I don’t know if any of you have elderly parents…but I’m presently going thru something with my father that is a bit scary and worrisome. My father’s been having some paranoid thoughts lately…as if he feels “someone” is after papers he owns or is out to get him. It’s not constant, but it’s often enough to have caused my brother, sister and me some concern.

A few days ago, I got word that he was picked up by the police in some town in Texas and is being sent to the VA hospital in Waco, Texas. From what I was told, my dad rented a car in Texas to transport what he called his “secret documents” to safe hiding at a relative’s house about 150 miles away. He left at night so he wouldn't be followed. His car was found on the side of the road where someone called the cops for help. When they arrived, he was disoriented and was taken to a medical center. Apparently in Texas, since the cops basically "arrested" him, he will be forced to have a psych evaluation as well as other tests. They said they were transferring him to the VA and may require a hearing of some sort.

On Tuesday, we talked to a doctor who specializes in geriatric or gerontology psychiatry. He’s scheduled for an MRI for the head and some neuropsych testing. There’s also talk of things such as dementia (primarily because of a word finding problem he has), and is going to find out what might be the cause (e.g., Alzheimers, brain aneurism). She agreed with the possibility of perhaps it being a mild stroke of some kind (in particular with regard to the paranoia). She suggested that we get a power of attorney, and soon, because in the future if his condition deteriorates it will be extremely difficult to do so. Power of attorney would be for financial, on the one hand, and medical on the other.

Right now, he’s seems and sounds fine…I had talked to him about 10 days ago and our conversation was normal and beautiful…He may need assisted care, and right now he also seems fine with that as well. Still…when hearing words like “dementia”, “paranoia” and “Alzheimers”…well, it becomes easy to worry. I recall one time when I was visiting him, and we were driving back from visiting my cousins...we ended up lost because he couldn't remember the name of the street he lived on. We sat in a gas station parking lot while he tried to recall his address (we family members only had his PO Box address, so I was of little help)... My family and I have been talking of moving him back east, and right now that seems what we’ll be doing. But if anyone has dealt with anything even remotely similar, I’d appreciate any help or advice you could give.

Thanks…truly.

Byron

Byron I'm so sorry to hear this I can't give you any advice but u and your family will be in my prayers

no make that two !

Always here for your Byron U and your family are in my prayers...

Oh, darling I am so sorry to hear this, it's a horrible thing to go though.
All I can do is advice you to talk to your dad a lot (on his good days) and discus everything you still need to talk to him about.
I know it's hard, but you need to say goodbye just in case, sometimes things like this drag on for years, but sometimes this person is suddenly a totally different person within a few months.
I hope it will be something they can stop or slow down, but always make sure you deal with the idea of the worse, that way you won't be able to blame yourself not having said the right things to him when he's mentally gone.

I hope I'm not being to harsh, it's just that I've seen this in my family and the pain it gives for both patient and family.
Take care

Byron I am so sorry you have to go through this, My grandfather has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and it sounds just like your situatution. But if it is caught in the early stages, as what it seems your father may be in, it is easier to control.



if you have any questions just ask, Im here..

It sounds like he has mild dementia - and NOT Alzheimers... that is another illness altogether. My Grandad at 89, is suffering from dementia now, we too as a family are suffering by it too..It is a really cruel illness but the support and love from the family can help get us through it.

I would like to chat to you when you get back online..or I will leave you an orgnote that may be of some comfort to you.

And please try not to worry so much, people are here for you

Byron, i can't really offer you any advice either, except to have faith and know that we're all here for you. Take care, man.

Byron, I am sorry to have read this and know these tough times for you are difficult. Keep faith and remember to take time for yourself.. Reflect... and keep good pure positive thoughts. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

Byron, my prayers are with you and your father.
check your org notes

Byron...

My thoughts and prayers are certainly with you and your dad... I truly loved seeing that picture you posted of you with your dad, when you were a baby... wonderfully beautiful.... I'm sorry that things right now are difficult, I hope it is nothing too serious, but if it is... I wish you and your family strength and love... always.

Byron hang in there...the forgetting part sounds like it could be dimentia or Alzheimers...but the paranoia part sounds an awful lot like that movie "A beautiful mind" and that was schizophrenia. Hopefully he can be diagnosed and treated quickly....there are so many things they can do now. Stay strong, you'll get through this. Try and get the legal stuff out of the way so that your father can have a say in it.

Ahh man!! Byron I feel your heartache. Hope all goes well for your father. My father is elderly too although he just had hip replacement surgery as he has been in constant pain and sleeping at night was hell. Your father is lucky he has you. Hope the doctors find out what medications he needs and hopefullly that will get him on the right track again. Good luck.

IAmTheTouch said:

ditto...

Dementia or a stroke sound most likely. My ex-wife's grandmother suffers from dementia, and she gets some of the strangest notions in her head (add in the fact that her hearing and eyesight are bad, and you can imagine the crazy things she comes up with). One afternoon, she kept telling us she saw some sort of animal on the front porch. I went out to investigate, and she swore up and down that I was standing right next to it (of course, there was absolutely nothing there).

Its truly sad, because you just have to do your best to humour them and make them feel content. The paranoia is the worst element of it, since that is so difficult to calm them on. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this Byron. My prayers are with you.

oh man byron..i can relate to what your going through...like jedi's ex's grandma, my grandmama is suffering from dementia due to a stroke.....she has been hospilitalized for the past three months and has displayed behavior similiar to your dad...


i wish your father and your family well during this trying time....

I am so sorry to hear this....

hang in there and take care.

Byron, I sent you an OrgNote.

It must be especially hard since he's so far away; since you probably didn't witness the warning signs of the dementia (I assume that's what it is). But once you get over the shock, you will find that there are ways of dealing with this, people who have dealt with this before, and places where you can go to get information/support.

I think getting the legal issues taken care of is of utmost importance (once you know he is getting proper care etc.) It will save you much time and many headaches down the road, and it will be easier to make decisions from a distance.

I have had to deal with a related situation with someone close to me who suffered from similar mental problems and I will say this, that the fun with dementia is that you can convince people pretty easily that they owe you money!



Good luck, Byron.

Byron, best wishes man.

stay strong.

All the best in taking care of your father

Byron I'm so sorry. I don't have any words of advice, just know that I can relate and empathize. My dad is 81 and has tried to check himself into psyche wards before. They won't admit him, saying he's "fine". Yeah right.

You're in my thoughts and prayers buddy.

Thank you, everyone...*sigh*...I was greeted with so many comforting orgNotes when I logged in...I've not responded to them yet, but I will...I wanted, though, to let you know that I did read your words and they have indeed been an amazing comfort and help, you have no idea...

Thank you again...

I'm so sorry to hear this byron.