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Org Urban Legends. Do you know any urban legends relating to the Org?
Here's a few that I've heard. And they really happened, they did 
Therapy was at the seaside with a punter one day and the two of them decided to go on a boat trip. They were thoroughly enjoying their ride when all of a sudden, Therapy's gold ring, given to her by Elijah Wood, fell into the water. Understandably, Therapy was horrified as it was such a precious gift. She went home that day feeling justifiably miserable. Some time passed and although she still felt a little depressed whenever she thought about her ring (oo-er), she'd pretty much gotten over the loss. One evening, both she and another, rich punter went for a meal at a smart London restaurant. She was unsure what to order, but the waiter recommended the halibut. She took the waiter's advice and waited patiently for her meal, sipping wine and laughing at her punter's jokes. Soon, the meal arrived and she tucked in. Suddenly, during the meal, her fork hit something solid... Just then, she clutched her stomach and doubled-up in agony. She soon found herself on the floor, unsure of what was causing the excrutiating pain. Someone called for a doctor and it wasn't long before someone came to her aid. Within a few minutes, she gave birth to a lovely, bouncing baby boy! And she didn't even know she was pregnant! _____ madartista once borrowed a gay porn video from 2the9s. It was called 'Hardcore Fist-Fest Volume III', and madartista just knew that he was going to enjoy it. He'd also recently bought a second video player for his upstairs bedroom, so not only could he watch the vid in the comfort of his own bed, but he would also be able to copy it so that he could watch it again and again (well at least three times, before it got boring just like every other porn video ever). The first night, he watched the video all the way through, pausing it on the expressions of pain on the faces of some of the fistees. It wasn't long before he'd lost his mess and fell asleep... The following morning, still horny, he decided to watch the video again but as he was doing so, he'd make a copy. Due to the fact that the new video machine's instructions were so complicated, he ended up losing his temper and was unable to work out just how to use this new machine to copy from the old one. He was just starting to get used to the idea that he wouldn't be able to make a copy when he had a brainwave. He'd get out his digital camcorder and use that to video the screen of the T.V. whilst the porn video was playing - genius! Once finished, he put the video back in it's case, ready to give back to 2the9s. A few days later, madartista got the urge to watch the video again and started to play it. Damn! He'd successfully managed to keep the original and had returned the copy to 2the 9s. Ah well, he'd just apologise and make sure that he swapped it next time he saw '9s. At that exact moment, 2the9s started to watch the video. It wasn't so much the fact that it was a copy of his video that surprised him, it was the reflection on the screen of madartista, masturbating furiously behind his camcorder. _____ IAmTheTouch was out on a late-night drive with her husband a few weeks ago. They were trying to re-create those golden moments before they were married when they'd find somewhere secluded to make-out in the car. After a sensational sesh, they'd started to drive back when the car had broken down. Realising that they were out of gas, Monty (MrIAmTheTouch) decided that he'd take a walk to the gas station that they'd passed only 10 minutes before in the car and get some fuel. IAmTheTouch decided to stay in the car. Monty had been gone for about half an hour and IAmTheTouch was starting to get sleepy. She turned on the radio to try and stay awake (and to take away the loneliness), but her eyes became heavier and heavier. The news came on the radio and she barely heard the report about the one-eyed madman that had escaped from the local looney-bin and was exceptionally dangerous and shouldn't be approached! Time passed... Suddenly, she awoke with a start! She was unsure what had aroused her (oo-er). She didn't have to wait long before she heard it again. A loud, thumping noise on the top of the car. She froze in horror. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her bosoms heaving, straining to be free of the flimsy fabric that was holding them prisoners within. The noise came again, rocking the car and filling IAmTheTouch with an icy fear. She was terrified, everywhere was so dark and so isolated. The noise again! And again! And again! Just when she thought that she couldn't bear it any more, the darkness was suddenly broken by a pair of headlights on the road in front. The police car came to a halt and an officer flew out of the car and pointed a rifle at whatever it was on the roof of IAmTheTouch's vehicle. Another officer spoke to IAmTheTouch through a loudspeaker thingy. 'Please leave the car very slowly and don't turn around to look back at the vehicle!' he shouted. IAmTheTouch did as she was told. She carefully pulled the handle on the door as silently as she could and slowly pushed the door open. Fear gripped her like a passionate lover as she move out of the car. One leg first... Then she swivelled around... Then the other leg... And then she lifted herself out of the car and slowly walked away and towards the waiting police car. She wanted to turn around. She wanted to so badly... And she did. The look of horror on her face was undescribable. Stood on top of her car, looking like a crazed madman was SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy. 'I've found Therapy's ring!' he shouted with glee. He'd read Therapy's thread about losing her ring a few weeks earlier and had found it on a fishing trip. Recognising IAmTheTouch in the car, whilst he was out on one of his sinister, midnight walks, he'd decided to tell her the great news, but was unable to wake her up by knocking on the car window. Banging on the roof had been the only option. _____ | |
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Very interesting.....  
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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These are awesome.. Any urban legends about me??  The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom - Anais Nin
"Unnecessary giggling"...  | |
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BabyCakes said: These are awesome.. Any urban legends about me??
That thought crossed my mind too
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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Haystack said: madartista once borrowed a gay porn video from 2the9s. It was called 'Hardcore Fist-Fest Volume III', and madartista just knew that he was going to enjoy it. He'd also recently bought a second video player for his upstairs bedroom, so not only could he watch the vid in the comfort of his own bed, but he would also be able to copy it so that he could watch it again and again (well at least three times, before it got boring just like every other porn video ever).
The first night, he watched the video all the way through, pausing it on the expressions of pain on the faces of some of the fistees. It wasn't long before he'd lost his mess and fell asleep... The following morning, still horny, he decided to watch the video again but as he was doing so, he'd make a copy. Due to the fact that the new video machine's instructions were so complicated, he ended up losing his temper and was unable to work out just how to use this new machine to copy from the old one. He was just starting to get used to the idea that he wouldn't be able to make a copy when he had a brainwave. He'd get out his digital camcorder and use that to video the screen of the T.V. whilst the porn video was playing - genius! Once finished, he put the video back in it's case, ready to give back to 2the9s. A few days later, madartista got the urge to watch the video again and started to play it. Damn! He'd successfully managed to keep the original and had returned the copy to 2the 9s. Ah well, he'd just apologise and make sure that he swapped it next time he saw '9s. At that exact moment, 2the9s started to watch the video. It wasn't so much the fact that it was a copy of his video that surprised him, it was the reflection on the screen of madartista, masturbating furiously behind his camcorder. That was MY fucking video actually. and He's still got 'Felching Rubber Fistboys III' too, the bastard.  | |
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BabyCakes went on holiday to Bali a few years ago. She had a great time and had no problems at all during her trip. Or so she thought...
A few days after her return, she'd noticed a small, reddish bump on the side of her face. It looked like something had stung her as it itched ever-so-slightly. Thinking not a lot of it, she bought some cream and spent the next few days applying it to the bump. But it didn't go away. In fact, it started to get bigger. BabyCakes started to get a little worried and decided to go and see a doctor. The doctor didn't seem too worried about it, but assured BabyCakes that it was probably just a bite from some insect or other and gave her some anti-biotics. The following day, Baby was in the bath when suddenly, the bump started to throb. She felt what appeared to be movement within it and felt a cold shiver down her spine. Suddenly, the pain intensified and she felt the bump burst. She looked across at the mirror and screamed in horror. Pouring out of the bleeding, pus-filled wound were hundreds and hundreds of baby emoticons, native to Bali!!! 
 
  
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so YOU are my friend's sister's cousin!!
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Haystack said: BabyCakes went on holiday to Bali a few years ago. She had a great time and had no problems at all during her trip. Or so she thought...
A few days after her return, she'd noticed a small, reddish bump on the side of her face. It looked like something had stung her as it itched ever-so-slightly. Thinking not a lot of it, she bought some cream and spent the next few days applying it to the bump. But it didn't go away. In fact, it started to get bigger. BabyCakes started to get a little worried and decided to go and see a doctor. The doctor didn't seem too worried about it, but assured BabyCakes that it was probably just a bite from some insect or other and gave her some anti-biotics. The following day, Baby was in the bath when suddenly, the bump started to throb. She felt what appeared to be movement within it and felt a cold shiver down her spine. Suddenly, the pain intensified and she felt the bump burst. She looked across at the mirror and screamed in horror. Pouring out of the bleeding, pus-filled wound were hundreds and hundreds of baby emoticons, native to Bali!!!
 YOu rock Haystack! The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom - Anais Nin
"Unnecessary giggling"... | |
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bananacologne said: Haystack said: madartista once borrowed a gay porn video from 2the9s. It was called 'Hardcore Fist-Fest Volume III', and madartista just knew that he was going to enjoy it. He'd also recently bought a second video player for his upstairs bedroom, so not only could he watch the vid in the comfort of his own bed, but he would also be able to copy it so that he could watch it again and again (well at least three times, before it got boring just like every other porn video ever).
The first night, he watched the video all the way through, pausing it on the expressions of pain on the faces of some of the fistees. It wasn't long before he'd lost his mess and fell asleep... The following morning, still horny, he decided to watch the video again but as he was doing so, he'd make a copy. Due to the fact that the new video machine's instructions were so complicated, he ended up losing his temper and was unable to work out just how to use this new machine to copy from the old one. He was just starting to get used to the idea that he wouldn't be able to make a copy when he had a brainwave. He'd get out his digital camcorder and use that to video the screen of the T.V. whilst the porn video was playing - genius! Once finished, he put the video back in it's case, ready to give back to 2the9s. A few days later, madartista got the urge to watch the video again and started to play it. Damn! He'd successfully managed to keep the original and had returned the copy to 2the 9s. Ah well, he'd just apologise and make sure that he swapped it next time he saw '9s. At that exact moment, 2the9s started to watch the video. It wasn't so much the fact that it was a copy of his video that surprised him, it was the reflection on the screen of madartista, masturbating furiously behind his camcorder. That was MY fucking video actually. and He's still got 'Felching Rubber Fistboys III' too, the bastard. 2the9's and BananaCologne both signed LEGALLY binding Confidentiality Agreements re:this issue and all other pornographic dealings with me. Disclosing this story to ANYONE is in complete violation of the law. Haystack's going down, too. (I mean in the legal sense, dirty birds!!!) Anyway, the whole thing was a misunderstanding which is best left in (my) porn closet. I kindly ask that all further discussion of said issue CEASE and DESIST at once. I got Londell on the job. Don't make me break out all y'alls monkey videos!!! http://elmadartista.tumblr.com/ http://twitter.com/madartista | |
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Haystack said: madartista once borrowed a gay porn video from 2the9s. It was called 'Hardcore Fist-Fest Volume III', and madartista just knew that he was going to enjoy it. He'd also recently bought a second video player for his upstairs bedroom, so not only could he watch the vid in the comfort of his own bed, but he would also be able to copy it so that he could watch it again and again (well at least three times, before it got boring just like every other porn video ever).
The first night, he watched the video all the way through, pausing it on the expressions of pain on the faces of some of the fistees. It wasn't long before he'd lost his mess and fell asleep... The following morning, still horny, he decided to watch the video again but as he was doing so, he'd make a copy. Due to the fact that the new video machine's instructions were so complicated, he ended up losing his temper and was unable to work out just how to use this new machine to copy from the old one. He was just starting to get used to the idea that he wouldn't be able to make a copy when he had a brainwave. He'd get out his digital camcorder and use that to video the screen of the T.V. whilst the porn video was playing - genius! Once finished, he put the video back in it's case, ready to give back to 2the9s. A few days later, madartista got the urge to watch the video again and started to play it. Damn! He'd successfully managed to keep the original and had returned the copy to 2the 9s. Ah well, he'd just apologise and make sure that he swapped it next time he saw '9s. At that exact moment, 2the9s started to watch the video. It wasn't so much the fact that it was a copy of his video that surprised him, it was the reflection on the screen of madartista, masturbating furiously behind his camcorder. Memories...like the corners of my mind...  | |
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2the9s said: Memories...like the corners of my mind...
 don't cry. shoot another video my way, and we can start all over again!http://elmadartista.tumblr.com/ http://twitter.com/madartista | |
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 When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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bkw said: sit and spin on a zucchini, bitchface.  Oh shit, my hat done fell off | |
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INSATIABLE said: bkw said: sit and spin on a zucchini, bitchface.
Well harsh!?!?!?! | |
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bkw said: You know, this emoticon has always mystified me... Why would anybody want to lick a Christmas tree? And why isn't it decorated?  | |
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Haystack said: bkw said: You know, this emoticon has always mystified me... Why would anybody want to lick a Christmas tree? And why isn't it decorated? In many countries it is customary to lick the Christmas tree repeatedly PRIOR to decorating to ensure that reindeer don't shit on your roof. The more you lick, the less likely you'll find shit on your roof. That emoticon pretty much means, "please don't shit on my roof." http://elmadartista.tumblr.com/ http://twitter.com/madartista | |
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madartista said: Haystack said: You know, this emoticon has always mystified me... Why would anybody want to lick a Christmas tree? And why isn't it decorated? In many countries it is customary to lick the Christmas tree repeatedly PRIOR to decorating to ensure that reindeer don't shit on your roof. The more you lick, the less likely you'll find shit on your roof. That emoticon pretty much means, "please don't shit on my roof." i see a signature here...  | |
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luv4u said: BabyCakes said: These are awesome.. Any urban legends about me??
That thought crossed my mind too luv4u had just purchased a donut and a Sprite and was sitting in a food court in her local mall reading a newspaper. After a few minutes, some punky looking guy came and sat on the other side of her table. She wasn't paying much attention for a few moments, however she looked up and noticed, with surprise, that he'd picked up the donut and was boldy eating it seemingly without caring. She wanted to say something, but got the impression that this punky man might make a bit of a scene, so she kept quiet. But then, once he'd finished the donut, he picked up the Sprite and started to drink that down, and in the most uncouth fashion, too. By now, luv4u was getting totally pissed off. She tried to contain her anger, but couldn't. She didn't give a fuck whether this punk made a scene or not. She looked directly into the punk's eyes and said 'I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing, but people like you really get on my fucking nerves! You think that just because I'm a woman that I'm going to be scared of you and not going to stand up for myself when you steal my stuff? People like you shouldn't be allowed on the fucking street, asshole!' The punky guy looked surprised, himself. He stood up and walked away as quickly as possible without saying a word. Feeling proud for standing up for herself, luv4u folded up her newspaper and decided to leave. It was only then that she saw that her donut and Sprite were still there, untouched underneath where her newspaper had been. | |
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A stressed-out JDINTERACTIVE decided, after much consideration and advice from his friends, to go to a massage parlour. He found the most respectable one that he could and, once he'd arrived, found it to be quite a pleasant environment. He was in the waiting room for only a few minutes before the masseuse turned up - and she was beautiful!
Stuttering with every sentence he uttered (from nerves), he was led by this beauty into the room where he was to receive his massage. After a few minutes, she was giving him the most sensual and relaxing experience of his life. Why hadn't he done this before?!?! What he did feel a little nervous about, however, was the erection that was forming between his legs. He was thankful that he was laying on his stomach. Although he knew that he would soon be asked to turn over so that this beautiful masseuse could 'do' his front. And that moment came far too soon. He rolled over and nearly died of embarrassment when the woman looked at the tent that had formed in the towel that was wrapped around his nether regions. She paused for a moment before speaking; 'Oh' she said, awkwardly but with a smile on her face 'Would you like a wank?' she asked. JD couldn't believe what was happening. He paused for a moment before answering, 'Er - oh... Well, why not?' The masseuse left the room and JD started to wonder what treat was going to be instore. He'd been nervous about doing this, but now he'd started, he was quite happy to carry on with the experience. And he never dreamt that it would have led to this. What a memory this was going to be!!! And how was she preparing for it right now? Was she putting on some kind of sexy outfit? Was she readying herself for the experience? He didn't mind if she put on gloves or something. After all, she didn't know him, why would she want to do it with her bare hands? The time passed, with JD getting more and more excited as he wondered what he was to experience in the next few minutes... After about 10 minutes, she popped her head through the door, 'Have you finished yet?' she asked. | |
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madartista said: In many countries it is customary to lick the Christmas tree repeatedly PRIOR to decorating to ensure that reindeer don't shit on your roof. The more you lick, the less likely you'll find shit on your roof. That emoticon pretty much means, "please don't shit on my roof."
copy, print, save & frame! | |
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Please, everybody, don’t delete this! Send this on to all your friends, because it’s a true story, and it might happen to you. This is not a hoax, I know for a fact that it happened to my friend’s sister’s cousin, and I’m passing this along so that others can avoid being a victim of this! (N.B. – names have been changed to protect the innocent!)
One day, this guy, his name was Hayslack, came out of the mall with lots of bags in his hands. He had been shopping for clothes, since he wanted to impress this guy, KBW, when they met up for a drink at the local pub. They had met online on a website devoted to Engelbert Humperdinck, of whom both were long-time devoted fans. Hayslack was impressed by KBW’s devotion to securing the voting rights of toddlers in Midwestern Australia, and KBW was smitten by Hayslack’s hairy toes, the stuff of legends on engelberthumperdinck.org. So while Hayslack was pondering whether to wear the poofy shirt with the purple slacks, or the moo-moo with flip-flops and a lot of bling-bling, he stepped up to his car, not sensing the danger that lay ahead. Apparently, there is a gang of Nigerian businessmen who are trying to save the million-dollar fortunes of their respective uncles, who were unseated from their positions of power by a bloody military coup. Unwittingly, Hayslack had signed up to have them deposit their uncle’s considerable fortune in his bank account. Now that they had all of his banking information, the real purpose for their visit could be executed. Hayslack didn't know what they were really after. As soon as he stepped up to the car, underneath which the Nigerian businessmen had been hiding, they cut his tendons in his calves with a box cutter, took him to a hotel, where he woke up the next morning, up to his neck in a tub full of ice. After he completely regained consciousness, Hayslack looked up in horror, and next to the tub was a small table with a phone and a note that read: “If you pass this on to 10 of your friends, AOL and Microsoft will make a donation to a poor child dying of cancer. Don’t disappoint little Timmy. Oh, and we have your kidneys.” Needless to say, Hayslack was almost late for his date with KBW. It’s a true story. These things are happening all over the country. Please send this message to all of your friends. You may save little Timmy. If you don’t pass this on, large numbers of tiny spiders will crawl into your mouth while you’re sleeping tonight. Honest! They come from Nigeria! A friend of my cousin’s boyfriend told me!! | |
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Hayslack 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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One thing... punter?!!??! | |
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iamthetouch that almost sounds like somethin that would be on monty python!!! | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: iamthetouch
that almost sounds like somethin that would be on monty python!!! hey, if you watch enough of it... | |
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IAmTheTouch said: Please, everybody, don’t delete this! Send this on to all your friends, because it’s a true story, and it might happen to you. This is not a hoax, I know for a fact that it happened to my friend’s sister’s cousin, and I’m passing this along so that others can avoid being a victim of this! (N.B. – names have been changed to protect the innocent!)
One day, this guy, his name was Hayslack, came out of the mall with lots of bags in his hands. He had been shopping for clothes, since he wanted to impress this guy, KBW, when they met up for a drink at the local pub. They had met online on a website devoted to Engelbert Humperdinck, of whom both were long-time devoted fans. Hayslack was impressed by KBW’s devotion to securing the voting rights of toddlers in Midwestern Australia, and KBW was smitten by Hayslack’s hairy toes, the stuff of legends on engelberthumperdinck.org. So while Hayslack was pondering whether to wear the poofy shirt with the purple slacks, or the moo-moo with flip-flops and a lot of bling-bling, he stepped up to his car, not sensing the danger that lay ahead. Apparently, there is a gang of Nigerian businessmen who are trying to save the million-dollar fortunes of their respective uncles, who were unseated from their positions of power by a bloody military coup. Unwittingly, Hayslack had signed up to have them deposit their uncle’s considerable fortune in his bank account. Now that they had all of his banking information, the real purpose for their visit could be executed. Hayslack didn't know what they were really after. As soon as he stepped up to the car, underneath which the Nigerian businessmen had been hiding, they cut his tendons in his calves with a box cutter, took him to a hotel, where he woke up the next morning, up to his neck in a tub full of ice. After he completely regained consciousness, Hayslack looked up in horror, and next to the tub was a small table with a phone and a note that read: “If you pass this on to 10 of your friends, AOL and Microsoft will make a donation to a poor child dying of cancer. Don’t disappoint little Timmy. Oh, and we have your kidneys.” Needless to say, Hayslack was almost late for his date with KBW. It’s a true story. These things are happening all over the country. Please send this message to all of your friends. You may save little Timmy. If you don’t pass this on, large numbers of tiny spiders will crawl into your mouth while you’re sleeping tonight. Honest! They come from Nigeria! A friend of my cousin’s boyfriend told me!! Thank God this didn't happen to anybody I know... | |
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Therapy said: One thing... punter?!!??!
Oh, like it's a secret. | |
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Haystack said: IAmTheTouch said: Please, everybody, don’t delete this! Send this on to all your friends, because it’s a true story, and it might happen to you. This is not a hoax, I know for a fact that it happened to my friend’s sister’s cousin, and I’m passing this along so that others can avoid being a victim of this! (N.B. – names have been changed to protect the innocent!)
One day, this guy, his name was Hayslack, came out of the mall with lots of bags in his hands. He had been shopping for clothes, since he wanted to impress this guy, KBW, when they met up for a drink at the local pub. They had met online on a website devoted to Engelbert Humperdinck, of whom both were long-time devoted fans. Hayslack was impressed by KBW’s devotion to securing the voting rights of toddlers in Midwestern Australia, and KBW was smitten by Hayslack’s hairy toes, the stuff of legends on engelberthumperdinck.org. So while Hayslack was pondering whether to wear the poofy shirt with the purple slacks, or the moo-moo with flip-flops and a lot of bling-bling, he stepped up to his car, not sensing the danger that lay ahead. Apparently, there is a gang of Nigerian businessmen who are trying to save the million-dollar fortunes of their respective uncles, who were unseated from their positions of power by a bloody military coup. Unwittingly, Hayslack had signed up to have them deposit their uncle’s considerable fortune in his bank account. Now that they had all of his banking information, the real purpose for their visit could be executed. Hayslack didn't know what they were really after. As soon as he stepped up to the car, underneath which the Nigerian businessmen had been hiding, they cut his tendons in his calves with a box cutter, took him to a hotel, where he woke up the next morning, up to his neck in a tub full of ice. After he completely regained consciousness, Hayslack looked up in horror, and next to the tub was a small table with a phone and a note that read: “If you pass this on to 10 of your friends, AOL and Microsoft will make a donation to a poor child dying of cancer. Don’t disappoint little Timmy. Oh, and we have your kidneys.” Needless to say, Hayslack was almost late for his date with KBW. It’s a true story. These things are happening all over the country. Please send this message to all of your friends. You may save little Timmy. If you don’t pass this on, large numbers of tiny spiders will crawl into your mouth while you’re sleeping tonight. Honest! They come from Nigeria! A friend of my cousin’s boyfriend told me!! Thank God this didn't happen to anybody I know... i know, that would have been horrible! 
pass it on - be sure to save your friends (and Timmy!) oh, yeah, and i'm with Therapy - i'm deeply disturbed that i might not recognize a punter when i meet one... don't you think you should fill us in??? | |
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IAmTheTouch said: Please, everybody, don’t delete this! Send this on to all your friends, because it’s a true story, and it might happen to you. This is not a hoax, I know for a fact that it happened to my friend’s sister’s cousin, and I’m passing this along so that others can avoid being a victim of this! (N.B. – names have been changed to protect the innocent!)
One day, this guy, his name was Hayslack, came out of the mall with lots of bags in his hands. He had been shopping for clothes, since he wanted to impress this guy, KBW, when they met up for a drink at the local pub. They had met online on a website devoted to Engelbert Humperdinck, of whom both were long-time devoted fans. Hayslack was impressed by KBW’s devotion to securing the voting rights of toddlers in Midwestern Australia, and KBW was smitten by Hayslack’s hairy toes, the stuff of legends on engelberthumperdinck.org. So while Hayslack was pondering whether to wear the poofy shirt with the purple slacks, or the moo-moo with flip-flops and a lot of bling-bling, he stepped up to his car, not sensing the danger that lay ahead. Apparently, there is a gang of Nigerian businessmen who are trying to save the million-dollar fortunes of their respective uncles, who were unseated from their positions of power by a bloody military coup. Unwittingly, Hayslack had signed up to have them deposit their uncle’s considerable fortune in his bank account. Now that they had all of his banking information, the real purpose for their visit could be executed. Hayslack didn't know what they were really after. As soon as he stepped up to the car, underneath which the Nigerian businessmen had been hiding, they cut his tendons in his calves with a box cutter, took him to a hotel, where he woke up the next morning, up to his neck in a tub full of ice. After he completely regained consciousness, Hayslack looked up in horror, and next to the tub was a small table with a phone and a note that read: “If you pass this on to 10 of your friends, AOL and Microsoft will make a donation to a poor child dying of cancer. Don’t disappoint little Timmy. Oh, and we have your kidneys.” Needless to say, Hayslack was almost late for his date with KBW. It’s a true story. These things are happening all over the country. Please send this message to all of your friends. You may save little Timmy. If you don’t pass this on, large numbers of tiny spiders will crawl into your mouth while you’re sleeping tonight. Honest! They come from Nigeria! A friend of my cousin’s boyfriend told me!! You wouldn't believe it but a similar thing happened to me once. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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INSATIABLE said: bkw said: sit and spin on a zucchini, bitchface. Dems fighting words.  When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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