parked in some seedy lot somewhere. Not a good thought."

Anyway... I guess if there is no where for you to go and if he can't go anywhere, perhaps just stick it out the best you can until your boyfriend or the others return. Then... try to find your own place together.

Best of luck...

Yeah, the Org's been freezing up on me too. I've been trying to post for a while and it hasn't let me until just now.

I forgot some stuff... After my boyfriend and I move into the house, this crazy guy and the other roommate that I always talk to about this are moving into a different apartment closer to the house. Crazy guy is jealous of the friendship I have with the other roommate because he's also friends with him, and always demands to know where he's going when he leaves or who he's calling when he's on the phone... If I try to visit my friend, I'll have to deal with the crazy one... And if my friend tries to visit me, the crazy guy will know and surely torment us both about it... I can't just sever ties with this guy because I don't want to lose my friends, nor do I want to just walk away and leave them to deal with him... All the roommates agree that life would be easier on everyone if I weren't around, but they can't think of never seeing me again. They're willing to put up with him just to be around me. They're so great like that, but I feel terrible for being the source of all this trouble...

My boyfriend is trying his best to be my buddy about all this, but he of course isn't enjoying the threats... And he seems to think I'm encouraging this guy's behavior somehow. I don't know how I've encouraged it really. Seriously, I've been telling this guy to get away from me. I've sat him down and explained the whole situation to him and he's claimed to understand, but then the next day he's acting that way again. If I've encouraged him in any way, I guess it's my attempts to remain friends with him. But I'm not just a glutton for punishment here; I have reasons to still be talking to him. It's a terrible situation and everyone's blaming each other for it...

AzureStarr said:


Wow, ya know, the way my life has been going, I can actually imagine that happening...

AzureStarr said:


He's good friends with the guys who live in the apartment right above ours. He used to spend almost every minute of his time up there watching tv with those guys while the roommates were still around. Now all of sudden he's convinced I'm lonely and I need someone around, even though all I do is clean, take care of our tons of fish tanks, and hang out on the Org... Even when I lock my bedroom door and refuse to talk to him, he stays here and won't even go upstairs. Does he still think I want his company and can't stand to be alone even when I've locked my door and told him to go away...

Ya know, I used to be pretty sure this apartment was haunted. I'm superstitious like that sometimes. Every time I saw a weird shadow or thought someone was behind me, I'd freak out and I'd be afraid to be alone. Nowadays, when I feel someone standing behind me, I pray it's a ghost... But then I hear the same damn voice calling my name.... He doesn't even pronounce it right... My name is Mandy. He says it in a Scottish accent and it comes out something more like Monday. Ooh I hate that! He thinks he's Scottish, directly descended from William Wallace. But then he gets in a different mood and he's an angel. Then he's God Himself. Then he thinks he's a direct descendant of one of the three Wise Men. Then he's in the Italian mafia. He's really insane... He's also very short. Perhaps his illusions of grandeur stem from some sort of Napoleon complex, hmmm? I don't know... Look at me; he's driven me so crazy I'm laughing about this...

hIsMiRRoR said:

At least you can laugh about it... Hmmm... just, wow. Well, Monday, I'm not one to give great advice... I can't even handle my own life without making a mess of it... lol... perhaps you could tape him going through his different moods and make a killing off of him in Hollywood!

Quick sidenote here:
No disrespect to Scotland, Italy, the mob, the real descendants of these people or anything else I've mentioned, by the way! it just annoys me that he acts that way when he's actually a dirty white boy from a white trash area in Pennsylvania, the same area I'm from so I know for a fact a lot of those people are hicks. No disrespect to those people of course. They're good people no matter how they live their lives or how much money they have and I'm proud to have grown up among them. Now I feel better that that's said... I'm only making fun of him, not the things he claims to be, and certainly no disrespect to where he's (and I'm) from...
[This message was edited Tue May 25 10:56:39 2004 by hIsMiRRoR]

AzureStarr said:


Maybe some good can come of my unfortunate situations afterall.

hIsMiRRoR said:

YIKES! I should make one, too then:

I am sure my mom did not mean any disrespect to bartenders, people who smoke and then get cancer only to smoke again, trashed trailers or people who live in them, seedy neighborhoods, and women who become out of shape and wear heavy blue eyeshadow and bright orange polish.

I feel better, too, now...

Well, one good thing has already come of all this nonsense. He's inspired me to change my major to something I'm much happier with. For two years I was an Animal Bioscience major. I enjoyed it, but something about it just didn't seem right for me. So, despite the "dumb blonde" and "ditzy girl looking for easy grades" stereotypes I would certainly hear more of, I changed to Psychology altogether. I still kept a Biology option, so don't think for a second my classes are easy, but now all my classes are about how the human mind works, or doesn't... And his mind is definitely fun to pick apart and talk about with the other Psych students...

Get your Prince cd's back and drop the dude. His infatuation with you hopefully will fade. Talk to your current boyfriend and spill the beans. Move out so you won't be near this dude - I think he is trouble.

Seriously, get away from this person. He sounds compleatly nuts. How do you sleep at night? Or do you? I had a guy once tell me that the only reason he was friends with my boyfriend (at the time) was to be closer to me. He then proceeded to tell me that he had been in love with me for YEARS. Then I found out that he had a wall in his room covered with pictures of ME WTF? I tell you this because I can relate to what you're saying here.

You mentioned that his parents sometimes hang out at the apartment. Do they know the mental state of their son? The knives on the floor? The verbal attacks on you? Perhaps you should try to speak to them "as a friend" concerned. I would keep my door locked at all times around him.

Sorry for you troubles.

Kissmequick said:


Sometimes I just don't...

Kissmequick said:


Oh believe me, I do...
Kissmequick said:


Oh yeah, I feel ya...

luv4u said:


He knows all about it. He's kinda stuck in the middle. We're moving out in a few weeks to our new house. Hopefully things will calm down then...

Kissmequick said:


Yeah, they know... He talks to them about me too... If they try to say anything to him he screams at them and says they're "fucking with him". They're out of answers too, I think... But they feel bad for him and they're quick to defend him, so I still have to watch what I say to him for fear they'll be mad at me...

Stay away from him. Sounds like he is fucked up mentally. He is dangerous even if he stalks you.

Did I mention that he walks around in a tank top and boxers that are too small all day long? Oh it's repulsive... Comes out of his room in the morning with a boner, standing there in his boxers asking me dumb questions. I can only imagine what my face looks like 'cause I'm trying so hard not to make a disgusted face...

Here's an example of how much he listens when I talk and the dumb questions he then asks... (Keep in mind that he lectures people on how he's so in tune with me that he can finish my sentences for me, remembers every word I say, and even seems to always go to the bathroom at the same time as I do...)
[Quick back story: Although I mostly have huge fishies, I do still love the little ones, and I have a smaller tank with a breeding pair of Mollies. They just had babies about two weeks ago. We were cleaning for inspection and thinking about moving the tanks around because there are a lot of them in the room. Crazy boy is sitting on the edge of my bed next to my computer chair inches from my face as usual.]

Me: "I'm afraid to move the Mollies' tank because all 12 of the babies are still alive and I'm so excited. I don't wanna do anything to jeopardize that. They might all survive this time."
Crazy head: "Well then you should definitely move the tank. How about my room?"
Me: "You play your music way too loud. And I don't want to move the tank. I just said that."
Crazy head: "Ahh. Well let me know when you're gonna move the tank. I'll help. By the way, did you ever count how many babies there were?"
Me: "I just said there were 12."
Crazy head: "Ahh. Wow, seven babies, you said?"
Me: "I have to pee."
Crazy head: "You pee every five minutes. I'm glad I don't."
Me: "Please get out of my room..."
Crazy head: "I'm sorry... Why are you so mean to me? I only try to make you happy. Sigh... But I do everything wrong... Everybody hates me... Nobody appreciates what I do for them... I should just stop being nice to people..."
Me: *pushes him to the doorway and slams the door in his face*

And he wonders why I flip out on him while he's talking to me... Yep, he sure remembers every word I say...

Please read Gavin deBeckers "The Gift of Fear" quickly!!!!!

Okay, I'll look for it. Is it a novel or what? I'm going out walking around town later to get some fresh air from this bedroom I've been trapped in all week. Hopefully he won't follow me. I'll keep my eye out for it while I'm walking thru the stores.

hIsMiRRoR said:

Yuk, yuk, yuk!!! No morning hard-ons! Especially one that's not wanted!
Norman Bates comes to mind as I read your post. I know your boyfriend will be back soon, but is there a friend or someone that you could stay with until he gets back? Also, does this guy ever leave the apartment? If so, I would try to go in there and take a look around. Snatch up your CD's.

Kissmequick said:


This guy spends a few minutes making sure his door is securely locked when he comes out for a drink of water in the morning... Even when I, the one he "completely trusts", am the only one here... He carries his keys with him... God knows where he keeps them... In his boxers somewhere I guess... Ick...
I've thought about picking his lock while he's out and burning him copies of my CD's MYSELF and leaving them with a note that says "thanks for the CD's back". But oh the speech I'd get from him after that about how no one appreciates him, I'm mean to him, he's such a good guy and no one cares, how could I do something like that to him, his life is ruined, blah blah blah...
He rarely leaves, though. Like I said, he's going through this phase now that he can't leave me alone here because I won't be okay by myself, even though I spend the whole day locked in my bedroom by myself anyway... So he never leaves. If he does, he has to come knock on the door and tell me all about where he's going and ask if I need anything, and then he hurries back to make sure I'm okay... God damn, I miss my boyfriend...

Sometimes if I turn my music down low and stay quiet in my room for a while, I can hear him bump against my door or try to turn the knob. I don't know if he thinks I left and he wants to sniff my underwear or what...

Oh here's a goodie. How crazy does this sound? Sorry, this is not a story for the squemish!
[More backstory: Although my parents occassionally help me financially, fish are expensive pets to keep, so I donate blood plasma at this place downtown twice a week. I get paid $50 a week to do this and that's how I feed the fish and myself, since a job isn't a good idea right now-I'd be away from my room too long not knowing what he's doing and I'd be forced to stand in one place where he could always find me for hours. Nope, not doin' that right now... Plasma donation is a pretty easy and fulfilling way to make money, since it only takes an hour and my plasma is going to help sick people. Well I get paid extra money if I bring a new friend once in a while. Everyone I know is terrified of needles or convinced donating is bad for their health, and my boyfriend can't because of some medication he used to take. So guess who was qualified to donate... Now twice a week he makes sure I'm not alone at the plasma center and goes through such "pain" so he can buy me things...]

Sorry, long backstory. K, here's the story. Long but almost entertaining:

Last week we were both donating and happened to be right next to each other this time. He kept talking to me about stupid things, bragging about how his blood is so "strong" that he often clots in the tubes and can't finish the donation. Ugh...
Anyway, I'm paranoid that I'm going to infiltrate again, needle pops out of my vein while my blood is being returned and blood gets under my skin instead of my vein and it hurts like hell and of course leaves a huge bruise, because this has happened to me a few times already. I guess blood pressure can have something to do with it. If it's flowing too fast the needle can be pushed out. Well of course every time the blood gets returned I naturally get nervous but I try to stay calm so my blood pressure stays down and this doesn't happen. Well while psycho is next to me he's making me so upset... Guess what happened... Then he kept asking me if I was okay while the doctors were pulling the needle out of my arm and I was ready to scream at him...
I had my first Red Blood Cell Loss that day, which basically means that the blood couldn't be returned because the first vein didn't work and they couldn't find another suitable one. If you have two RBC losses in six weeks you can never come back again, and I really need that money... So I was not happy to have one and I'm so afraid it'll happen again now... Well, I guess he felt outdone...
When they put the needle in his right arm his blood clotted right in the tube. Woo hoo for him... So that arm was useless then. So they tried his left arm. He was doing fine. Then he was like "Hmmm, maybe I'll have a RBC loss too...". I ignored him and went to run an errand before he got finished. When I came back he was sitting up being given water and being checked on, and his reservoir, the thing that holds the blood while the plasma is being taken out of it, was disconnected and still full of blood laying on a cart.... I couldn't believe it... I don't know how he got the needle to move or why he would deliberately cause himself such pain, but he did... He's so proud of his bruise right now... I guess we're so in tune with each other that we even infiltrate at the same time... Riiiiight...

psycho for sure.

You need to get far, far away from him now. God only knows what he has locked up in that room of his. I hear serial killer when I read your posts. I hate to say it, but I'm worried for you. I would still talk to his parents and let them know from your perspective what is going on with him. I have a feeling that even after you move you might need to file a restraining order against him. That's just B.S. to have to live your life with this guy in the back of your mind.

luv4u said:

LMAO!

A true Prince fan's answer! Firs the cds, then the guy!

2the9s said:


Yeah, I love that answer.

Oh you should hear him SINGING ALONG... He plays whatever song he's heard me say I liked as loud as he can, and he sings along trying to be louder than his stereo... And the voice he uses, my God... I saw that post earlier about which Prince voice is best, and I just thought of this guy. I was tempted to reply with "Not the one I always hear in the morning!", but no one would know what I was talking about... Picture this: deep Marylin Manson-ish grumbling, with a Scottish/African American accent, always half a beat off and a little too slow, everything as if it's an evil ballad, no matter how happy the song is. Don't ask how he manages this. It's my best guess at how to describe ithe voice... AS LOUD AS HE CAN, singing MY FAVORITE Prince songs. This is what I hear in the morning... I'm proud to say that through all this, I am still a fan. Even after hearing his acapella version of The Same December, in that damn voice... It's scary...

Kissmequick said:


I agree... Next time his parents visit, if I can get a second alone with them, I'll mention it... Maybe they can convince him to go home for a while or something, just so I can get a break, and then by the time he gets back my boyfriend will be back and he'll stay away from me... He backs off big time when my boyfriend comes in the room (could be that my man is twice his size and has a mean jealous temper... ) And besides, I know he's sad that my boyfriend looks more like Prince than he does, so he'll never win my love EVER.

AzureStarr said:

HEY!!!!?

I'm wearing orange nail polish!!! There's no Lester here though.

CALL THE POLICE!!!
And stop hanging out with him!! Dont go anywhere with him anymore!

Wow, what if he has an Org account since he's so obsessed with Prince now... What if he's reading this... Wow, that would suck! Glad I have the door locked...