Which is your 'modus operandi' when it comes to unpleasant things? Do you tend to avoid thinking about it, or refuse to risk feeling badly when something unpleasant happens in the world or to you? (friendships going bad, breakups, the war in Iraq, HIV/AIDS, pollution, starvation, etc.)

Or do you read the newspaper, watch television, debate with others and get as informed as possible?
[This message was edited Sun May 16 11:31:02 2004 by AnotherLoverToo]

I think it's also quite possible that people "deal" with things going on in the world, while ignoring stuff closer to home--in other words, we do both sometimes.


[This message was edited Sun May 16 11:31:26 2004 by AnotherLoverToo]

I try to ignore it but my mind keeps me worrying about it. Of course, you already know how I am when it comes to these types of things.

I tend to avoid the news... always bad things happening in the world. I feel like I should know more and maybe it would make me a better person, but some of the stuff that happens is sooo horrible. Like when I heard about the beheading... I don't have to see it or hear it... I just read about it and it was hard to get those awful thoughts out of my head.

Then, in personal stuff, I tend to dwell. I want to know why things happen and what people mean... I'm one of those super-sensitive-types. I want to get better at getting over things but sometimes I think if I'm not too sensitive I wont be able to write music. I don't write when I'm happy...



Guess I gotta find a balance somehow.

I worry at first and then I tend to ignore it. It really depends on what the situation is that dictates my response, but I am a worrier. I try to resolve things myself without outside help, which is not always the best way, I know.

AnotherLoverToo said:

As for personal matters, I tend to shrug it off with a "C'est la vie" attitude. I've rarely had "friendships going bad", but, when they have, I felt no guilt about it because I knew it was due to changes in me that the other party wasn't comfortable with (some people want you to remain the same forever) and - in the end - you have to be true to yourself.

In terms of breakups, when friends have been cut loose, I always advise them to move on rather than wallowing; in the words of Bruce Springsteen, "You can't start a fire, sittin' 'round cryin' over a broken heart."

World events? To quote David Baerwald, "Without denial, our society would explode; we couldn't look each other in the eye." That said, I do keep informed, but rarely debate. I vote with my dollars.

I used to ignore things, but have learned that it's better to deal with things in a straighforward manner. I've always liked the Serenity prayer even tho I'm not too religious. There's a lot of truth in it regardless.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

I feel myself get more emotionally involved than I used to regarding current events and such. Maybe it was after 9-11, I dunno, but it became easier to feel more connected to the world(?) And with personal stuff I probably dwell on some things too long. I am a feely person. Emotion wise, not creepy -wise.

There were times in the past I ignored certain things simply because a situation was foreign to me, and I didn't know how to deal with it, or even if I should have. But nowadays depending on exactly what it is, I tend to deal with it. I may have to first examine my conscience about whatever it is in some cases, but eventually I deal with it. I can't have important, unfinished, business hanging over my head forever.

I try to deal with things as best as I can, you cant hold on to things that hurt you.

What an interesting subject.

Well, as far as worldly news goes, I update myself in very small doses, just to get a flavour of what is going on and I tend to go through a sifting process due to the way it is reported. I observe my own responses to stories, which is my process while hearing news.

Closer to home, I'm actually learning new ways to deal with myself in relation to the people that I interact with in my life. This process started in a very conscious way once I became aware of not being responsible for my thoughts and feelings. But I've learnt how to not need other people to hold 'things' for me. So now, I can deal with myself well. I don't need anyone in that respect, apart from my therapist sometimes.

Having learnt how to deal with my own feelings thoughts and behaviour, I don't have to ignore it or pretend it belongs to someone else. And I've gone through a process with everyone that I relate to, to ensure that I am not dealing with other peoples 'stuff' - the difficulty I have, and what I'm currently struggling with, is how to communicate that to other people. I am sure that once I learn to confidently give constructive feedback, my current sometimes clumsy attempts will improve.

How about you?

PurplePassion65 said:

I agree. Holding onto something pollutes the entire system

The way I "deal" has a lot to do with how I see life. I believe that experiences have no value, there is no good or bad only experience. We can either choose to learn from our dealings with others and the world we inhabit, which requires many hours of introspection, or we can brush them aside and refuse the opportunity for knowledge the universe has thrown our way.

So Anotherlovertoo, to answer your question I choose to "get as informed as possible".

(BTW, I LOVE your sig line!)

depends.

The bigger issues in the world (war in Iraq, HIV/AIDS, pollution - using the examples you used) don't bother me because I take the whole 'ignorance is bliss' stance. Until something hits home to me, in a very personal way, I just try to stay out of it (I've also got the whole apathy thing going on - where I'm pretty dead set on the notion that little ol' me couldn't make a single difference, esp. regarding the big issues).

I tend to focus on my own problems, never thinking twice about stuff going outside in the 'real world' (especially these current issues in Iraq... jesus christ). Here's an example - I LOVE horror movies but HATE war movies because I can't stand 'real' violence. I watched Deer Hunter last night and almost vomited from the tension/violence/fear. I devour fictionalized blood and gore but when it's real (or portrayed as so) I just can't stomach it. At all. It upsets me for ages and ages.

This whole post is a convoluted mess but there ya go...


.....
[This message was edited Sun May 16 15:38:13 2004 by Natsume]

AnotherLoverToo said:

I do this. I have a need to know as much as possible about whats going on!

I am a head on type of person... I deal with issues immediately. (But then you already know this)

I don't watch tv, but I do read Drudge.. I just am stuck in a place where I don't know how to make a difference...