To all my friends, thanks to you for sending me chain letters in 2003:


* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for
removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle
infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they
cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and
sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone
will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to
dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls
to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look
at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my
kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce Account. A sick girl
that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny --that
girl, she's been 7 since 1993...

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special forward to as many people you know e-mail program.

* My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a
paid vacation to Disneyland.

* I starved myself waiting on the $50 gift certificates from Applebees
that never arrived.

* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain
that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.


**IMPORTANT NOTE: If you send this by e-mail to at least 1200 people in
the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7pm.

But at least you got that $250 cookie recipe for free, huh....

What friends?