A husband's take on sex

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband in the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my
emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs
as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that
nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the
jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
tell you...she was so excited.

She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
lets go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for awhile...You're just not in touch with my financial needs
as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over
a frozen hell and monkeys fly out of her butt.

well, i can't speak to your marital battles that's frikkin funny about your almost shopping spree

but i do beleive the biological difference in our libidos and approach to sex is because one gender actually bears the child for nine months, then cares for it regardless of whether the other gender is around past fertilization of the ova.. ..

I can give a long drawn out answer to this (during my life)... and almost feel my own personal "need" to. Although... I won't be doing it here.

Ugh, all I can think... as of now, is two more days until I am done with student teaching.

That's showing her! Way to go, dude.

This sounds familiar. lol

Oh the joys of not being married

Sounds like you're not getting any.

Ummm, please note that my post was a joke. I pinched it from an email (I think althom was onto it).

MsSmartypants said:

There are a lot of men who don't/can't put out for their wives/gfs, too.
[This message was edited Mon Apr 19 20:39:44 2004 by AnotherLoverToo]

AnotherLoverToo said:

Not this big boy!

bkw said:

Hi B

bkw said:

bkw said:

pifffftttt!

I was serious.

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

Hi J

Whoa, u DID that?!

That's so funny man!!