I'm just sick to death of it. Screaming and yelling and abusive. All the live long day. I hear the one yelling and swearing and evil and the other crying and wailing. Breaking glass and slapping and wincing. I just got done calling the police on them and of course it took them 25 minutes to get here so all was quiet once they finally did and that fucker is just sitting over there not being hauled away. This is the third time my other nighbor and I have had to call in the last month. Both of the other times the evil one had left before they got here. I can't stand it anymore. I need a new apartment.

CarrieMpls said:

Total, total empathy for you. Before living where I am now, I lived next door to a women roughly in her late 30's and her son, roughy 18. She was always out, he had his music blaring, would smash furniture against walls and when she was there, they'd shout like fuck at each other, usually around 2 or 3 am.

Your neighbours are obviously in a lot of pain and suffering and it is really hard for them I imagine. And unless you stop your hearing, you suffer too. And that's not fair, cos you're not asking for this to go on. Perhaps, considering your options is a good idea. I didn't look back once after I'd moved.

The part that saddens me the most is the abuse-ee is always crying "I love you, I love you". He's a 21 year old kid! He still hasn't learned what love is! It's just so depressing.

The best thing you can do is just move away as quickly as you can.

As hard as it is sometimes, you just have to accept that life can sometimes be shit and unfair, and you can't always make everything good.

Me and my other half lived with the neighbours from hell for quite some time and finally we realised that we were better off just getting away from it, even though we knew that what we were doing was ultimately a cop-out.

A happy, content life should be your ultimate goal, regardless of whether or not you sacrifice your pride and/or morals to get there.

If you feel that your neighbour's boyfriend is the problem, then it's really up to your neighbour to sort it out. If he isn't doing that, then that's his problem. There's no reason for you to feel that it's your responsibility.

The police are clearly being about as useful as the police usually are (i.e. not at all), so there's ultimately nothing you can do, short of risking getting into trouble yourself.

I hope you feel contentment very soon. Believe me, it will happen eventually.

(Assumption that it was a straight couple edit)

_____
[This message was edited Fri Mar 5 16:49:17 2004 by Haystack]

Time to get a house, apartments are the DEVIL

jerseykrs said:

I agree...

CarrieMpls said:

Are they both men, or is the abuser female?

Thanks for the advice all! I know I probably can't change much, other than being dutiful and calling the police when I think he's getting hurt. But it really has changed the quality of life for my other neighbors and me.
I have to wonder if the police take so long because they know it is a gay couple, 2 males. I don't want to think that, but knowing the Mpls police department, I can't shake the thought.
I've been thinking of house buying for a while, but I don't think I'm financially able yet. It's tough to do on your own. But this definitely has pushed me in to wanting to move. I'll be putting in my 60 days notice at the end of the month.

AnotherLoverToo said:

It's a gay couple. The one who lives there is 21, his boyfriend is older, probably 28-29.

CarrieMpls said:

Wow.....this is horrible!

that fuckin rots, man. the building i live in is mostly quiet, but i remember a particular episode with my last next-door neighbors--there was a man and a woman fighting, like hardcore. every 5 minutes the woman would bust outta the door screaming "help meeeee!!! help me!!!" at the top of her lungs, then it sounded as if she got dragged back into the apartment or sumfin by her boyfriend. it was fuckin horrible, man.

...and if you're gonna move, carrie, you should move into the building i live in. i dunno if there's any apartments up for rent, tho'...i remember there bein a whole lotta vacant units up for grabs. let me know if you're interested and i'll check with my landlord to see if there's any vacancies.

jerseykrs said:

mine's not. the building i live in is surprisingly calm, and i haven't had any problems in the 2 years i've lived here....

Apartment walls are thin... sometimes it is as if you are living two or more lives... our senses can be keen.

wow, i hate your neighbor's boyfriend, too. it's a shame what people will put up with for what they think is love. have you tried talking to your neighbor at all? i don't know if that would help or make things worse but it might be worth a shot.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

LOL. I had a sort of opposite incident. The guy and girl across the hall from me were constantly fighting. But she would stand out in the hall with the door open, yelling into the apartment at him, because she was a big ol drama queen and wanted the whole floor to know.

Several times he tried to yank her into the apartment telling her to be quiet, and she made an even bigger scene like she was being assulted or something.

One night I was so mad cuz they kept waking me up, I was almost about to go out there and give him a hand, shove her back into their apartment and slam their door, so I could get some sleep.

CarrieMpls said:

Have you complained to your landlord? In both apartments Ive lived in, they took that kind of stuff very seriously and would evict tennants after 2 or 3 warnings.

Tom said:

I haven't yet, but I plan to now. I had hoped it would be over after the first time the police were called. Lord knows no man would be allowed around who treated me like that. However, I have little hope it will do any good. My building was bought by a new management company a while back and they are not doing a very good job running the place, nor in choosing new tenants. I've been thinking about moving for a while, this just pushes me faster.

I just may have you see about any vacancies, Handclaps!

jessyMD32781 said:

I've been thinking about anonymously sliding some domestic abuse pamphlets under the door. A friend suggested a website with info specifically tailored toward gay domestic abuse. Apparently, many typical resources for women aren't always sympathetic.

CarrieMpls said:

You are doing the right thing by calling the police. If it bothers you too much then move.

Is this thread about me?

Supposedly we have a similar problem (heard through gossip w/ other neighbors) with some new neighbors that just moved in, although I haven't witnessed anything myself yet.

Freespirit said:

I often hear my upstairs neighbor farting in the bath tub. That, and the bed squeaks are starting to get on my nerves. I try to be a considerate neighbor, though. I always wear headphones when I have music on.