Which do you identify with most?

I've met people who are always "BLACK" or "GAY" or whatever and everything they do, say, or how they respond to life is connected to being "BLACK" or whatever.

I know when I became a new mom, I was always referring to myself as a "mother". I couldn't have a conversation without saying something about being a mother.

i think that i identify myself as being a woman and female more than my race, which is ambiguous, or my sexual orientation. According to my mother, i've been like this since birth and always gave her a hard time when she wanted to dress me in pants, even as an infant. so much for social conditioning.

Great question. I guess mother first, gender, sexual orientation, then race.

my main identifier shifts from my job (social work) to my sexual orientation (queer) to my gender (male) and lastly my diet preference (vegetarian) depending on situations....

For example, in my social work courses at school, I identify 1st as queer. I think this is to make people aware from the get-go my perspective and the issues I will bring to the table for discussion. Certain trainings I attend, my gender becomes primary. In the field of social work I am often one of the only men at trainings. That identity takes the forefront when it occurs. Whenever I meet new people at work, in social settings, etc...the vegetarian identity becomes a main thing. That's just self defense to get my diet on the table and get through the "why" questions up front.

my race/culture is rarely my main identification. That seems pretty typical for 'my culture.' I've realized that people often identify most strongly with the facet of their personality that they've had to fight for the most. Being "white" in the US, I've been blessed/cursed with never having to really consider my culture...

I think of myself as a Brewers/Bucks fan or maybe even a Prince fan. Honestly.

OWWEEOOWW OWWEEOOWWW MEE SOO HUNNGRRYYYYY!

I'm just me.

In order, I guess it would be:

A man,
A gay man,
A gay white man,
A gay white English man.

I never pick and choose these labels consciously though.

Left-handed,
Left-handed Leo,
Left-handed Leo only child,
Left-handed Leo only child vegetarian,
Left-handed Leo only child vegetarian gay man

Pretty much in that order.

Anxiety said:

i'm an only child, too!

Anxiety, we're soooo close, man.


That's an interesting question. I feel society deals with me first on the levels of race and gender. As a black male, there's just a lot I deal with in society: marginalization, ignorance, stereotypes, etc. And, not just by non-blacks. As many a Spike Lee has shown, we have our own intracultural issues, sometimes.

My struggle is constantly to push all the other demographics aside and try to best live my life as a follower of Christ. It's difficult when the -isms rear their ugly heads. But everybody has to deal with those, not just black men.

My list:

Man
Christian Man
Black Christian Man
Black Christian Musician Man
(Sometimes-lefthanded) Black Christian Musician Man
(Sometimes-lefthanded, occasionally vegetarian) Black Christian Musician Man
(Sometimes-lefthanded, occasionally vegetarian) Black Christian only-child Musician Man
(Sometimes-lefthanded, occasionally vegetarian) Black Christian only-child Musician Man born in July
(Sometimes-lefthanded, occasionally vegetarian) Black Christian only-child Musician Man born in July who owns a dog

ThreadBare said:

what kind of dog?

A teeny, tiny mini doxie. He's a sweet, good dog.

ThreadBare said:

they're okay. i like labs myself. give me a big dog anyday!

I idenitify myself as a woman first, then American, then black. I don't identify myself on a sexual orientational level because I personally don't believe in that

jessyMD32781 said:

lil dogs, lil poop. Big dogs...

ThreadBare said:

lil dogs = yippy yappy, high strung, ankle biters

big dogs = love.

Usually the first thing I mention is how much I love animals, namely my 3 dogs.

I identify with other artists, though I've been in a major lull the past two years.

Also, if someone assumes I'm straight, I'll correct them.

I guess it's sorta situational. I tend to identify with the traits that make me the most different from others in certain situations.
At work, I'm the only woman in Leadership in my department, so I identify with being a woman very much.
When I go out to the gay bar, I identify myself as a woman who is straight.
I'd never felt that I identified as being American until I traveled to other countries.
At weddings, funerals and religious holidays, I identify with being an atheist.

Rhondab, you're really digging deep for your threads lately. They've been great.

My identification is also situational. If I'm in a setting that revolves around friendly commonalities (i.e., a gay bar, an all-black barbershop, a writers convention, etc.), I'll likely identify first with that in-group. Should some situation arise where a part of myself is invoked or embattled, that part often steps up proportionate to the challenge being posed.

It's funny, though... as I've gotten older, I find my identification shifts become less siutationally pronounced. Where before it was downright crucial to my social (and, in some cases, physical) health to keep the "gay," "suburban" or "Prince fan" part of me hidden, for example, I'm a lot more confident now in being all of me at any given time.

jessyMD32781 said:

My dog is mellow, man. Had he been a yipper, I wouldn't have bought him.

a mellow small dog?!? you must be the best owner in the world.

Female
Black Female
Single Black Female (once again)
Single Black Female Student
Beautiful Single Black Female Student

I think I identify differently depending on the situation as well. Most of the time though, it never crosses my mind. It's just not that important to me. Personally, I've always found it rather annoying when a single part of a person's identity (gay, black, parent, middle-aged, whatever) becomes the most important aspect to them. I have a friend (for lack of a better word) who works the fact that he's gay into EVERY SINGLE conversation possible. Even when it has nothing to do with it. You could be discussing, say, green JELL-O, and he'll be like "Well, as a gay man, I think this...." Fucking idiot.

But here I am, labelled and neatly boxed for you all: (but in no particular order)


Female
Metis
Bisexual
Canadian
Single
Short

kiss85 said:

ThreadBare said:

kiss85 said:

I KNEW these hair plugs would pay off!

ThreadBare said:

hair plugs???

It was your smile that set me off

kiss85 said:

Right ... I ... meant ... um ... Colgate.