Bride: a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her
Ambrose [Gwinett] Bierce

Ball & Chain by Sublime

People listen up don’t stand to near
I got something that you all should hear.
All lies, all the lies she told to me
Make a litte part of history.
I was always taught that boy meets girl,
Fall in love get married and forget the world.
Nine months later, the sweet babys on the way.
Kiss ’em on the check and lifes ok.
I don’t feel, no pain. I don’t have, no time
To listen to conflicting points of view.
It’s a crazy world to live alone,
A ball and chain I call my own

People listen up don’t stand to close
I got something that you all should know
Holy matrimony is not for me.
Rather die alone in misery.
I was always taught that boy meets girl,
Fall in love get married and forget the world.
Nine months later, the sweet babys on the way.
Isn’t that what they used to say?
With a girl that you knew,
And the bonds that we grew.
Turned into a ball and chain.
I step into the great unknown,
A ball and chain I call my own.
Crazy world to live alone

With a girl that you knew,
And the bonds that we grew,
Turned into a ball and chain.
I step into the great unknown,
With a ball and chain I call my own.
Because marriage doesn’t work in the world today
It’s an instiution that is in decay.
And if I have love I wish to portray,
I will surely find another way.

Because I was always taught boy meets girl,
Fall in love get married and forget the world.
Nine months later the sweet babys on the way,
Kiss ’em on the check and lifes ok.
I don’t feel no pain, I don’t have no time
To listen to conflicting points of view
I step into the great unknown,
With a ball and chain I call my own
Oh No!

Q: WHy is a bride smiling as she walks down the isle?

A: Because she knows that as of that day, she's given her last blowjob.

....well, I thought it was funny